Please tell me your husbands are more helpful than mine...

steph2901

My husband doesn't seem to notice when things need doing around the house. If I ask him to do something, he will though.

I would not want to be that stressed over Christmas though and wouldn't want a house full of visitors for two weeks! That would be a complete nightmare in my opinion. Maybe suggest that someone else does it next year and have a relaxing one for a change.

meer53

Some blokes do things, some don't. Some can't see whats right in front of their nose. If they're like that, then you either accept it or you don't and get out. Some can be trained i suppose ?

My ex wasn't too bad on the Xmas stuff but i have to admit, our Christmases now are perfect without him. I stopped stressing about food and beds long ago. If people drop in, they eat what i have in, if they want to stay, they sleep wherever they like. If i have a spare bed, they can have that, if not, i have 3 sofas and spare blankets. Christmas dinner is just a huge sunday roast with extra bits, If some bits are missed, hey ho, no big deal.

OP, you're making this an issue, not you OH. I bet he's pretty chilled out ! I bet the visitors would be happy to help if asked.

duchy

onlyroz wrote: »

Was Gavin talking about me or the OP?


I .

I was quoting Polly's post so not sure where Gavin comes into it

Pollycat

duchy wrote: »

I was quoting Polly's post so not sure where Gavin comes into it

And I was quoting Gavin's post......:rotfl:

Here we go round the mulberry bush.....;)

enthusiasticsaver

My husband is not much help at Christmas either although he will do things if I ask him just in his own time. As I have realised this over the years Christmas has become a more chilled and relaxed affair and I have dropped the Christmas parties we used to host years ago when the children were small and mince pies etc are bought and not made. I did make some cakes yesterday but only because I wanted to and we do not have visitors to stay overnight as a general rule. I am quite happy with just my OH, elder daughter and me for Christmas dinner which I like doing and then going to my younger daughter and SIL afterwards for tea.


I think the OP sounds very resentful and should stop with many of the things she is doing. Tips for reducing stress over Christmas


Do the food shop online - I did this and Mr Ts delivered it all yesterday. No supermarket shop and I made OH order some of it so I did not have to spend hours doing it on my own. I ordered the essentials and let him order the fun bits so if there is not enough he only has himself to blame


Don't host Christmas unless you get some help from other people and allocate jobs on the day like peeling veg, laying the table, serving drinks or entertaining children. Lots of wine and no one cares who sits next to whom.


Don't plan and prepare each meal. We always have lots of strange meals after Christmas which usually involves seeing what is in the fridge and just doing a help yourself buffet.


Reduce the ridiculously long present lists and talk to people beforehand to suggest not buying presents for each other. I did that this year with my sister and her family and some friends who we always used to buy for them and their children who are now grown up. This year I have bought for OH, two daughters, son in law and granddaughter and my brother as he does not have a partner or children. My mum and stepdad were quite happy with this arrangement as they no longer want to go shopping for presents and can afford anything they need. Everyone else I spoke to beforehand and we all agreed we would go out for meals in the New Year and enjoy each others company rather than buying tat or whatever for each other. I have never bought for OHs family as figured he is quite old enough to buy his own family presents so consequently they have not exchanged presents for years . His mum sadly died this year and her and me were the only presents he had to buy so now it is just me.


Sit down with a book or watch a film on Christmas Eve, pour yourself a glass of wine and let someone else cook tea if you are doing the main Christmas dinner. I am letting my daughter and OH cook tonight.


It may not be perfectly organised but to be honest being relaxed and happy and enjoying each others company is more important. The OPs Christmas sounds a bit like the Grimwalds Family Christmas and a living nightmare to be honest.

peachyprice

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Maybe it's not that he's useless, it's that he's either waiting for specific requests so as to not mess with your system - or that he is keeping his head down and hoping it all blows over (whilst working during what sounds like a whirlwind of activity goes on around him)?

100% This ^^^^^

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

Oh goodie, a festive row.

Vodka, anyone?

Cheers.

Can only have one because I'm off round the corner to pick up a few bits whilst he's making tonight's lasagne and some mega cheese straws (both are legendary parts of Christmas) - if I have any more than that, I'll come back with three bags of booze and no bacon for him to do the morning fry up.


By the way, does anybody have an idea of how long you should cook a chicken that weighs about the same as a Beagle? At least I think it's a chicken. It may be a baby Velociraptor.

Means I'm going to have to cook it before he does the roasties, veg and stuffing, as it won't all fit in the oven at the same time.


Somebody more militarily inclined would probably be at meltdown at this point. But at least we won't starve for about a fortnight. [shrug]

Gigervamp

Jojo, weigh the chicken and cook it for 20 minutes per 500g, plus an extra 20 minutes.

System

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

I am so fed up, each year my husband promises to help, and gives assurances he will be helpful.

The fact that you're using the phrase 'husband helping me' shows where you think the main responsibility should lie. As others have implied, you are putting pressure on yourself, and in turn on him.

LannieDuck

Six of one, half a dozen of the other. Seating plans and mince pies from scratch are unnecessary. But your OH over promised and under delivered.

He promised to help and now thinks you're being unreasonable, so does he believe he's delivered on his promises?