Just wondering what you would make of this

seven-day-weekend

Misguided sense of fairness on Granddad's part.

Pollycat

Person_one wrote: »

Then what was the point you were making with your post? I've clearly not understood.

Just making the point that my sister & I were treated in the opposite way to you & your siblings and appear to have the same values.

red_devil

The whole thing is daft why do children need these presents. They will get loads on xmas day from their parents and their family members. How many do they need.

Person_one

Pollycat wrote: »

Just making the point that my sister & I were treated in the opposite way to you & your siblings and appear to have the same values.

Ok, thanks.

patanne

Surely any child seeing grandad hand back a Christmas present from Santa will think that grandad thinks I have been too naughty to have one? Which really would be upsetting for a child.

Jagraf

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Misguided sense of fairness on Granddad's part.

Very well put. That's all. I can't see the huge trauma though.

Peter333

Person_one wrote: »

I know I'll get a load of flak for this, but what hell...

My parents and grandparents have always had a 'tradition' since the sixties that siblings get a small token present on each other's birthdays. My siblings who are parents themselves now do the same. It hasn't at all resulted in entitlement, jealousy or anything negative, but in siblings who are close as adults and who value things like kindness and fairness most highly and aren't remotely materialistic.

They never expected anybody else to do the same of course. I don't really see why it's so terrible, and it wasn't at all hard to break the pattern. My mum in her fifties doesn't expect presents on her siblings' birthdays still funnily enough!

Oh and I would never turn up to see a new baby without a little something for the older siblings.

Why? :huh:

To both questions.

I have never heard anything like it, never experienced it, never known it. Everytime it's a child's birthday in your family; you buy their SIBLINGS presents too. !!!!!!? :huh:

My wife has 2 sisters who have 6 children, and 5 children. So if she were to go by your 'tradition,' then she would be buying 61 presents a year just for the birthdays of the children of her 2 sisters! (6 presents, 6 times a year for the one sister's children, and 5 presents 5 times a year for the other.) So one sister's children get 36 presents a year, and the other's children get 25 a year. So 61 presents.

I don't think this even makes any sense.

All I can think of is that you have a VERY small family.

Pollycat wrote: »

Well, my parents and grandparents didn't do that and it didn't result in entitlement, jealousy or anything negative either.
My sister and I are incredibly close as adults (we've spoken once on the phone today and have exchanged half-a-dozen texts) and we value things like kindness and fairness most highly and aren't remotely materialistic.

As Pollycat says, people who do it normally, and just buy for the birthday girl (or boy,) ALSO have relationships with siblings that are not resulting in jealousy or resentment.

Buying every child in the family a present when one of their siblings has a birthday is bonkers IMO.

Like the behaviour of the grandad in the OP. What awful behaviour he is teaching his grandkids. Sulk and pout and you will get your own way. God help their future friends/partners/bosses/neighbours/in-laws etc...

mumps

Person_one wrote: »

I know I'll get a load of flak for this, but what hell...

My parents and grandparents have always had a 'tradition' since the sixties that siblings get a small token present on each other's birthdays. My siblings who are parents themselves now do the same. It hasn't at all resulted in entitlement, jealousy or anything negative, but in siblings who are close as adults and who value things like kindness and fairness most highly and aren't remotely materialistic.

They never expected anybody else to do the same of course. I don't really see why it's so terrible, and it wasn't at all hard to break the pattern. My mum in her fifties doesn't expect presents on her siblings' birthdays still funnily enough!

Oh and I would never turn up to see a new baby without a little something for the older siblings.

I'm in my 60s and I have only ever known one family that did this. At school the other parents all thought they were bonkers but each to their own.

I agree with the present for the older sibling when a new baby is born unless their is a big age gap, my eldest was 20 when his youngest sibling was born and I don't think anyone felt the need to buy him a present.:rotfl:

onomatopoeia99

Peter333 wrote: »

Why? :huh:

To both questions.

I have never heard anything like it, never experienced it, never known it. Everytime it's a child's birthday in your family; you buy their SIBLINGS presents too. !!!!!!? :huh:

My wife has 2 sisters who have 6 children, and 5 children. So if she were to go by your 'tradition,' then she would be buying 61 presents a year just for the birthdays of the children of her 2 sisters! (6 presents, 6 times a year for the one sister's children, and 5 presents 5 times a year for the other.) So one sister's children get 36 presents a year, and the other's children get 25 a year. So 61 presents.

I have heard of it, although not experienced it myself. In families I knew where it happens, the sibling(s) who didn't have a birthday that day got one small present from the parents, not a present each from every person that bought the child whose birthday it was a present. So your wife would be off the hook for 50 of the 61 presents you are projecting her buying for her extended family.

I've never heard of everyone giving presents to every child in the family on every birthday.

SandC

I can actually see where families are coming from with giving a small gift to siblings on birthday days..... but gifts for existing child at the baby shower where mum is getting things for her new baby (actually the fact that she organised it herself is probably relevant as it seems to be all about the 'stuff' acquired)??

When someone I know has a new baby the baby gift us a token from me, nothing large (I believe they value better gifts when old enough to appreciate them), so certainly not buying stuff for any brothers and sisters!