Just wondering what you would make of this

DevilsAdvocate1

I run a parent and toddler group. Yesterday we had the Xmas party and Santa visited giving each child a small gift.

One of the grandads has been coming for a few years. First he brought his granddaughter. She started school last September, so no longer comes to toddlers. However, her little brother still comes each week.

Anyway, the grandad handed back the grandson's present. He said that the granddaughter would be very upset that her brother has received a present when she has not. He said he would either need a present for her (from toddlers) or he would need to hand his grandson's present back.

He is as particularly helpful grandad, so we eventually decided to give him an extra present. We often couldn't do this as we don't purposefully buy spare presents.

However, I felt quite uncomfortable about this. His granddaughter is five and the grandson is two. Am I being petty in thinking his grandson should have been allowed to keep his present and that the granddaughter should learn to accept this. What happens if she gets a present from school? Or in the future when they go to different birthday parties.

Just wondered what other people's view are.

balletshoes

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

I run a parent and toddler group. Yesterday we had the Xmas party and Santa visited giving each child a small gift.

One of the grandads has been coming for a few years. First he brought his granddaughter. She started school last September, so no longer comes to toddlers. However, her little brother still comes each week.

Anyway, the grandad handed back the grandson's present. He said that the granddaughter would be very upset that her brother has received a present when she has not. He said he would either need a present for her (from toddlers) or he would need to hand his grandson's present back.

He is as particularly helpful grandad, so we eventually decided to give him an extra present. We often couldn't do this as we don't purposefully buy spare presents.

However, I felt quite uncomfortable about this. His granddaughter is five and the grandson is two. Am I being petty in thinking his grandson should have been allowed to keep his present and that the granddaughter should learn to accept this.
What happens if she gets a present from school? Or in the future when they go to different birthday parties.

Just wondered what other people's view are.

I would have asked the grandad this.

Rambosmum

Granddad was being precious. Children need to learn that not everyone gets a present at the same time. I'm sure the little girl will see santa at school, will she have to give the present back if they won't give one for her brother?

Where will it stop? No he can't have a party bag unless his sister has one? Both getting presents on each others birthday's? It's nonsense.

DevilsAdvocate1

balletshoes wrote: »

I would have asked the grandad this.

I did, and he just said its the way his grandaughter is. Which didn't really answer my question at all. She is hard work and I used to get the impression they were on eggshells a lot of the time when they were around her.

amistupid

Sounds to me that granddad is helping bring up a spoilt brat.

Peter333

Agree with Ramobosmum and amistupid; this mans behaviour was pathetic. Children can't always have everything they want! If this other child was not part of the group any more, why is she even there, let alone expecting gifts?!

Poppie68

I think he's got a cheek the granddaughter is going to end up a brat if they continue pandering to her. Should of stood your ground and said no, that you only had enough for the kids there and then suggested he digs in his own pocket and buys her something.

Alikay

Granddad was being an idiot and I expect the childrens' mum would've put him right on it had she been made aware of his actions. Sometimes older men don't have much idea of kids party/social etiquette as historically it tended to be the mums who dealt with all that stuff (assuming he's an older granddad rather than one in his 40's).

lika_86

Firstly, he didn't demand another present, he was giving his grandson's back and explaining the predicament. It was open to the OP to take the gift and apologise.

Secondly, his granddaughter is five and presumably still believes in Santa, I wonder how you, in his position, would explain that Santa (real, magical Santa) was at nursery but only had a gift for one child. Yes she doesn't go there any more but that's not really how kids understand Santa is it?

Birthday parties are a different matter as only one child has a birthday and each will have a birthday and so receive gifts at a different time of year, but Christmas applies to both.

DevilsAdvocate1

Peter333 wrote: »

Agree with Ramobosmum and amistupid; this mans behaviour was pathetic. Children can't always have everything they want! If this other child was not part of the group any more, why is she even there, let alone expecting gifts?!

She wasn't there, she was at school.

DevilsAdvocate1

lika_86 wrote: »

Firstly, he didn't demand another present, he was giving his grandson's back and explaining the predicament. It was open to the OP to take the gift and apologise.

Secondly, his granddaughter is five and presumably still believes in Santa, I wonder how you, in his position, would explain that Santa (real, magical Santa) was at nursery but only had a gift for one child. Yes she doesn't go there any more but that's not really how kids understand Santa is it?

Birthday parties are a different matter as only one child has a birthday and each will have a birthday and so receive gifts at a different time of year, but Christmas applies to both.

If she had been at the toddler group she would have received a gift, no question there. But she wasn't even attending the group because she is now at school. Only the grandson was there.