Just wondering what you would make of this

GracieP

Wow. I initially read it as the man had brought her along to the party too and I could understand where he was coming from. I organised a toddler party a couple of weeks ago and scrounged up a few gifts for the few siblings of the regulars who came along as I'd hate for a child to feel left out. Especially by Santa.

But I certainly didn't find gifts for siblings not in attendance. If any parent felt they didn't want their child feeling jealous of their younger sibling's gift when they were at home then it was up to them to buy something to take home the child would have known no different. I'd have been tempted to tell the man; "Sorry we only have enough for the children in the group. But it would be a shame if your grandson can't keep his gift. There are a few charity and poundshops along the next few streets, I'm sure you can find her a little something before you pick her up.":cool:

duchy

Hmmm
My feeling was that the Grandfather was prepared to take a present away from his grandson which was horrible.

I'm wondering if the granddaughter is the first grandchild and he favours her in all things.
As stated no doubt the girl will be coming home from school with something from Santa anyway before the end of term.
I feel for this poor little boy .

Stupid man regardless - and I'd be having a word with Mum next time she comes in and explaining her Dad put the staff in a difficult position as no-one wanted the boy to be left out of the presents but you simply don't supply presents for absent older siblings and the gifts aren't age appropriate for them anyway.

VfM4meplse

duchy wrote: »

I'd be having a word with Mum next time she comes in and explaining her Dad put the staff in a difficult position as no-one wanted the boy to be left out of the presents but you simply don't supply presents for absent older siblings and the gifts aren't age appropriate for them anyway.

Actually I probably wouldn't. The little girl will have grown up a bit by next year and it's not worth souring the relationship with the grandfather over something so petty. Have a contingency plan for next year, should the little boy still be at the playgroup.

Eg have him DBS checked, make him Father Christmas next year and make him responsible for doling out X number of gifts to X number of children. He'll get the message loud and clear.

System

Not my child so i'd have accepted the gift back. God help the parents at birthdays. Its going to work out expensive.

splishsplash

How did that work then? The grandson met Santa, received a gift, presumably chatted happily to grandad and excitedly showed him the gift and then grandad took the gift off him and told him he couldn't keep it? Noooo. That's awful.

I would have a word with the mum, if I were you, OP, just to ask if grandson was ok. If he was upset, maybe you could explain what happened and give her the gift for him?

Pollycat

duchy wrote: »

Hmmm
My feeling was that the Grandfather was prepared to take a present away from his grandson which was horrible.

Yes it was horrible.

lika_86 wrote: »

Secondly, his granddaughter is five and presumably still believes in Santa, I wonder how you, in his position, would explain that Santa (real, magical Santa) was at nursery but only had a gift for one child. Yes she doesn't go there any more but that's not really how kids understand Santa is it?

Let's look at this from a different angle.
How would Grandad have explained to the toddler that Santa has a gift for all the toddlers except for him?

I too get the feeling that this elder child is favoured by the family.

Jagraf

I think this is really simple. Grandparents feel under pressure to act in a certain way - they're damned they do and damned if they don't. Whereas its a strange decision they don't have the confidence parents do to make their own assessment of the situation, havibg to follow the trends of the day. The grandad had probably been constantly told you can't give to one without the other.

I would cut the grandad some slack he's doing everyone a favour after all.

pigpen

I'd have said, I'm sorry you are going to let him miss out and took it back explaining you only have enough for the children attending.. and probably mentioned at the Christmas party at school he won't be getting a present but she will.. so they best get used to it!

Stupid and petty of the grandparent and going to cause problems for the 'second best' grandchild no doubt. How could anyone take a present from a 2 year old? It's just plain nasty.

My 5 year old got a selection pack at her party on Tuesday, brought it home and shared wit her 2 younger sisters.. through choice she opened it and offered them first pick.. we did insist she chose what she wanted first because it is hers after she did the same last year then later got upset because one took the item she wanted most.. she offered OH and me a sweet too which was very kind of her but we declined.

gabriel1980

I think he was very wise about this. When one children gets a present and the other doesn't, this can have a very negative effect on children. Sure it wasn't right in front of her, but it might still upset her.

Pollycat

gabriel1980 wrote: »

I think he was very wise about this. When one children gets a present and the other doesn't, this can have a very negative effect on children. Sure it wasn't right in front of her, but it might still upset her.

I disagree.

It teaches children that sometimes one gets a gift and one doesn't, and sometimes it's the other way round. It's not unfair.
That's called 'learning about life'.

That's why we have so many kids with unreasonable expectations of how life is going to treat them.

Are you really suggesting that when it's one child's birthday, the other should also get gifts?