Just wondering what you would make of this

suki1964

We had taken the grandchildren for their tea in a resturaunt 3 weeks ago and there was a big family party happening. They had organised Santa and our two grand kids were invited to come meet him and received a gift

We never knew the family, they had just reasoned there would be other kids there and had added a few extras

Grandson is at the age where he's no longer quite believing,their kindness has made it more believable for him


I know it's not an answer to the op, just wanted to share

pigpen

gabriel1980 wrote: »

I think he was very wise about this. When one children gets a present and the other doesn't, this can have a very negative effect on children. Sure it wasn't right in front of her, but it might still upset her.

Rubbish.. they learn it is not always about them and they can be pleased others got a gift.. the joy of giving rather than perpetual taking and materialistic ideals.

My children love to give a gift and learning that sometimes to give a gift is the greatest gift .. you give happiness to another and in return you may get a gift in the future.

toniq

You never know what is going on with the little girl, She could have austism or something similar and that present issue could be a trigger point, you said she was a handful previously, you just don't know.

Believe me I know about trigger points and the things you do to avoid them.

But all above is just my speculation, who knows, not the best way to do it but he asked and you gave. Maybe he should handle it different, no idea unless we knew the background of it all.

What we do know is that he cares enough to bring the kids over the years to toddler groups and is involved and a good helper whilst there.
x

Pollycat

toniq wrote: »

You never know what is going on with the little girl, She could have austism or something similar and that present issue could be a trigger point, you said she was a handful previously, you just don't know.

Believe me I know about trigger points and the things you do to avoid them.

But all above is just my speculation, who knows, not the best way to do it but he asked and you gave. Maybe he should handle it different, no idea unless we knew the background of it all.

What we do know is that he cares enough to bring the kids over the years to toddler groups and is involved and a good helper whilst there.
x

The OP runs this toddler group so if there was some medical issue affecting the little girl, would the OP have been advised of that fact when the little gorl first started?

I would have thought so.

I can't imagine a parent (or grandparent) leaving a toddler in someone else's care if they have something that may be triggered by anything at all - even just another toddler taking a toy from them - without explaining the situation.

LannieDuck

As a Mum going through this atm with a 2yo and a 4yo it's very difficult. The 4yo has been so good sharing all her toys / sweets / party bags etc with the 2yo that I have to enforce it the other way around too otherwise it would be unfair. But the 2yo isn't quite old enough to understand sharing, so she just sees me taking away some of 'her' things.

Yesterday the 2yo had her first party bag. She was thrilled and clutched it all evening. The 4yo was v upset she didn't have one, but I made sure the 2yo shared some of her sweets. There were some tears (from both sides), but they were still friends at the end of the day.

...but that's parenting. They're going to have to learn that sometimes one gets a present/party bag that the other doesn't get. We just have to find a way to navigate through it in a way that leaves them both friends at the end of the day!

Pollycat

So if you were 'grandad', LannieDuck, how would you have handled this situation - bearing in mind that the elder child was not present when the gift was given?

LannieDuck

Pollycat wrote: »

So if you were 'grandad', LannieDuck, how would you have handled this situation - bearing in mind that the elder child was not present when the gift was given?

I realised as I posted that I hadn't actually answered the question - I was still pondering

The trouble is that we don't know if Grandad was acting on the parents' orders or not. If he was, in his position I would have had a word with nursery staff in advance - he would have been stuck in a very difficult position.

But I suspect he was probably just making his life a little easier. If you're babysitting it's easier to ignore the big life lessons in favour of short term gain.

Ultimately, he should have just accepted the present for the 2 year old. I'm sure the 5 year old will be getting presents from school / other clubs this year that the 2 year old won't get (of course, that's less stressful on the grandparents since the 2 year old won't kick up so much of a fuss...).

McKneff

gabriel1980 wrote: »

I think he was very wise about this. When one children gets a present and the other doesn't, this can have a very negative effect on children. Sure it wasn't right in front of her, but it might still upset her.

Are you for real !!!!!! :rotfl::rotfl:

Pollycat

Pollycat wrote: »

So if you were 'grandad', LannieDuck, how would you have handled this situation - bearing in mind that the elder child was not present when the gift was given?

LannieDuck wrote: »

I realised as I posted that I hadn't actually answered the question - I was still pondering

Sorry, LannieDuck, my post wasn't very clear (just been having a couple of rants about 2 different ebay sellers).

If your 2 year old had been at the party and your elder child at school, what would you have done with the gift?

pollyanna24

In this day and age, I doubt whether the little girl would notice that her brother got a gift and she didn't. Gone are the days where it would be something special where the little boy would carry it (say a book) for days. It probably would just get lost in the midst of all their other toys by the time the girl came home from school.