Just wondering what you would make of this

LilElvis

lika_86 wrote: »

Firstly, he didn't demand another present, he was giving his grandson's back and explaining the predicament. It was open to the OP to take the gift and apologise.

Secondly, his granddaughter is five and presumably still believes in Santa, I wonder how you, in his position, would explain that Santa (real, magical Santa) was at nursery but only had a gift for one child. Yes she doesn't go there any more but that's not really how kids understand Santa is it?

Birthday parties are a different matter as only one child has a birthday and each will have a birthday and so receive gifts at a different time of year, but Christmas applies to both.

Kids at that age believe whatever yarn you spin them about Santa. No chimney - how does he come in to deliver the presents? Answer - he has a magic key that can open every door. I'm sure the family could have come up with a plausible reason why the brother had met Santa at toddler group, rather than guilt-tripping the OP. If she hadn't had a spare gift how would the grandfather have explained to the little boy why Santa was taking his present away? He was prepared to disappoint one child to appease another. Pretty poor thought processes on the grandfather's part, in my view.

I bet the granddaughter has "met Santa", or will be in the next week. The old man seems to get everywhere!

balletshoes

lika_86 wrote: »

Firstly, he didn't demand another present, he was giving his grandson's back and explaining the predicament. It was open to the OP to take the gift and apologise.

Secondly, his granddaughter is five and presumably still believes in Santa, I wonder how you, in his position, would explain that Santa (real, magical Santa) was at nursery but only had a gift for one child. Yes she doesn't go there any more but that's not really how kids understand Santa is it?

Birthday parties are a different matter as only one child has a birthday and each will have a birthday and so receive gifts at a different time of year, but Christmas applies to both.

so whats going to happen when Santa comes to the girl's school, and he doesn't have a parcel for her brother? To be honest, I'm surprised this hasn't already happened (ie last year and the year before, when baby brother wasn't at toddler group yet, but granddaughter was and got a pressie when baby brother didn't). The principle is the same, is it not?
I'm really surprised this is even a consideration - that if you're not there to see Santa (before xmas eve night of course, when no-one should stay awake to try and see Santa), you should get/expect a present regardless.

Person_one

Its up to each family how they choose to manage gifts/sibling relationships etc. so if he wanted to return the gift that's completely up to him.

I definitely wouldn't have felt obliged to find another present for the sister though.

I have a sneaking suspicion that it might have been a bit of a way to angle for a freebie for the girl, and he got away with it. If you'd called his bluff I reckon he may well have changed his mind and accepted the boy's gift!

VfM4meplse

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

If she had been at the toddler group she would have received a gift, no question there. But she wasn't even attending the group because she is now at school. Only the grandson was there.

Why would a 5 yo want a gift suited to a toddler....?

The grandfather was being unfair to both you and his grandson. If he wanted to even things up a little he would have bought a small gift for his DGD instead, it's not as if she would have known.

He may be helpful, but he's not doing his DGD any favours.

Jagraf

Alikay wrote: »

Granddad was being an idiot and I expect the childrens' mum would've put him right on it had she been made aware of his actions. Sometimes older men don't have much idea of kids party/social etiquette as historically it tended to be the mums who dealt with all that stuff (assuming he's an older granddad rather than one in his 40's).

Strangely I thought the opposite. I would suggest the grandad would have been fine with it and he was probably acting upon the mothers views.

I find grandparents much more realistic than "new age" parents.

To be honest he's doing just grand by looking after the kids in the first place.

I don't agree with what he did but he probably did what he thought he was expected to do.

jackyann

Having done many years around toddler & playgroups, nothing surprises me!
I don't think that on the whole it is up to you to decide how families manage Santa / presents etc. (assuming this is an ordinary community group)
What you (and your committee / helpers / whoever makes decisions) can decide is the basic rules, and make them clear.
Many of us have been suddenly put in a slightly daft position by odd requests - we do the best we can on the spur of the moment (you did) and then use the experience to make a proper policy for next year. Give notice so everyone knows - and then let the family handle it.

Mojisola

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

I did, and he just said its the way his grandaughter is. Which didn't really answer my question at all. She is hard work and I used to get the impression they were on eggshells a lot of the time when they were around her.

She has two generations of adults helping with her upbringing and they're all failing her!

McKneff

I would have called his bluff and just took the pressie back.


He and only him would have been responsible for how his grandson felt when he was the only one not getting a pressie.

enthusiasticsaver

I think the granddad in this case is being ridiculous if the granddaughter is older and was not even there. If the granddaughter is so spoilt she always expects to get presents regardless of whether it is Christmas or birthdays then the parents/grandparents are making a rod for their own backs. It would not take too much to explain to a five year old that sometimes Santa comes to a house, sometimes to toddler group and sometimes to school or department store and in this case he had come to toddler group to give a present to her brother and I daresay that she would get her own present at some time. Children do have to learn that nice things don't always happen at the same time to everyone and at some point she will need to accept that.

enthusiasticsaver

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

I did, and he just said its the way his grandaughter is. Which didn't really answer my question at all. She is hard work and I used to get the impression they were on eggshells a lot of the time when they were around her.

Maybe she is hard work because they pander to her all the time. I often used to find that when my children were small that the children who were the worst behaved were the ones where the parents seemed to be afraid to say no to them. Children need boundaries and a firm hand or they turn out to be spoilt little darlings.