similar background = better compatability?

catoutthebag

It's nice that this thread has opened up.

So being the op I'll say this about the religion aspect: I was brought up following a particular faith. Fair to say I don't follow it. It would be ideal if someone was non religious like me. I would happily see someone who did follow a faith, as long as they didn't use it to dictate to me or others. And I guess if they were so serious about it so as to bring up potential children to follow their doctrine in quite a stead fast manner, then that wouldn't be suited to me. If children want to follow what they want when they are old enough to make am educated decision rather than be endocrinated from the go, that's fine.

Torry_Quine

VfM4meplse wrote: »

I think atheism is a bit strong if not downright arrogant and can understand an aversion to someone who will swear blind that God doesn't exist.

What about an agnostic, though? At least they will admit they don't know and perhaps keep an open mind?

I said and repeat that I wouldn't contemplate marrying anyone who didn't share my faith.

catoutthebag wrote: »

It's nice that this thread has opened up.

So being the op I'll say this about the religion aspect: I was brought up following a particular faith. Fair to say I don't follow it. It would be ideal if someone was non religious like me. I would happily see someone who did follow a faith, as long as they didn't use it to dictate to me or others. And I guess if they were so serious about it so as to bring up potential children to follow their doctrine in quite a stead fast manner, then that wouldn't be suited to me. If children want to follow what they want when they are old enough to make am educated decision rather than be endocrinated from the go, that's fine.

I do agree that children should make the choice of what they want to follow or not when old enough to decide.
All parents though will bring their children up within the belief system that they have such as taking them to a place.of worship or saying that there is no heaven for example. That's not indoctrination but parents trying to be the be best they can.

AubreyMac

Person_one wrote: »

Especially if they refer to them as their 'coloured' friends. :eek:

I'm a coloured person myself, so that's ok innit.

As for faith, I am faithless. So it means I can't get no sleep.

But I am spiritual. I believe in a higher being that I call god - an entity beyond my ability to explain. I believe what I believe and don't need to be labelled or associated with any religion to prove my beliefs. I would only be open to dating someone of some Christian denominations, but I don't think I'll be keen on other faiths.

catoutthebag

Funny starting this thread and I check eharmony. ..one of my 'matches', after a small list of things they'd like in a person, at the end 'well travelled'.

Person_one

AubreyMac wrote: »

I'm a coloured person myself, so that's ok innit.

No, not really, other people of all backgrounds find it really offensive.

justme111

The title of this thread is different to the original post and to further posts. In one op refers to similar "background", in another to the fact of having finished a course at university , yet in another to having similar "attainment".
I have a feeling op is very bored as it does not take even a soft degree to see that having similar educational level is one of the factors in compatibility which does not ensure it though as there are zillions of other factors and degrees are different as well.

Pixie5740

VfM4meplse wrote: »

I think atheism is a bit strong if not downright arrogant and can understand an aversion to someone who will swear blind that God doesn't exist.

What about an agnostic, though? At least they will admit they don't know and perhaps keep an open mind?

Does keeping an open mind also include keeping your mind open to the possibility that God does not and has not ever existed?

FBaby

I don't think it is about background but about sharing principles and visions.

OH and I have different background, different religious beliefs and different education attainment, but we have been raise with similar values and somehow share extremely similar principles of life and I do think that this is quite essential. It made the difference between being together because we fell in love and enjoy each other's company and getting married and making a commitment to being together forever.

Pollycat

catoutthebag wrote: »

Exactly. I'm talking about similar attainment, irrespective of ambition. To assume both were linked would be even more naive.

And as mentioned, it was one point. People haven't discussed varying backgrounds or upbringing or experiences.

For example, I'm reasonably Travelled, but I wouldn't reject someone who wasn't. I've seen it on dating sites and speaking to others who have been rejected. Now that's blinkered.

No.
What you actually posted was:

catoutthebag wrote: »

Do you find that seeking a partner of a similar educational and / or social background is better for a successful relationship? Do you find that you seek someone similar to you?

I was speaking to a couple friends who have been to uni (like me) and they said they could only be with a partner who's been to uni. They argued that intellectually they would feel better suited or stimulated and most people have been to uni so it wasn't asking a lot and that you can tell the difference in someone who has or hasn't?

There was another friend I spoke to and he said he didn't care and that it was how 2 people connected.

What are your experiences?

Specifically education.

Pollycat

catoutthebag wrote: »

Funny starting this thread and I check eharmony. ..one of my 'matches', after a small list of things they'd like in a person, at the end 'well travelled'.

catoutthebag wrote: »

I was speaking to a couple friends who have been to uni (like me) and they said they could only be with a partner who's been to uni. They argued that intellectually they would feel better suited or stimulated and most people have been to uni so it wasn't asking a lot and that you can tell the difference in someone who has or hasn't?

Stating a preference on a dating website is very different to saying you would reject a potential partner because of their educational qualifications - which is what your friends are saying.