similar background = better compatability?

Jagraf

Why would anyone equate having a degree with intellect?

Intelligence is about ability (not just academic) a degree is about opportunity.

Opportunity can be used in many ways, so a degree only shows used opportunity. You can do this by using opportunity at work instead, or in many other ways.

System

My mum didn;t pass her 11+ so uni was never an option my dad on the other hand went to uni, happily married for 24+ years despite a different level of education.

I'm from the generation where it felt like everyone went to uni, i did graduate and do have a degree but its a "mickey mouse" one... Bf on the other hand dropped out of uni, and has had periods of temping and not working inbetween (though he's in line for a perm job atm). But does it bother me? Not in the slightest. Maybe its cos we're both drifters in a sense and neither of us had specific plans and prefer to enjoy life in the moment. I've dated people who had a masters degree, and people who never went to uni, but then people's educational backgrounds aren't generally what has attracted me to them.

fierystormcloud

torbrex wrote: »

What you basically said there is that anyone who does not have a degree does not apply themselves or show willing to try something new.

I would call that having a go at people that do not have a degree.

I don't need to make anything up, all I need to do is quote you.

I did NOT say that. You are twisting my words to make them say what you want them to say. Yes I said that people who have a degree, even if it's in an 'easier' subject, should still deserve respect, because it shows they are willing to try new things and apply themselves. I did NOT say that people who don't have a degree are NOT willing to try new stuff and apply themselves. You made that bit up!

Will you PLEASE stop misquoting me and taking my words out of context? It's really not on.

Also, I SAID that people who judge people on what degree they have is judgmental and pious, NOT that anyone who disagrees with me is judgemental and pious.

Good grief! How people love to twist words to suit their agenda!

ravilious_fan wrote: »

To be fair, you did write a rather inflammatory post, asserting that anyone who held a view you disagreed with was narrow-minded, judgemental and pious. Of course somebody was going to come along and set you straight.

You need to learn to write a bit less confrontationally if you don't want to be confronted.

I NEVER SAID THAT! See my post to Torbrex. ^^^

I did not put an inflammatory post,,and nobody has 'set me straight' thank you very much, because I have not said anything that needed to be set straight.

So YOU quit taking my words and twisting them too.

And I still maintain that having a degree IS better than not having one. How can it NOT be better to have a degree, than to be without one?!

But I am not slating anyone who doesn't have one FGS.

As I said, some people on here do love to twist words to suit their agenda.

I am done with you two on this thread. I cannot reason with or have a conversation with people who are just adamant that they are right, and I am wrong, and are determined to have an argument, and who make stuff up to continue the argument, and insult me and my posts because I say something they disagree with.

So go bug someone else. Byeee. :wave:

fierystormcloud

Torry_Quine wrote: »

'We are to be in the world but not of it' As I would like to be with my spouse for eternity then it would make no sense to marrry a non-Christian.

Seems strange to me that you could share your life but have diametrically opposed views on something so foundational as to whether or not Christ is the thing that underpins all you do. For instance whether Jesus was just a good man or was indeed the Son of God.

I could only have married an atheist if my faith meant nothing to me

Wow, words fail me. So you are saying that everybody who is a Christian who is with someone who is not, that their faith means NOTHING to them?

Thank goodness not everyone has your attitude.

Unbelievable!

onlyroz

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Wow, words fail me. So you are saying that everybody who is a Christian who is with someone who is not, that their faith means NOTHING to them?

Thank goodness not everyone has your attitude.

Unbelievable!

To be fair, I don't really see how a religious believer and an atheist could be compatible. It is a pretty fundamental thing to disagree on.

fierystormcloud

onlyroz wrote: »

To be fair, I don't really see how a religious believer and an atheist could be compatible. It is a pretty fundamental thing to disagree on.

Not really. There are many, many people with non-believing partners. I know at least a dozen. Thankfully, some people are open minded and tolerant.

balletshoes

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Wow, words fail me. So you are saying that everybody who is a Christian who is with someone who is not, that their faith means NOTHING to them?

Thank goodness not everyone has your attitude.

Unbelievable!

Torry's faith is right up there with everything that she holds dear in her life, and I think its entirely possible that Torry's total commitment to her faith came early in her life, before she met her husband. What she expressed is how she feels, about her life and her values.

People come to what their faith means to them at different times in their life. My mum was brought up as a churchgoing Christian from childhood, but I think it was with more rote than real feeling, until fairly late on in her life (if I had to guess I'd say it was in her late 30s). By that time she had a nominally Christian husband and 4 kids. She enjoyed and practised her faith in her own way, at church, among other followers. She didn't insist my Dad go with her, and although she did take us all to Sunday school etc, and the older 3 of us joined the church in our teens, we are all at best nominally Christian of the fairweather variety, and I think my brother and I, nowadays, would consider ourselves Agnostic. We all rub along together fine, and I'm now married to a fairweather Muslim (which always bodes well for conversation among my husband's traditional religious family ).

enthusiasticsaver

catoutthebag wrote: »

Do you find that seeking a partner of a similar educational and / or social background is better for a successful relationship? Do you find that you seek someone similar to you?

I was speaking to a couple friends who have been to uni (like me) and they said they could only be with a partner who's been to uni. They argued that intellectually they would feel better suited or stimulated and most people have been to uni so it wasn't asking a lot and that you can tell the difference in someone who has or hasn't?

There was another friend I spoke to and he said he didn't care and that it was how 2 people connected.

What are your experiences?

I have not read all the posts on this thread but as far as the OP is concerned I would say that it is a bit narrow minded to only consider a partner with a university education if you yourself had a degree. I left college in the late 70s with A levels good enough to go to university but for a variety of reasons I decided to postpone going and started work instead. From there I started to progress in my career and university no longer seemed to be important to me. Likewise my husband of 33 years left school at 16 with just a couple of O Levels and embarked on an apprenticeship and from there built his career up through work and day release to become a qualified electronic engineer. Formal education for us became less relevant than vocational skills.


I now work in a University, both my daughters went to University and one has just received a PhD so I can also see the value of a University education especially now when so many school leavers do get one. I do not however believe that a successful partnership is dependent on both parties having a similar level of education. I believe shared work ethics and family values are more important.


My younger daughter married someone who also had a degree but I do not think that was necessarily a factor in her decision to choose him as her life partner. My elder daughter however is an academic through and through and I think she probably will choose someone with a similar level of education or at least an intellectual equal simply from the point of view that she would want a partner who would be able to converse at a similar level to her. That does not necessarily mean a university educated person though.

Tigsteroonie

fierystormcloud wrote: »

I am sick to the back teeth of the snobbery and mocking that goes along with degrees that 'some' people deem as unworthy.

I have found, more often than not, that this snooty attitude comes from people who do not have a degree.

Funnily enough, I am sick to the back teeth of the snobbery that goes along with having a degree.

I have found, more often than not, that this snooty attitude comes from people who do have a degree and are desperately trying to justify their snobbery.

But it's okay, you don't have to talk to me either. Bye.

fierystormcloud

balletshoes wrote: »

Torry's faith is right up there with everything that she holds dear in her life, and I think its entirely possible that Torry's total commitment to her faith came early in her life, before she met her husband. What she expressed is how she feels, about her life and her values.

People come to what their faith means to them at different times in their life. My mum was brought up as a churchgoing Christian from childhood, but I think it was with more rote than real feeling, until fairly late on in her life (if I had to guess I'd say it was in her late 30s). By that time she had a nominally Christian husband and 4 kids. She enjoyed and practised her faith in her own way, at church, among other followers. She didn't insist my Dad go with her, and although she did take us all to Sunday school etc, and the older 3 of us joined the church in our teens, we are all at best nominally Christian of the fairweather variety, and I think my brother and I, nowadays, was consider ourselves Agnostic. We all rub along together fine, and I'm now married to a fairweather Muslim (which always bodes well for conversation among my husband's traditional religious family ).

Thanks balletshoes.

And I can understand perfectly what you are saying. Many many people who go to Church and have a relationship with Jesus have a partner who is not a believer, or who does believe, but doesn't go to Church.

To imply that someone's faith 'means nothing to them' if they have a non-believing partner (or a partner who believes, but isn't bothered about going to Church,) is very insulting to every single Christian who has a non believing partner (or partner that believes but isn't bothered about going to Church.)

Like I said, I know lots of people whose partner does not share their passion for Jesus. Their relationships are fine, and they are as committed to their faith as Torry, or anyone else who has a partner who goes to Church.

And what happens if someone who refuses to accept a husband or wife unless they are a strong believer and Churchgoer, if he/she stops believing? Are they going to leave them?

What about their friends and family members? If they are non-believers, do they not get to be in their life?

I just find excluding people who don't share your faith, very narrow minded and quite prejudiced to be honest.