similar background = better compatability?

Pixie5740

catoutthebag wrote: »

I see you point pixie. And do you have the same view as to upbringing / background / experiences?

I don't know really. I'm also of the Blair generation (never voted for the !!!!!! though). I have a working class background and my mum's biggest fear is that I become a middle class !!!!!!. I did have a relationship with a very milddle class man who seemed to think he was far better educated than me (Edinburgh boarding school) and even used to check the dictionary to make sure I was using certain words correctly (I always was) but he hasn't totally put me off dating those who went to boarding school.

I know what are deal breakers for me and some of them might have something to do with upbringing and background. Like I wouldn't want to date a smoker or someone without good table manners (I hate slurping, shovelling, gobbling, chewing with mouth wide open, noisy eaters basically) and I don't like fidgets. The school someone attended or where they grew up aren't really that important to me.

I like to travel and go to far flung places just as much as I'm happy camping around Scotland. I tried the all-inclusive cheap week in the sun and I was bored. If I dated someone who didn't like travelling I would still want to go on my kind of holiday with or without them and they could go on theirs. However, if they said something along the lines of, "You don't need to travel. You can look everything up on Wikipedia and go to the Chinese down the road," I probably wouldn't be impressed.

balletshoes

Pollycat wrote: »

I think it's a bit short-sighted to assume that just because someone didn't go to university they don't have ambitions & dreams and intend going through life aimlessly.
What about plumbers? Electricians?
And if someone is attending, for example, catering college - are all these people without ambition and dreams?
I think instead of being aimless and unsure what to do with their lives they probably have more idea of where their future lies than a lot of people who go to university - especially the ones who choose to do (to quote Lil Elvis) 'Mickey Mouse' degrees.

I didn't mention anything about going to university or college in my post about having ambitions and dreams?

balletshoes

Pollycat wrote: »

But the OP isn't talking about having dreams, goals and ambitions - it's about having the same level of education.

Who's to say that somebody who went to university isn't going to doss about for the rest of their life?

i agree completely with you, and actually now i've read the OP again, my first post on this thread wasn't really relevant to be honest.

balletshoes

catoutthebag wrote: »

Exactly. I'm talking about similar attainment, irrespective of ambition. To assume both were linked would be even more naive.

And as mentioned, it was one point. People haven't discussed varying backgrounds or upbringing or experiences.

For example, I'm reasonably Travelled, but I wouldn't reject someone who wasn't. I've seen it on dating sites and speaking to others who have been rejected. Now that's blinkered.

similar attainment? as in educational attainment? wouldn't even occur to me to ask to be honest, and it really wouldn't be any kind of factor in being with a partner.

catoutthebag

balletshoes wrote: »

similar attainment? as in educational attainment? wouldn't even occur to me to ask to be honest, and it really wouldn't be any kind of factor in being with a partner.

Guess dating wise we are asked to select it (education) all the sites and hence why people can filter out the 'type' they want. Personally I'd not have this as an option on any site in order to avoid risk if preconception.

Fair enough if it's not an issue for you personally.

Guess it's all personal preference, just as we have personal physical preferences in a prospective, consciously or subconsciously, there's a judge and jury in every one of us.

Jagraf

No I don't. It's about where you want to go, not where you've been.

balletshoes

catoutthebag wrote: »

Guess dating wise we are asked to select it (education) all the sites and hence why people can filter out the 'type' they want. Personally I'd not have this as an option on any site in order to avoid risk if preconception.

Fair enough if it's not an issue for you personally.

Guess it's all personal preference, just as we have personal physical preferences in a prospective, consciously or subconsciously, there's a judge and jury in every one of us.

i have no experience of dating sites, so don't know what they filter and what they don't.

Yes, there is judge and jury in every one of us, but I don't believe in judging a book by its cover, and I also believe that first impressions are not always a true reflection of someone's personality.

Torry_Quine

I think we all have certain things which would be important in a future life-partner. To me the most important things are sharing the same outlook on life, sharing the same faith and enjoying speniing lots of time at home.

AubreyMac

Pollycat wrote: »

But the OP isn't talking about having dreams, goals and ambitions - it's about having the same level of education.

Who's to say that somebody who went to university isn't going to doss about for the rest of their life?

Apologies, I took the OP to be asking on background/upbringing & the education part was an example of a conversation amongst friends.

It's true that graduates could end up dossing about, but likewise those who didn't go could go later in life.

VfM4meplse

SailorSam wrote: »

Do you think all of us here on Mse should look for a partner who is also on here.

I wouldn't recommend that DT regulars get together, it's bound to end in trauma.

catoutthebag wrote: »

Yes - my friends and I (educated 30 somethings),were from that Blair generation. I'm just passing on their opinions to spark debate.

Similarities are important, and the ability to have a rewarding conversation with someone for the rest of your life would be for many people, essential. Differences can expand your horizons and help you learn more about yourself.

Either way, sometimes you have to stop navel gazing and get on with it. If you're in your 30s you should have enough life experience to be a reasonable judge of character.