similar background = better compatability?

LilElvis

Pollycat wrote: »

So is half classed as 'most'? :rotfl:

Perhaps it is if you have a Mickey Mouse degree

catoutthebag

Yes - my friends and I (educated 30 somethings),were from that Blair generation. I'm just passing on their opinions to spark debate.

There are of course snobbiness in these talks. I guess everyone has their types of preferences.

For example. .2 people may have been to uni (and that's just an example I chose), but 1 may have a house and travelled and lived in various places and quite career driven. They may prefer someone who has also travelled or lived in various places or a career and own place. ..in another aspect of similar experience rather than educational background.

Pollycat

balletshoes wrote: »

My daughter and I were talking about this recently - she says she has a better affinity with people like her, who have ambitions and dreams and intend pursuing at least some of them. She, at the moment, thinks she wouldn't want a serious relationship with someone who was aimless and didn't really know what they wanted to do with their life.

I think it's a bit short-sighted to assume that just because someone didn't go to university they don't have ambitions & dreams and intend going through life aimlessly.
What about plumbers? Electricians?
And if someone is attending, for example, catering college - are all these people without ambition and dreams?
I think instead of being aimless and unsure what to do with their lives they probably have more idea of where their future lies than a lot of people who go to university - especially the ones who choose to do (to quote Lil Elvis) 'Mickey Mouse' degrees.

LilElvis wrote: »

Perhaps it is if you have a Mickey Mouse degree

I hoped you'd say that. :rotfl:

74jax

Hubby been to uni I haven't. Hubby didn't need to go to uni for his job but his dad was a uni lecturer and wanted him to have a uni background.

Makes no odds to us as a couple.

As for with friends and people we work with, I don't know how it would even come up in conversation.

AubreyMac

I think similar background would = better understanding.

However you can understand and be emotionally in tuned with another if you're more open minded.

Whether that makes for a more lasting relationship depends on what each individual looks for in a partner.

I have a very fractious relationship with my family, I'm not close to any parent or sibling. I was abused by way of being neglected. My first partner came from a home where his parents remain together and work full time, own their home and are close knit. This meant my bf at the time could be judgemental of those who did not achieve or even had ambitions to achieve an amazing high powered career. It was easy for him as he always had family support and encouragement even thought he didn't go uni. There was one time I was browsing through a womans mag (some trashy one) and he started making derogatory comments about it. He was a bit flash and measured success by what he's got. He was emotionally cold and just wanted the practical things like work, house, partner, dinner, holidays etc.

2nd bf came from similar background to my first but he was very understanding and open minded, I think being with me and seeing my family really opened his eyes to a world outside his own bubble. He was willing to consider and listen to other people. He wanted affection, he placed less importance on materials and family was extremely important to him, he would want a partner he could talk to each day and was insistent that evening, weekends and annual leave was prioritised together.

AubreyMac

balletshoes wrote: »

My daughter and I were talking about this recently - she says she has a better affinity with people like her, who have ambitions and dreams and intend pursuing at least some of them. She, at the moment, thinks she wouldn't want a serious relationship with someone who was aimless and didn't really know what they wanted to do with their life.

I would agree with your daughter on this.

Ambition doesn't always mean education and career, it could be future plans to want a family, want to move abroad etc. it doesn't even have to be solid plans with a timeframe but wanting to do it in the future is an ambition itself.

I couldn't be with someone who didn't have goals in life, it'll make me wonder how serious they are with me then.

pickledonionspaceraider

OP, your friends, for apparently 'intelligent' people, they really have a very blinkered view

most people have been to Uni? Maybe in the Enid Blyton books they did and then they all had tea on Kirrin Island

theoretica

Broadening the question from partners to friends as we usually have more of them I realise my closer friends do not form a full cross section of society. Do yours?

Pollycat

AubreyMac wrote: »

I would agree with your daughter on this.

Ambition doesn't always mean education and career, it could be future plans to want a family, want to move abroad etc. it doesn't even have to be solid plans with a timeframe but wanting to do it in the future is an ambition itself.

I couldn't be with someone who didn't have goals in life, it'll make me wonder how serious they are with me then.

But the OP isn't talking about having dreams, goals and ambitions - it's about having the same level of education.

Who's to say that somebody who went to university isn't going to doss about for the rest of their life?

catoutthebag

Pollycat wrote: »

But the OP isn't talking about having dreams, goals and ambitions - it's about having the same level of education.

Who's to say that somebody who went to university isn't going to doss about for the rest of their life?

Exactly. I'm talking about similar attainment, irrespective of ambition. To assume both were linked would be even more naive.

And as mentioned, it was one point. People haven't discussed varying backgrounds or upbringing or experiences.

For example, I'm reasonably Travelled, but I wouldn't reject someone who wasn't. I've seen it on dating sites and speaking to others who have been rejected. Now that's blinkered.