similar background = better compatability?

fierystormcloud

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

Funnily enough, I am sick to the back teeth of the snobbery that goes along with having a degree.

I have found, more often than not, that this snooty attitude comes from people who do have a degree and are desperately trying to justify their snobbery.

But it's okay, you don't have to talk to me either. Bye.

Where did I say I have a degree? :huh:

I didn't say that I had a degree.

Wow, I am losing count of the amount of people who are making stuff up to cause an argument!

:rotfl:

It's hilarious!

People REALLY need to read posts properly before attacking me.

Naughty

Pixie5740

I can see where Torry Quine is coming from. Christians (and other Abrahamic religions) believe not just in life on Earth but in the after life as well. I am a staunch atheist and as such Christians believe I have a one way ticket to hell when I die. If I married a Christian they would need to go through life believing that we won't be together in the after life. I could lie and pretend I buy into Jesus and Christanity but that would involve lying to my partner and I wouldn't lie I definitely about something as fundamental as this.

fierystormcloud

Pixie5740 wrote: »

I can see where Torry Quine is coming from. Christians (and other Abrahamic religions) believe not just in life on Earth but in the after life as well. I am a staunch atheist and as such Christians believe I have a one way ticket to hell when I die. If I married a Christian they would need to go through life believing that we won't be together in the after life. I could lie and pretend I buy into Jesus and Christanity but that would involve lying to my partner and I wouldn't lie I definitely about something as fundamental as this.

I guess some people are just more understanding and tolerant than others.

balletshoes

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Thanks balletshoes.

And I can understand perfectly what you are saying. Many many people who go to Church and have a relationship with Jesus have a partner who is not a believer, or who does believe, but doesn't go to Church.

To imply that someone's faith 'means nothing to them' if they have a non-believing partner (or a partner who believes, but isn't bothered about going to Church,) is very insulting to every single Christian who has a non believing partner (or partner that believes but isn't bothered about going to Church.)

Like I said, I know lots of people whose partner does not share their passion for Jesus. Their relationships are fine, and they are as committed to their faith as Torry, or anyone else who has a partner who goes to Church.

And what happens if someone who refuses to accept a husband or wife unless they are a strong believer and Churchgoer, if he/she stops believing? Are they going to leave them?

What about their friends and family members? If they are non-believers, do they not get to be in their life?

I just find excluding people who don't share your faith, very narrow minded and quite prejudiced to be honest.

Pixie has explained it pretty well I think - its not just marriage in this life, but for eternity.
I'd hope committed Christians wouldn't preclude non-committed Christians from being their friends in this life, and your other point about half of a committed Christian couple losing their faith is a good one, don't know what would happen there! But its bound to have happened.

Pixie5740 wrote: »

I can see where Torry Quine is coming from. Christians (and other Abrahamic religions) believe not just in life on Earth but in the after life as well. I am a staunch atheist and as such Christians believe I have a one way ticket to hell when I die. If I married a Christian they would need to go through life believing that we won't be together in the after life. I could lie and pretend I buy into Jesus and Christanity but that would involve lying to my partner and I wouldn't lie I definitely about something as fundamental as this.

fierystormcloud

Thanks Ballet shoes.

I am done on this thread anyway, and on the forum for a couple of days, as I am a little tired of being attacked for nothing. It's keeps happening tonight. People reading my posts, taking them out of context, and wading in with put-downs and insults. Another poster has started on me for nothing now! Saying I have said things I haven't even said!

Can't help feeling that if it wasn't me, the attitude from people would be different.

Disagree with me by all means, but it's the snide sarcy way they do it, and the put-downs and snarkiness.

So I'm off for a few days. Got a some stuff to catch up on anyway! :wave:

No doubt someone will mock and berate this post too. :rotfl:

Jacko_amz

My partner is completely opposite to me, we both had very different up bringings, he got expelled from school and therefore has little qualifications however has worked his way up in his career, I went to uni to become a nurse. We come from different worlds but when together that doesn't
Mean a thing! X

Torry_Quine

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Wow, words fail me. So you are saying that everybody who is a Christian who is with someone who is not, that their faith means NOTHING to them?

Thank goodness not everyone has your attitude.

Unbelievable!

I said that if I could only have married an atheist if my faith meant nothing to me, I was talking about me. How other people reconcile their beliefs is up to them.

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

Funnily enough, I am sick to the back teeth of the snobbery that goes along with having a degree.

I have found, more often than not, that this snooty attitude comes from people who do have a degree and are desperately trying to justify their snobbery.

But it's okay, you don't have to talk to me either. Bye.

I agree, I don't have a degree and some people can be very disparaging especially when I tell them the school I went to which doesn't have the best of reputations.;)

Torry_Quine

balletshoes wrote: »

Torry's faith is right up there with everything that she holds dear in her life, and I think its entirely possible that Torry's total commitment to her faith came early in her life, before she met her husband. What she expressed is how she feels, about her life and her values.

People come to what their faith means to them at different times in their life. My mum was brought up as a churchgoing Christian from childhood, but I think it was with more rote than real feeling, until fairly late on in her life (if I had to guess I'd say it was in her late 30s). By that time she had a nominally Christian husband and 4 kids. She enjoyed and practised her faith in her own way, at church, among other followers. She didn't insist my Dad go with her, and although she did take us all to Sunday school etc, and the older 3 of us joined the church in our teens, we are all at best nominally Christian of the fairweather variety, and I think my brother and I, nowadays, was consider ourselves Agnostic. We all rub along together fine, and I'm now married to a fairweather Muslim (which always bodes well for conversation among my husband's traditional religious family ).

Thanks.

Actually although I did go to Sunday School and then church I ddin't become a believer myself until my now husband and I were going out. I had never been told that I had to make my own decision as regards whether I personally followed Him.

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Thanks balletshoes.

And I can understand perfectly what you are saying. Many many people who go to Church and have a relationship with Jesus have a partner who is not a believer, or who does believe, but doesn't go to Church.

To imply that someone's faith 'means nothing to them' if they have a non-believing partner (or a partner who believes, but isn't bothered about going to Church,) is very insulting to every single Christian who has a non believing partner (or partner that believes but isn't bothered about going to Church.)

Like I said, I know lots of people whose partner does not share their passion for Jesus. Their relationships are fine, and they are as committed to their faith as Torry, or anyone else who has a partner who goes to Church.

And what happens if someone who refuses to accept a husband or wife unless they are a strong believer and Churchgoer, if he/she stops believing? Are they going to leave them?

What about their friends and family members? If they are non-believers, do they not get to be in their life?

I just find excluding people who don't share your faith, very narrow minded and quite prejudiced to be honest.

If the spouse of a Christian were to lose their faith then that is not a reason to leave them but I can see why it could seem that way. Of course non-believers are in my life but that's very different to marriage.

Pixie5740 wrote: »

I can see where Torry Quine is coming from. Christians (and other Abrahamic religions) believe not just in life on Earth but in the after life as well. I am a staunch atheist and as such Christians believe I have a one way ticket to hell when I die. If I married a Christian they would need to go through life believing that we won't be together in the after life. I could lie and pretend I buy into Jesus and Christanity but that would involve lying to my partner and I wouldn't lie I definitely about something as fundamental as this.

That's it precisely. Why would I want to marry someone knowing we would be seperated for eternity.

onlyroz

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Not really. There are many, many people with non-believing partners. I know at least a dozen. Thankfully, some people are open minded and tolerant.

It's not about being tolerant. I can trundle along happily enough with religious believers, and I know a fair few of them who are extremely devout. However, I absolutely couldn't marry somebody who genuinely believed that I was doomed to rot in hell, and who built their lives around the idea of putting Jesus/Mohammad etc above everything else.

I am sure that there are happy couples where one party is a notional believer who is happy to go along with the religion because it's what they were raised in - but I don't see how somebody who is truly devout, and who genuinely believes that atheists are doomed to an eternity spent n hell, would be happy to spend the rest of their life with one.

VfM4meplse

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Seems strange to me that you could share your life but have diametrically opposed views on something so foundational as to whether or not Christ is the thing that underpins all you do. For instance whether Jesus was just a good man or was indeed the Son of God.

I could only have married an atheist if my faith meant nothing to me

I think atheism is a bit strong if not downright arrogant and can understand an aversion to someone who will swear blind that God doesn't exist.

What about an agnostic, though? At least they will admit they don't know and perhaps keep an open mind?