7 years - no proposal

tea_lover

pigpen wrote: »

Because it's not him.. it is my insecurity.. he is lovely. He would do absolutely anything I asked, he's there when I need anything .. if anything he shouldn't be as nice to me as he is.

My ex-husband was abusive and vile.. and has only got worse of late.. my neediness is vast.. I do accept this is my problem.

So ask him to marry you!

pigpen

tea_lover wrote: »

So ask him to marry you!

except that lol

System

Re: what to call them

I do refer to my bf as my boyfriend, even though i'm 29 and he's 27, occasionally i slip to say partner but that seems a bit premature as we've not even been together a year yet. I'm not sure what else i could call him really There's a part of me that wants to say "other half" as cheesy as it is, as in a lot of ways i do feel like he completes me [/cheese]

pigpen, you should never feel like you're not good enough, nobody should ever feel like that

Pollycat

fashionvictim wrote: »

I call my OH my partner. Although I think of same sex relationships, but I agree boyfriend girlfriend sounds a bit more casual after a number of years and being older than 25 !

The other day my partner he called me his 'wife' and I objected as we aren't married, he got embarrassed as was in front of someone. Later he asked me why I caused a scene, as he was doing it in a romantic way.

Why on earth did you object?

Didn't you view it as your partner sees you as his wife even if you are not married?

I'm not surprised he was embarrassed. If I'd been part of the company I would have been embarrassed too - not for his perceived faux pas - but for your clear obsession with him marrying you.

fashionvictim wrote: »

I said if he wanted to be romantic and call me his wife he needed to actually marry me. Of course he didn't say anything.

I'm not surprised he didn't say anything.

To tell a partner that "if he wanted to be romantic and call me his wife he needed to actually marry me" would for some people result in them not being romantic ever again - not the result you really want - which is for him to marry you.

seven-day-weekend

I wouldn't want to be called 'wife' if we were not actually married. To me it's a privileged title only come about by going through a legal ceremony.

(Although I wouldn't have said anything in public).

Pollycat

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I wouldn't want to be called 'wife' if we were not actually married. To me it's a privileged title only come about by going through a legal ceremony.

It's obvioulsy me who is out of step here but I think people are getting too hung up on a label rather than the quality of the relationahip.

Georgiegirl256

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I wouldn't want to be called 'wife' if we were not actually married. To me it's a privileged title only come about by going through a legal ceremony.

(Although I wouldn't have said anything in public).

I wouldn't have said anything in public either, but I agree I wouldn't have wanted to be called wife if I wasn't either. It's abit strange tbh.

Pollycat

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I wouldn't have said anything in public either, but I agree I wouldn't have wanted to be called wife if I wasn't either. It's abit strange tbh.

Why is it strange?

The way I saw the 'incident' was that the guy was so comfortable within his relationship that he really sees fashionvictim as his wife - not girlfriend, not partner, not other half, not significant other or any other term.

Rather than objecting, I would probably have been secretly or overtly pleased with him referring to me as his 'wife'.

Mojisola

Pollycat wrote: »

The way I saw the 'incident' was that the guy was so comfortable within his relationship that he really sees fashionvictim as his wife - not girlfriend, not partner, not other half, not significant other or any other term.

So why not get married?

That way he can give the person he thinks of as his wife all the legal protection that comes with the real thing.

Georgiegirl256

Pollycat wrote: »

Why is it strange?

The way I saw the 'incident' was that the guy was so comfortable within his relationship that he really sees fashionvictim as his wife - not girlfriend, not partner, not other half, not significant other or any other term.

Rather than objecting, I would probably have been secretly or overtly pleased with him referring to me as his 'wife'.

Well if he's that comfortable with referring to her as his wife, why doesn't he actually marry her then?

Personally I do find it strange as she isn't his wife, as SDW said, that is a title gained by going through a legal ceremony. Maybe he was in a situation where most of the couples were married, and he felt it might take the heat off if he referred to her as such? I don't know? It's just something that would strike me as strange that's all.