7 years - no proposal

pigpen

lika_86 wrote: »

I don't think people that want to get married do generally live with someone who doesn't consciously want to marry them at any point though. They generally think it will happen at some point in their relationship.
!

I do!!

He told me he didn't want to get married, most single guys say that.. then they propose.. I just thought he'd change his mind but what do I do? Kick him out? Force him? issue an ultimatum?

Its not always that simple

Person_one

catkins wrote: »

Why offensive? I know a few woman who have had an "accident", a couple of them more than 1. But they all seem to have happened at a very convenient time.

Offensive because its essentially (falsely) accusing many many thousands of women of lying. I also don't appreciate it when people assume they know more about somebody else's body and what its been through than the person who lives in it.

Anatidaephobia

catkins wrote: »

I know a few woman who have had an "accident", a couple of them more than 1. But they all seem to have happened at a very convenient time.

An accident just means it happened unexpectedly, without apparent or deliberate cause; it doesn't mean that it's therefore a terrible thing that one shouldn't be happy about once they got over their initial shock.

If somebody was less than happy about it, they probably wouldn't tell you anyway so how would you know?

Anatidaephobia

pigpen wrote: »

He told me he didn't want to get married, most single guys say that.. then they propose.. I just thought he'd change his mind but what do I do? Kick him out? Force him? issue an ultimatum?

While I completely sympathise with your situation, I have to say that in my experience, young and/or single guys tend to say something along the lines of "one day, but WAY in the future" rather than saying they don't want to get married at all. I would've been concerned when he originally said that

Torry_Quine

burlington6 wrote: »

Complete madness

Why?..........

Pollycat

Person_one wrote: »

It's not just a label though, it means something important. Marriage is not just a piece of paper!

Living together, having children togethe, sharing the good times & bad times - does that need a piece of paper?

I doubt many will believe this but we've just spent a few hours with a couple who we've been friends with for over 10 years & he referred to her as 'my wife'.
She isn't his wife - and she didn't object - but I'm damn sure that he thinks of her that way.
The only reason I noticed that commentand was because of fashionvictim's earlier post.

jtr2803

Clearly my marriage isn't 'special' as we waited five years and lived together first... *roll eyes* I cannot even comprehend marrying someone after just a few months and with whom I'd never lived with. Seems a huge risk to take.....

Just to add insult to injury, it only happened after I told him 'marriage or time to call it quits'.... Still very happily married two and a half years later. It might not have been high on his agenda but it was important to me, we had a lovely small personal wedding and my hubby always refers to it as the best day of his life, despite his initial reservations.

Dird

Do you & OH watch much TV together? If so you should download The Amazing Race season 26...they race around the world (potential wedding destinations?) and that season just happens to have a proposal at the end of one of the episodes

Gigervamp wrote: »

When I was still with my ex husband, at one point, we were using condoms. One condom split completely and I got pregnant.
My pregnancy certainly wasn't "accidentally on purpose"

The condom was certainly an accident but did he not mention a morning after pill? Did he know you weren't on the pill?

Trek_girl wrote: »

Did you not know that 83% of statistics are made up on the spot?

It's actually 87%.

Pollycat wrote: »

To me, 'boyfriend' is a term when you're going out with someone that you don't live with, don't have children with, don't share bills, cooking, chores, finances with.

Each person is different. To me partner is a sterile term. If I had a gf & she invited me somewhere then introduced me as her partner I'd ask what business we were in together.


It seems some of my quotes didn't copy...since when is 30 a small wedding?!

You said you'd compromise for small but have been set on "the dess" for years...how many £££ is that eating out of the £3k?

Personally I don't care about the wedding at all, I've had my proposal idea for years & will still do that (unless I get put off marriage between finding a gf & then) which is more on the lavish side but then she'd get disappointed after I say now lets just sign docs & skip wasting money on a day xD

Mojisola

Pollycat wrote: »

Living together, having children togethe, sharing the good times & bad times - does that need a piece of paper?

Of course not - but you do need that piece of paper to get the legal protections and financial benefits.

pigpen

Anatidaephobia wrote: »

While I completely sympathise with your situation, I have to say that in my experience, young and/or single guys tend to say something along the lines of "one day, but WAY in the future" rather than saying they don't want to get married at all. I would've been concerned when he originally said that

At the time I didn't want to get married either.. I had recently escaped an abusive relationship. If I understood why he felt that way I may actually understand and agree.. that is the worst part, not knowing why, it just makes me feel it is me that is not good enough.. I'm good enough to have children with, form that lifelong tie.. marriage you can at least escape from