7 years - no proposal

*~Zephyr~*

I use the term Other Half, because frankly, he is so important to me he IS the other half of me. He's a much nicer/better person than I am and he's often my conscience, my voice of reason. Without him, I don't know where I'd be because he makes everything better.

Boyfriend feels too childish, partner is OK, but I'm not overly-keen on it. OH just feels right, and if we were to get married I think I'd still call him OH rather than husband/hubby/hubster.

But I occasionally introduce him as my Lover when I'm feeling particularly mischievous, as it embarrasses him and makes him scowl at me in the most delicious way! :rotfl:

Mojisola

fashionvictim wrote: »

I agree with one of the other posters for me I want to have children and I would go ahead without being married but it does cause children surname issues.

No more issues than faced by a married couple who keep their own names.

heartbreak_star

fashionvictim wrote: »

I agree with one of the other posters for me I want to have children and I would go ahead without being married but it does cause children surname issues.

Double-barrelling covers this. I have a double-barrelled surname and love it so much I wouldn't change it if I married

(Good job we don't want children eh?)

HBS x

fairy_lights

I refer to my OH as my partner, I think it's the most appropriate word for it and even if we were married I'd probably still call him my partner. We're equal partners and partners in crime.

pigpen

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Double-barrelling covers this. I have a double-barrelled surname and love it so much I wouldn't change it if I married

(Good job we don't want children eh?)

HBS x

no.. it really doesn't.. mine have a db surname and it is stupid.. they hate it, I hate it, OH hates it.. you're lucky to like yours but you are possibly a minority.

I get called allsorts.. ex-husbands name .. utterly shameful and embarrassing.. my dads.. I got married to get rid of it in the first place and its not been my name for 23 years I don't want it now either.. I want the same name as my other half and my small children but it is cheaper to have a simple ceremony than change everyones surnames!

pigpen

Pollycat wrote: »

Lordy! Lordy! The post above made very hard reading.

Pigpen - does your partner know just how you feel?

sorry.. it is very complex.. I think he does.. but I still feel like he doesn't think I'm good enough and he is waiting for a better offer.

tea_lover

Pollycat wrote: »

I think it depends entirely on your circumstances.

I don't think it would be much harder for me & my OH to divorce than to split up.

Yep, totally depends on circumstances. I got divorced years ago - no house, no children, no joint assets. Cost me £45 to get a solicitor to check the paperwork.

I've recently split up from a long-term partner (not married). It's taken the best part of this year so far and still not fully sorted, it's also cost me nearly £25k.

Mojisola

pigpen wrote: »

but I still feel like he doesn't think I'm good enough and he is waiting for a better offer.

If I thought this about my OH, I wouldn't still be with him, married or not married.

*~Zephyr~*

Mojisola wrote: »

I thought this about my OH, I wouldn't still be with him, married or not married.

Me too.

Pigpen, I don't mean to offend, but why are you with him if he makes you feel that way? Or is it just the fact that he won't marry you that makes you feel that way and in all other ways he makes you feel wonderful?

pigpen

Because it's not him.. it is my insecurity.. he is lovely. He would do absolutely anything I asked, he's there when I need anything .. if anything he shouldn't be as nice to me as he is.

My ex-husband was abusive and vile.. and has only got worse of late.. my neediness is vast.. I do accept this is my problem.