7 years - no proposal

Petra_70

Blueskies21 wrote: »

That's fair enough but we aren't in the early stages of our relationship. We've been together for 7 years I've seen him lost both his parents we have a child and we have bought a house together.

I understand that, but I am just explaining an example of someone I used to know who pushed her man into what he didn't want, and 10 years later, he bolted, and left for another woman, and said he never loved her, and she pushed him into everything; living together, getting married, and having children.

I think nagging a man to get married is the worst thing you can do; they don't like being cornered or coerced or emotionally blackmailed into marriage.

If I were you, I would ask him why he doesn't want to get married; because it sounds like he doesn't want to. If he did, he would have married you by now.

Blueskies21

I would hate to force him I really would. I'd rather not do it than force him. But then I put my full life on hold when we are ready to buy a new house and baby. I just don't see why he wouldn't want to marry me. He says he does and he would do it tomorrow if it was abroad etc. So I don't know what to believe.

Mojisola

Blueskies21 wrote: »

I would hate to force him I really would. I'd rather not do it than force him. But then I put my full life on hold when we are ready to buy a new house and baby. I just don't see why he wouldn't want to marry me. He says he does and he would do it tomorrow if it was abroad etc. So I don't know what to believe.

If he came out and said that he doesn't want to get married, full stop, would that be a relationship breaker for you?

Petra_70

Blueskies21 wrote: »

I would hate to force him I really would. I'd rather not do it than force him. But then I put my full life on hold when we are ready to buy a new house and baby. I just don't see why he wouldn't want to marry me. He says he does and he would do it tomorrow if it was abroad etc. So I don't know what to believe.

Why is he so obsessed with getting married 'abroad?' :huh:

Why don't you tell him that you refuse to have another baby with him, and you refuse to buy a new house, because he won't get married.

Fight fire with fire. Seems he is getting everything his way, and you are allowing it and enabling it...

I don't mean to sound horrible, but this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at ALL.

Blueskies21

No I wouldn't end the relationship. But it would make me hurt and confused and maybe wouldn't make for a happy relationship (for a while then maybe I'd get over it and on with our life)

Blueskies21

He is obsessed with abroad as that's what he always "dreamed of" and that way it's a small wedding no pressure whilst not looking like you aren't inviting guests and not having a "cheap wedding" at home.

Person_one

I'm sure you're already well aware of a lot of this OP, but always useful reading on this subject when posts pop up that marriage is 'just a piece of paper' or suggesting that its possible to be 'as good as married' without that paper:

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/relationships/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences/

Torry_Quine

If marriage is so important to you then it should have come before you moved in and had a child together.

You are engaged as you agree that you will marry at some point, a proposal isn't always needed.

Petra_70

Blueskies21 wrote: »

He is obsessed with abroad as that's what he always "dreamed of" and that way it's a small wedding no pressure whilst not looking like you aren't inviting guests and not having a "cheap wedding" at home.

Call his bluff then; say 'OK, let's do it, let's get married in PARIS!' (or where ever....) see what he says to that,

Blueskies21

Yes that's the ideal situation but we weren't in an ideal situation when I got pregnant at 20 and therefore we are making the best out of a not so ideal situation. I now want to make up for our situation previously and make sure any other kids are brought into a family with a marriage etc.