Stuck in a quandry and dont know what to do

Guest101

FireWyrm wrote: »

Sadly, I dont know any of the children's friends parents well enough to impose on them like that. I think I'd be a bit put out too if the boot was on the other foot.

Does anyone have any actual experience of home birthing? I'm struggling to see any other option. If husband takes the kids over to the inlaws then I'll be alone for 2 hours minimum and potentially, have a risky situation where I am forced to labour alone without any help at all. I'm a believer in the power of nature, but I dont know of any sane woman who would want to be totally alone at that point.

But why would you be alone, the midwife would still be there.


Home birth isn't just you and your husband

ognum

thriftylass wrote: »

Hi, congratulationas and I hope it all goes well.

If I were you, I would prob leave kid no 3 with the inlaws for a week or two depending. Do kid no1 and 2 have close school mates where they could crash for a night. Let's say by 8 pm you realise this might be the night could they go over? If it happens during the day then they'll be in school and DH could nip home and pick them up or they could go home to a school mate if their parents are warned? Or as suggested, could one of your inlaws stay with you for a while.

I'm not too keen on home births myself. What if...Plus the kids would still need to be taken care off unless they can stay in their room for hours.

Hope it works out and good luck

I would not seperate the younger child from the family for a long period of time and then introduce a newborn.

Mrs_Imp

Could the in-laws come and stay with you for a couple of weeks?

FireWyrm

Guest101 wrote: »

But why would you be alone, the midwife would still be there.


Home birth isn't just you and your husband

No, I understand that. What I meant was 'instead of home birthing', while I wait for a ride to the hospital.

The sequence of events which I am afraid of....

1) Its the middle of the night, the kids are asleep and labour starts
2) To get the kids away to the inlaws and back again will be 2 hours
3) meanwhile, I'm alone waiting for him to come back.

In any case, how long will it take the midwife to arrive?

FireWyrm

Mrs_Imp wrote: »

Could the in-laws come and stay with you for a couple of weeks?

<Shudder>

1) no place to put her unless you count the cupboard under the stairs (which doesnt sound like a bad option)
2) would you?

Corelli

I can't help you with your logistics, but I've had all my bubbas at home and it's the best thing ever. Midwifery care was mostly at home for the first two, but I remember going into hospital appointments for the third. Being in control and in your own home feels so good. There are so any arguments in favour of not interrupting labour by traveling somewhere strange, less interventions, no risk of catching hospital based infections. BUT I had my husband there, and more importantly, a good woman friend, experienced in birth and massage. Tell your husband that my husband said it was the best possible thing from his point of view too. In hospital, you're on someone else's territory and he felt a lot more confident being at home, and a lot more comfortable too,

I think I'd have been very frightened on my own. The midwives wouldn't be allowed to go off and leave the mother and new baby on their own either. I'm pretty sure, but not 100% on that one. The midwife was never there all the time right from the start. They came with great urgency once I was in serious labour, and then the second one turned up somewhere in the second stage.

At home, if your husband can be there to support you and be there for the other children it does sound ideal but you WILL both need to be able to get rest and it's not easy without someone else looking after the older children.

Congratulations and good luck.

FireWyrm

ognum wrote: »

I would not seperate the younger child from the family for a long period of time and then introduce a newborn.

Worse yet, I've got the problem of (both) schools fining us for taking the kids out during term time. A few years ago, this wouldnt have been an issue. A week at nannas would have been entirely normal and accepted. Now though, the bloody school fines for anything that isnt exceptional circumstances and if a dying grandparent doesnt count as exceptional, then a birth isnt either.

shiny76

Have you thought about a Doula?

From a web site:
"Doula" (pronounced "doola") is a Greek word meaning "woman servant or caregiver". It now refers to an experienced woman who offers emotional and practical support to a woman (or couple) before, during and after childbirth. A doula believes in “mothering the mother” - enabling a woman to have the most satisfying and empowered time that she can during pregnancy, birth and the early days as a new mum. This type of support also helps the whole family to relax and enjoy the experience.

FireWyrm

Corelli wrote: »

I can't help you with your logistics, but I've had all my bubbas at home and it's the best thing ever. Midwifery care was mostly at home for the first two, but I remember going into hospital appointments for the third. Being in control and in your own home feels so good. There are so any arguments in favour of not interrupting labour by traveling somewhere strange, less interventions, no risk of catching hospital based infections. BUT I had my husband there, and more importantly, a good woman friend, experienced in birth and massage. Tell your husband that my husband said it was the best possible thing from his point of view too. In hospital, you're on someone else's territory and he felt a lot more confident being at home, and a lot more comfortable too,

I think I'd have been very frightened on my own. The midwives wouldn't be allowed to go off and leave the mother and new baby on their own either. I'm pretty sure, but not 100% on that one. The midwife was never there all the time right from the start. They came with great urgency once I was in serious labour, and then the second one turned up somewhere in the second stage.

At home, if your husband can be there to support you and be there for the other children it does sound ideal but you WILL both need to be able to get rest and it's not easy without someone else looking after the older children.

Congratulations and good luck.

Thank you, that's really helpful information. I really have no idea how a homebirth works here because it is so unusual still.

As for husband needing 'rest',. well, he can get it in between looking after kids, like I will be. The two eldest are old enough to get themselves out the door to school in the morning. Everyone is tired, that's just life. I'm not worried about that. I'm more worried about 'emergency' situations. To be fair though I havnt had an emergency yet unless you count a retained placenta which had to be removed last time but that's hardly life threatening.

I'm hoping that this birth will be normal and quick (which I know sound trite). The midwives seem totally unconcerned, so much so, that they even told me that they dont need to see me more than a few times during the entire course of the pregnancy. I saw them at booking, once the other week, once in December and that will be it until I'm due they tell me. They say they dont worry about 4th time parents at all and just leave nature to take it's course.

duchy

Why don't you contact the duty midwives at your hospital and make an appointment to discuss your concerns and ask them how home birth works with regards to when the midwife arrives etc specifically with that hospital.

Could the grandparents not collect the children from you.
Personally I'd send the youngest to granny whenever you felt ready to drop and decide what happens with the school age ones depending on what time your labour starts . Have plans for each time of day. Who knows you could have a quick labour starting at 10 am and Dad could pick them up from school as normal and take them straight to meet their new sibling. I'd also investigate before and after school clubs at the school and see if they'd have them in an emergency as a one off to lengthen the school day.

All this I'd be alone whilst he sorts out the kids tells me you might be more comfortable with a hospital rather than a home birth as there would be staff around 24/7 so you wouldn't be alone.