Do I hire a private investigator

barbiedoll

OP...I completely agree with BigAunty about staying away from the press, especially the Daily Mail. Journalists are very good at getting you to talk but anything you say may be taken out of context, twisted and then published all over the web and in print. And even if they did manage to find him, all you'd get is a "no comment to make" and you'd be no nearer to finding out why he has done this.

A friend of my family had a similar situation with his father, who disappeared one day and wasn't found for over a year. They did get a private investigator, who found him quite easily within a few days. It didn't cost that much (between £2-400 if memory serves me correctly) and they say it was worth it just for peace of mind. He wasn't a conman and he didn't have another family, he just wanted to leave his life behind. Not great for his wife and children though.

The FB friends all disappearing is odd, I take it that you have asked other people to search for him/his friends, using their account? It's unlikely that all 50+ of his friends have very high privacy settings on their FB accounts, if no-one can find any of them, then I would guess that he created all of them. My sister has a colleague who set up a fake girlfriend and several fake friend accounts, she found out by searching the "girlfriend" on Google images, which led to her looking at his "friends", all of whom were fake!

Have you tried Googling his phone number? Even if he's cut up the sim, any listings with the number will still be on there.

And what about this police incident when he was stopped on the motorway? You could try calling the 101 number and having a chat with a copper on there. I've used this a couple of times and I've found them to be very helpful and friendly (if you get one that's not too sympathetic, just hang up and try at a different time). There will be a record of this incident somewhere, you may be able to find out some details from the documents that he had to produce, even if they won't tell you who he is, they may be able to confirm that he was using a false name.

I do feel for you and I can understand why you want to find out a reason for this. I would strongly advise you to change the locks on your property though. If he does have another family somewhere, he may well do the same to them. And if he needs somewhere to go in a hurry, he may come back to you. I know you love him and miss him but you don't want a stranger (which he basically is) walking into your home whenever he feels like it.

lemonpopcorn

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Now thinking "You never know.....".

I wouldn't think its him...but you do never know.....

nothing about my ex would surprise me anymore.....except finding out he'd told the truth about something.

OP if you want to pm me to compare notes or even to put your mind at rest that my ex is not your ex, you're welcome to do so.

Freeraine

The Salvation Army provide a service to people who want to trace a missing person. There is a small registration fee of about £25 but that's all.

The purpose of the service is to reunite families with a view to reconciliation. I think you fit the criteria, as long as you emphasise that you want to trace the father of your child and re-establish some form of communication for the future. If you say that you want to confront and challenge the missing person before cutting him out of your life then it is probabe that the S.A. won't take you on.

It may take weeks or may takes years to find him, but the service knows how to access information that the rest of us can't (legally).

The minimum information that they need are: full name, date of birth or exact age, last known address.

More information here: http://www.salvationarmy.org.uk/i-need-find-someone

Hope that helps!

Shelly193

We found him this afternoon. My sister had the idea of searching facebook for his name, but trying different spelling variations of his surname. We must have searched thousands of people, when we noticed a woman, married to his name living in Jersey. I clicked on the name to view his profile, and it came up saying the profile does not exist. My sister logged in facebook on her phone, getting the same message.
We setup a new facebook account, not linked to either of us, looked up the profile and there he was. He probably blocked every friend I had, to stop me finding him. Thankfully, his lovely wife had everything public.

We've ran his name through everything possible. Company check has given the most shocking result. He is the director of a manufacturing company here in Brum. It's a half an hour drive from my house. That explains why he was always here. I thought I would be happy finding him, instead I was physically sick. The greedy !!!!!!! has used me, when he already has everything most people dream of.
I can't think of a single rational explanation as to why someone would do this?

If I appear calm, it's because I have taken my medication. I wanted to go to his company address and smash the place up. My parents want me to do everything by the book, so we are going to see a solicitor to see what action we can take to keep the slimey !!!!!!! away from me, and to make sure he supports his son.
I know I haven't said it, but thank you all. The Eden table is similar to the keyring. I would like to know how you found that? I have searched everything possible to what I described, and never came close.

lemonpopcorn I would like to talk with you when I'm not under the influence of my medication.

Shelly193

I forgot to say, he lied about his age, making himself five years younger. He is 36 in his real life. He lied to me from the very moment I met him. I do find myself questioning if he had it planned to sucker someone in like this, and I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

kitty_cat_2

Shelly to be honest I've followed this thread from the beginning and when you didn't get back quickly I thought that it was kids trolling. Sorry if this offends you but please see my next comment, however after following it I hope that you have a good ending for you and your son. The person that you lived with - well to be honest I really can't get my head around his way of thinking. Take a step back and do it legally and with grace.... And then really pi$$ him off with your detective work. Very best wishes hunny for you and your son I hope it all works out well for you xxx

Topcat1982

I would just pass the details on to the CSA. You don't really need to waste money on a solicitor now

Shelly193

kitty_cat it's fine. People who know me found it difficult to believe. A normal person would not do what he has done.

Shelly193

Tonight has been difficult. With my medication, I sleep through the night. I woke up after about an hour tonight. I don't know if it was a dream, but I woke up feeling like he was here with me. I checked the whole house to be sure.
I wasn't scared or angry, I was comfortable. Almost like I wanted him here. Looking through all the photo's we have taken, and thinking about everything we done together, makes me happy.

As bad as he is, he was good. If he is like the way he was with us, with his family, they are all probably happy. If I go after him, I will break a happy family apart. I think it is for the best if I just let it go.

Gingernutty

Topcat1982 wrote: »

I would just pass the details on to the CSA. You don't really need to waste money on a solicitor now

This.

Don't get complacent now.

Good luck