Do I hire a private investigator

tooldle

Apologies if I have missed it OP, but what reason did you give for being at the NEC? The reason I ask is that you do make mention of your insecurities becoming worse after the birth.

moneyistooshorttomention

Alikay wrote: »

Could he have a military background, past or present? It would explain the lack of a strong regional accent, frequent absences and maybe the keyring which sounds vaguely like a regimental badge. I believe Royal Signals Regt install phone masts etc, and ex military would be snapped up for contract work in that field.

That sounds a good thought to me.

None of my family (including myself) have accents - and it was a military family (ie my father was in the Forces when he met my mother and for many years afterwards and we got hauled round the world with him). With that - the other side to that is we are probably better at interpreting other peoples accents than many (as we've been exposed to a wide range of different ones and had to understand them all).

I recall one time where a man with a very strong indeed Northern accent came and talked to boyfriend-of-time and myself. My boyfriend couldn't understand a word he was saying. I understood every word and was the one holding the conversation with him.

That won't preclude having a few odd regional words (in his case "Mom"), as we might be used to using a few and/or find a word from our particular region seems to cover explaining something better than any other word we can think of. There can be other little regional clues. When referring to parents - its "Mum and Dad" or "Mother and Father" that is the normal way to say it. Where I am now - I notice that sometimes people refer to "Dad and Mum" sometimes, instead of the normal way round and I mentally translate the words into "Oh they mean - Mum and Dad".

valentina

Have a look at the logo of the round table, looks very similar to the key ring you describe.

74jax

Carlisle Round table information can be found here.

Address: Eden Round Table Carlisle CA3 1AA Meet time: 2/4 Thurs. 7.45 for 8.00pm - See more at: http://eden.roundtable.co.uk/#sthash.a6rKHvrg.dpuf

or

https://www.facebook.com/#!/Eden-Round-Table-446493802173462/ I think you will have to 'like' the facebook page to see more - whatever you do, don't 'like' it under your real name, ask a friend he doesn't know to do it for you.

I am from around that area and the FC is not big at all. it would depend on the angle of the photo but I think it might be possible to get blue/white/houses in the same shot.

Stevie_Palimo

I seriously feel that you going to give yourself a hell of a lot more heartache here by spending time, effort and expense looking into this individual and although being with someone for a long period of time would likely mean strong feelings/love for that person this is only going to end one way for you.


Are your family not advising you to move on and yes this may be hard to do but seriously even if you manage to track him down what do you want to achieve from seeing or meeting him again ? , I can see the money side from a child yes but as for anything else here it just puzzles me really as for someone to go missing here as described they obviously do not want to be found.


It is very easy these days to just up sticks and disappear so that people who you knew or loved have no idea where you are and more so given the details of the Facebook and so on that you have posted.


I think you need to sit back and realise that this is a complete waste of time, You may not like that but for me at least this is just a case of looking for a needle in a haystack.

moneyistooshorttomention

74jax wrote: »

Carlisle Round table information can be found here.

Address: Eden Round Table Carlisle CA3 1AA Meet time: 2/4 Thurs. 7.45 for 8.00pm - See more at: http://eden.roundtable.co.uk/#sthash.a6rKHvrg.dpuf

or

https://www.facebook.com/#!/Eden-Round-Table-446493802173462/ I think you will have to 'like' the facebook page to see more - whatever you do, don't 'like' it under your real name, ask a friend he doesn't know to do it for you.

I am from around that area and the FC is not big at all. it would depend on the angle of the photo but I think it might be possible to get blue/white/houses in the same shot.

I think we may have hit paydirt here between us:)

moneyistooshorttomention

Stevie_Palimo wrote: »

I seriously feel that you going to give yourself a hell of a lot more heartache here by spending time, effort and expense looking into this individual and although being with someone for a long period of time would likely mean strong feelings/love for that person this is only going to end one way for you.


Are your family not advising you to move on and yes this may be hard to do but seriously even if you manage to track him down what do you want to achieve from seeing or meeting him again ? , I can see the money side from a child yes but as for anything else here it just puzzles me really as for someone to go missing here as described they obviously do not want to be found.


It is very easy these days to just up sticks and disappear so that people who you knew or loved have no idea where you are and more so given the details of the Facebook and so on that you have posted.


I think you need to sit back and realise that this is a complete waste of time, You may not like that but for me at least this is just a case of looking for a needle in a haystack.

I've had a (much milder version) of this general scenario done on me. Hence why I tend to favour getting the explanation - even if you don't like it. That way = at least you know.

I saw the man concerned as "love of my life" type figure and, though he didn't physically disappear, things were very puzzling as to what exactly was going on.

I spent some time thinking "Something or other has gone wrong from his side and, if I give him a bit of time, then he will sort it out and All Will Be Good".

Daylight eventually dawned - when I saw the way someone closer to him was reacting in a most illogical way to me (ie for someone who didn't know me) and realised they had been told "a pack of lies" by him one way or another to a very different effect to the way I thought things were.

I was upset at the thought that this stranger clearly had totally the wrong idea about me and saw things very differently to the way they actually had been - but it told me a LOT about the man concerned that he'd obviously told such a pack of lies to this other person he knew about me and clearly convinced him of these lies at that.

It was as well I realised this - because I then saw things through a much less "romantic" light and realised Mr Potential Love Of Life was a weak/selfish/user - rather than some White Knight. I also clicked that the real nature of this guy was such that he had probably done the same to other women besides me and had always previously got away with it.

I'm glad I did find out enough about this guy eventually to be able to see him for what he is. I am annoyed with myself for not seeing through him much sooner than I did:o - but at least now I know and there aren't any romantic hankerings for "what could have been" any longer.

So - I still think OP must try and find him and will be glad she has at least tried. Actually I am now rating her chances as 50/50 that she will find him - and that's a good deal better than I rated them at the beginning of this thread.

Keeping_Motivated

Hi I have not had time to read all the other responses so this may have been suggested already but could you post his photo on Facebook asking for people to share and see if someone can give you his whereabouts? Your child deserves to know where his father is so I think people would help.
There is always the Daily Mail too I am sure they would love a story like this and that should push him out of the woodwork!

Alikay

Stevie_Palimo wrote: »

I seriously feel that you going to give yourself a hell of a lot more heartache here by spending time, effort and expense looking into this individual and although being with someone for a long period of time would likely mean strong feelings/love for that person this is only going to end one way for you.

The OP has a child with this man, though, and it is very likely that the child will want to know details of his father is when he grows up....pretty awful not to even have a name, let alone any details of his family set-up, medical history etc ( I speak as someone who didn't know my birth father either).

Trek_girl

Shelly193 wrote: »

No, it is nothing like that picture. If you think of a dart board without the red and green bits, and add a man holding a stave. You have what was on the keyring. I have looked, with various different search entries, but never found it.
This has consumed my life since he left. I have been prescribed medication to help me sleep. All the stress this has caused me, makes me unable to switch off at night. My mind constantly races in search of clues. He is probably swanning off with his other family living a happy life, unaware of what he has done to me.

Try this:

1. Draw the image as well as you can, A4 size.
2. Scan it into a computer and save the image.
3. Do a google image search using your image to find similar images.

That might get something. However do not put too much stock on it. It may be something like the logo of a band /concert something trivial. It may be that is where he and another partner he has had their first date or something and he keeps it as a romantic gesture to her scoring points in that relationship.

At places like the NEC often they give away all sorts of pens, USBs, key rings etc as promotional things. I have one from a jobs fair I went to. I don't work for that company, I just needed a key ring for the shed and garage doors, you see.