Do I hire a private investigator

Shelly193

The car was stopped on the motorway. I remember the policeman asking him to join him in the back of his car. The car is my only hope of finding him. It has to be registered to him under his real name. Or it would at least give me enough information to find him.
I know I am better off without him in my life, but I need to know the truth. He never took any money from me either, he always had money on him when he came back from work.

mgdavid

Shelley193, I know you are only able to get back on here once every 24 hours and there are many posts in that time - but can you try to answer the important questions people are asking?
Do you have any photos of him or the car?
Do you know or remember the registration?
On what date did you last see him?
Has he left any possessions at your place, anything at all?

Shelly193

My apologies for missing those questions. I am using my phone, and I can't go back when replying or I lose what I was typing. I have hundreds of pictures with him, none of the car and we do know the number plate.

danandjens_worldtravels

Its not anywhere near stalking, its trying to find someone who should have been man enough to tell the truth.

From your description of the key ring there are a few things you could do, put the description in google and look at images. From what you have put and from him being a football fan - this could fit (if the link doesn't work its Charlton Athletic Symbol)

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=charlton+athletic+symbols&client=safari&hl=en-gb&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAWoVChMInPDB96TDyAIVyYQNCh0oTgly&biw=1024&bih=672#hl=en-gb&tbm=isch&q=charlton+athletic+symbol&imgrc=jsTGF_4D5iVR9M%3A

It probably won't be this, but you could look at car manufacturer images online or football clubs, or if he had any other hobby or connection you can think of. It will be easy for you to recognise it if you see it but may take some time.

Do you have any old notebooks, diaries, bills etc that you may have scribbled details on as you were doing things, these may have a registration on or a name/date. It may be worth going through all that old paperwork and see what comes up.

I also would be careful about how much time and energy you allow this to take in your life. After a dedicated search (and no I wouldn't use a private detective as I personally would be reluctant to spend money to find him) you should put it aside and get on with your life. This could take over alot of your time and energy that will be better spent accepting you may never know and moving on. I suspect you already know this and that's why you are asking the question.

Shelly193

No, it is nothing like that picture. If you think of a dart board without the red and green bits, and add a man holding a stave. You have what was on the keyring. I have looked, with various different search entries, but never found it.
This has consumed my life since he left. I have been prescribed medication to help me sleep. All the stress this has caused me, makes me unable to switch off at night. My mind constantly races in search of clues. He is probably swanning off with his other family living a happy life, unaware of what he has done to me.

danandjens_worldtravels

I didn't think it would be that easy, and clearly you have searched. There may be some ideas on here you haven't thought of, but ultimately you have to take control of yourself, your thoughts and feelings again. Maybe for you its the PI, after which you can move on, maybe the PI is just keeping the pain and emotions on the surface.

Any break up is difficult, when someone has lied and you still don't know the truth is, I expect, really, really hard. BUT, you only have one life. Do not let this become all your life is about, do not let it consume you, like any ended relationship there has to come a time to let go! Accept you have no control over what he has chosen to do (and I suspect he knows exactly what this has caused, but is much to selfish to do anything about it) and take back control.

Some people find benefit from talking about it (with friends or a professional) or writing all those thoughts and feelings down, so you no longer have to be kept awake thinking about them. If they are written down you can give yourself a break from thinking about it without worrying you will forget something essential, and revisit it in a week or two. Gradually the time between re-reading and re-visiting those emotions will increase = moved on! :j

Plan a day out, have something to look forward to, just you and your son and enjoy the day.

Gingernutty

It sounds like a St. Christopher medallion.

Gingernutty

http://www.footballgroundguide.com/

Raine_E_Day

Shelly193 wrote: »

There is a couple of items we have not been able to link to anywhere in the country someone here might be able to help with. On his facebook he had a picture of him sat in a football stadium wearing a blue and white striped scarf, and the seats are blue with some white seats mixed in. It's only a small stadium. I can remember seeing houses to the right of the stand he was in.
.

I expect you've checked Carlisle, which fits description, although a close up shot of someone in stand would probably not include both white
seats and houses?
?

Alikay

Could he have a military background, past or present? It would explain the lack of a strong regional accent, frequent absences and maybe the keyring which sounds vaguely like a regimental badge. I believe Royal Signals Regt install phone masts etc, and ex military would be snapped up for contract work in that field.