Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay for the groom to eat and drink on his stag do?

gloriouslyhappy

When did weddings get so expensive and ridiculous? I think it's outrageous for the couple to plan events which cost the guests so much - we had a DIY wedding and requested 'no gifts but feel free to bring a bottle of bubbly to the party', which most people did. It was a fabulous, relaxed day with our nearest and dearest, and people still say it was one of the nicest weddings they've attended. Just say no to any events you can't afford / don't wish to attend, invite the couple out, buy a round and leave it at that!

newpuppy

LOL, you and your friend need to think ahead a little. This might be your last ever boys-only do. If she's calling the shots now, just imagine how much say your friend's going to have in the future :eek:

I would be tempted to walk away now - BOTH of you!

tain

Totally agree that the bride shouldn't have any involvement in the stag do at all, including costs.


However the stag do we recently had in the Isle of Wight (admittedly a ton cheaper than Berlin) we tried on insisting that we paid for the stag the entire way.


He's a top bloke though, and snuck in payments wherever he could, like paying for all the food shopping one day then refusing to let us pay him back, then getting in the first few rounds of drinks when we went to the pub.




But to answer you directly: Who cares what the bride is saying. Speak to your mate and see what he says. Once you're in Berlin, who pays for whatever (and I mean whatever) stays in Berlin.

GwylimT

When I have been on stag dos the stag has never had to pay for anything, it has all been split between those attending.

gerbs

Not a chance! Weddings and stags/hens are getting more expensive, but to be fair I've never heard of this before.

I've been on 8 stag dos over the last 5 years and this has never even been a conversation. Stag pays his way as do everyone else. I have noticed that if the stag do is abroad then often there is a 2nd one locally to allow people to attend if they couldn't make the other, which I don't have an issue with as long as people aren't pressured to spend more than they can afford.

tain

Something that hasn't been mentioned is how many people are going on the stag do.

If there's just 3 of you, then that's a ridiculous amount to have to shoulder for each of you.

If there's 30, then it's probably going to be next to nothing.

tain

And one last thing:


If it turns out you do have to pay for the stag, that does entitle you to make demands about what he is consuming. Which sounds like a whole lot of fun you could have.


Vindaloo for breakfast, his 'hotel' is him in just underpants in the filthiest hostel Berlin has to offer, Jager is all he can drink during dinner.

jamo76

I'm getting married next year and have a stag do planned, somewhere quite expensive. I would not dream of asking my mates to pay for me as we have flights and a hotel to pay for. They are already spending their money to come to my stag do themselves. I'd imagine I'll have a few drinks bought for me and so on, but I'd never ask them to pay for me.

I've also been on a lot of other stag weekends and I've only ever been asked to put something into a kitty or pot or something, to pay for drinks and even then, it hasn't all gone to the groom to be.

Clearly though this is not anything to do with the bride to be. I think someone spiced up the real dilemma to encourage some reaction to the fact she's apparently sticking her nose in. That isn't really the point now is it!

Rivermonster

Are you organising this as a surprise? If so, I can understand you paying for everything. However, if going to Berlin is his idea or if it is an option that was discussed with him then I frankly don't understand why you are paying for even the flights and hotel. Sounds like a bit of scrounger.

shuck

The deal for my stag do was that the others guys going pay for my food and drink whilst I'm there, but I pay for the travel and accommodation. It works well as there is a group of 8 of us, we all go on each others stag do and we all have the same arrangement.

As a few people have mentioned, the bride to be seems quite cheeky imposing her views on a stag party. If she can't leave this 'holy male event' to her hubby to sort, I wonder what she will be like once they are married!