People make rude comments to me because they think I am a young mother. How do I deal

lulu_92

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I was naturally very slim too, I very much doubt that was the main reason why people thought I was young though. People usually judge off the face how old they think a person is, not from the weight so much.

It's just the way you are coming across in this thread, as being as (if not more) judgemental than those judging you by saying that people who are overweight look older, and also looking down on teen mums.

I'm by no means slim and I get asked for ID to buy lottery tickets and paracetamol. (I am only 23 though.)

Person_one

coolcait wrote: »

Can everyone feel the love on this thread...?

Its funny, isn't it, how threads that are started so the OP can let everybody know how fantastic they are never seem to go well! :rotfl:

(If anybody cares, I probably look about 5-6 years older than I am, but I don't think it really matters.)

coolcait

Like so many of the threads which appear on this part of MSE - genuine or otherwise - the 'dilemmas' could easily be resolved by:


- learning to say 'No'; and/or
- learning to be assertive; and/or
- learning that you can't change the way other people act, but you can change the way that you react


There's a good chance that many of the people who are supposedly looking at the OP critically are actually staring into space lost in their own thoughts - wondering what to have for dinner; wishing that Alexander Skarsgard would invite them to a smorgasbord of delights; pondering buying some tarragon to make cheesecake; or asking themselves if anyone actually clicks on those links on Facebook which promise that 'one simple trick' will help you lose weight or wrinkles.


On the off-chance that they are in fact looking at the OP, they might be thinking "She looks very young and slim to be the mum of that child. I wonder if she's clicked on one of those links on Facebook?"


If anyone actually makes a comment about her youthful slimness, combined with motherhood, she could tell them that she's actually 75 (and the child is in her fifties), used to weigh 30 stone, but clicked on a couple of those links that you see on Facebook....


It's worth it to see the look of embarrassed confusion on their faces as they slink away. Entertaining too.

duchy

Petra_70 wrote: »

A grown woman - with children - in her own home - being asked 'is your mum home?'

Oh come on!!!

Women in their 30s being mistaken for a child?

Really???????

Just because it never happened to you eh ?

Do I think the OP is a bit paranoid - I didn't until she mentioned that her child's classmates are commenting. Frankly everyone over 16 is OLD to a child so I think you might be interpreting it wrongly - as no child ever thinks a Mum looks young - even if the Mum is a very young Mum . They might think you look pretty or trendy - but young - no kids don't think that way- old is every grown up !

duchy

Petra_70 wrote: »

OK then love. But I never accused anyone of lying love.

So wind yer neck in love.

All you need is Love............. Love......Love.......

Petra_70

duchy wrote: »

Just because it never happened to you eh ?

Do I think the OP is a bit paranoid - I didn't until she mentioned that her child's classmates are commenting. Frankly everyone over 16 is OLD to a child so I think you might be interpreting it wrongly - as no child ever thinks a Mum looks young - even if the Mum is a very young Mum . They might think you look pretty or trendy - but young - no kids don't think that way- old is every grown up !

You know what, you're absolutely right! :T

Funnily enough, when I was 33, and had been married for some years, and had a career, and my own home; I never WAS mistaken for a 15 year old and asked 'where's your mummy sweetie?' when I answered my front door!

Strange really, because it just happens to sooooo many people doesn't it? Being mistaken for a 15 year old when you're in your mid 30s, and asked where mummy is, when you answer the door to your own house! :rotfl:

I am guessing it never happened to me because like the vast majority of people, I looked no more than 5 - 6 years younger than my age in my mid 30s, and I still don't. Anyone who thinks they look a generation younger than they are is dillusional. Most people look their age, and nobody, I mean nobody, looks more than 7-8 years younger than their age.

Some of the things I am reading on this thread are beyond farcical.

coolcait

Petra_70 wrote: »

You know what, you're absolutely right! :T

Funnily enough, when I was 33, and had been married for some years, and had a career, and my own home; I never WAS mistaken for a 15 year old and asked 'where's your mummy sweetie?' when I answered my front door!


I have been asked "Is you mum in?" type questions when I was an adult - but I've always taken it as not-terribly-original banter. It's never crossed my mind that the people asking the question genuinely thought I was a teenager. On other occasions, the question "Is your mum in?" was perfectly relevant, as I was answering the door at her house!

Strange really, because it just happens to sooooo many people doesn't it? Being mistaken for a 15 year old when you're in your mid 30s, and asked where mummy is, when you answer the door to your own house! :rotfl:

Some of the things I am reading on this thread are beyond farcical.


To be fair, that hardly makes it unique on here.

10 characters

duchy

Petra_70 wrote: »

You know what, you're absolutely right! :T

Funnily enough, when I was 33, and had been married for some years, and had a career, and my own home; I never WAS mistaken for a 15 year old and asked 'where's your mummy sweetie?' when I answered my front door!

Strange really, because it just happens to sooooo many people doesn't it? Being mistaken for a 15 year old when you're in your mid 30s, and asked where mummy is, when you answer the door to your own house! :rotfl:

I am guessing it was because like the vast majority of women in their mid 30s, I looked no more than 5 - 6 years younger than my age!

Some of the things I am reading on this thread are beyond farcical.

It does happen - sometimes because people look young (my 24 year old son looks much younger it drives him nuts -as it did my brother and his Dad at the same age so it's in the genes) in other cases some people are just rubbish at judging ages ......and others think it's the greatest compliment you can give someone ...........so yes just because it hasn't happened to you there's no need to be bitter

Petra_70

duchy wrote: »

It does happen - sometimes because people look young (my 24 year old son looks much younger it drives him nuts -as it did my brother and his Dad at the same age so it's in the genes) in other cases some people are just rubbish at judging ages ......and others think it's the greatest compliment you can give someone ...........so yes just because it hasn't happened to you there's no need to be bitter

Nice try Duchy. :T And a typical response on this board towards someone who is negative about anything. 'You're bitter............. ' Better try harder next time; that is a very old, predictable and over-used insult.

I am hardly going to be bitter about people who are dillusional now am I dear?. :j

And does your 24 year old son who supposedly gets mistaken for younger get mistaken for 10 years old?

No, thought not.

He probably just gets mistaken for no more than 7 -8 years younger, which is what I said!

coolcait wrote: »

To be fair that hardly makes it unique on here.

LOL true.

Trek_girl

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

It is a compliment. Don't let the views of one person tell you otherwise. Don't let it stop you saying it to people in the future, it'll make someone's day.

TopQuark wrote: »

OP, it seems that the world (and the press in particular) feel it necessary and acceptable to judge mothers. Regardless of how old you are, whether you are fat, thin or in between, whether you stay at home or work... you will be judged. Fathers are spared this barrage of critism, which as a 'career woman' type in a heavily male dominated workplace, I find really frustrating. Being 34 and pregnant with my first child, I have often been told 'you're leaving it too late', 'you'll likely have a miscarriage as you're too old' and other such gems. I always managed a more cutting retort that shut them up toute de suite. You need to try and develop a thicker skin. Easier said than done, I know, but it's what you need to do.

I am so sorry you have had such awful things said to you. Out of curiosity what did you say in response? I can not believe someone would have the gall to say that to your face.