People make rude comments to me because they think I am a young mother. How do I deal

morocha

I just take it as a compliment... I had my daughter at 22.I do look young for my age but that is a plus for me.
I am 31 now and I am the youngest parent in my daughter's class. This is just because the rest of the parents are in their late 30 and 40...maybe this is the case in your daughter's class too ?
I also think kids have no idea about age, anybody who looks younger than their parents is wayyyy younger in their minds.

Trek_girl

@jrtfan and ben,
Thanks, I hear you.

I suppose I have been looking at it like an iceberg, that for every tutting old woman who says 'you are too young' there are dozens of others under the surface. Then when someone makes a comment about my age - which is impolite but not malicious- or even someone making ( Ill considered) conversation , I group them together with the horrible ones then they stop looking like a nasty minority and become a silent disapproving majority.

To all those saying it does not happen, read through the thread and note the corroborating experiences.

I will try to not allow the comments to affect me.

To the commenter above who said I was obsessing about teen mums, I was expressing my opinion when challenged by another poster. As I said everyone is entitled to make their own choices.

With the comment 'am I American?', you will see I wrote 'Teen mom' in quotation marks. It is a reality show. I have never watched it but the gist is clear and that's what I was making reference to.

double_mummy

i think the point that I was raising was that it seemed so offensive to you to even be thought of as a teen mum - i dont think i am the only teen mum on the site - just because it wasnt what you would do doesnt mean it is something that deserves to be look down on by you - i would never have kids in my 30s/40s that doesnt mean that i think negatively of people who do

Trek_girl

Goldiegirl wrote: »

I'd open the front door and people would ask if my mum was in, I'd be charged child fare on trains and buses, I'd go to attractions and they'd charge me half price.

This happens regularly. I will take on board what you have said about letting it go.

Trek_girl

double_mummy wrote: »

i think the point that I was raising was that it seemed so offensive to you to even be thought of as a teen mum - i dont think i am the only teen mum on the site - just because it wasnt what you would do doesnt mean it is something that deserves to be look down on by you - i would never have kids in my 30s/40s that doesnt mean that i think negatively of people who do

No my point was not that I was offended to be thought of as a teen mum,
I was offended at being told off for being a teen mum. As I have repeated, live and let live.

kelpie35

OP I would be so proud if I was in your position.

Slim, Young Looking etc.

If you are asked for ID in stores, take that as a compliment, I certainly would.

I think you are dwelling on this too much. As you say your child is now commenting on things that people are saying about you being so young.
If you keep dwelling on this and showing your child how upset these comments are making you, it will eventually affect your child, and I am sure that is the last thing you would want.

Walk about with your head held high, and enjoy life.

thistledome

Goldiegirl wrote: »

Just enjoy looking youthful. It won't last for ever and being mistaken for someone younger is a whole heap better than being mistaken for someone older!

Amen to that. I used to look really young and was asked for ID in an off-licence when I was well over 25 and I never found it insulting, quite the reverse. However, in the last 2 years I've suddenly got rather wrinkly and old looking. It's quite devastating and I'm not even particularly vain.

I'll admit I've said to people in the past that they look young to have children of such and such an age, but I thought it was a compliment. It never occurred to me that anyone would find it insulting - I'm mortified to think it might have offended anyone and I'll certainly never say it in future.

pollypenny

Oh, I forgotten about being asked if my mum or dad were in when someone called!

I confess to the crime of travelling for half of the bus for years, too!

Georgiegirl256

thistledome wrote: »

I'll admit I've said to people in the past that they look young to have children of such and such an age, but I thought it was a compliment. It never occurred to me that anyone would find it insulting - I'm mortified to think it might have offended anyone and I'll certainly never say it in future.

It is a compliment. Don't let the views of one person tell you otherwise. Don't let it stop you saying it to people in the future, it'll make someone's day.

Indie_Kid

kelpie35 wrote: »

If you are asked for ID in stores, take that as a compliment, I certainly would.

I was told to do this too. I think I've not been asked for ID for alcohol once. I'm 26.

I went to the cinema when I was 24 I think it was. I was sold a teen ticket.