People make rude comments to me because they think I am a young mother. How do I deal

gettingtheresometime

Could be worse you could be asked if you were the child's grandmother (as happened to one mother when my son was in junior school)

Personally don't see the problem

Georgiegirl256

Trek_girl wrote: »

My point is just that part of the reason people say they think I am young is because I am naturally very slim.

I was naturally very slim too, I very much doubt that was the main reason why people thought I was young though. People usually judge off the face how old they think a person is, not from the weight so much.

It's just the way you are coming across in this thread, as being as (if not more) judgemental than those judging you by saying that people who are overweight look older, and also looking down on teen mums.

FBaby

You're going to have to grow thicker skin if you are letting this bother. I would expect your situation is less insulting than when my mum was told a number of time that she was selfish to have had my sister at 42. She couldn't have cared less with what such people thought!

Petra_70

Trek_girl wrote: »

I am not suffering from paranoia. The comments are real and even my daughter now says her classmates asked her why her mum is so young.

Really??? :huh:

I just cannot understand this at all. I am just struggling to believe that kids at school would comment on their classmate's mother's age. They're other people's mums, and most kids wouldn't give a fig. All they care about is their video games, their phones, their fave band, getting new clothes and trainers, their fave tv programme....

I don't think I have ever known any young child say 'hey your mum looks dead young. ' :huh: Especially as, (as many have pointed out,) many mothers are very young these days, so a young looking mum is not rare.

Like I said earlier, I don't doubt you look younger than your age, but I doubt you look any younger than 5-7 years younger, even if you think you do.

There are an awful lot of people on here who look young for their age by the way.

I don't think I have seen a thread before with so many people who seemingly look way younger than they are.

gettingtheresometime

My MIL and SIL were both teen mums and you couldn't have asked to meet better mums

Georgiegirl256

Petra_70 wrote: »

Like I said earlier, I don't doubt you look younger than your age, but I doubt you look any younger than 5-7 years younger, even if you think you do.

There are an awful lot of people on here who look young for their age by the way.

I don't think I have seen a thread before with so many people who seemingly look way younger than they are.

Ok, I'll bite! Yes, I am one of those you has mentioned that they look young for their age. As long as I can remember, I've been ID'd for everything from booze to scratch cards, I've been asked if my parents are in when someone comes to my house. My parents have always looked young for their ages (a good decade younger infact), so really it's no surprise that the rest of the family do too.

I'm not in the habit of looking in the mirror and thinking "wow girl, you look soooo young, and neither am I in the habit of making things up, why would I?

As much as I don't like the way the OP has come across in this thread, I also well believe that she looks at least a good decade younger. It's quite common for someone in their early 30's to look late teens/early twenties. I don't know why you find that so hard to believe? Jealous by any chance? *most patronising smilie ever btw!*

Petra_70

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Ok, I'll bite! Yes, I am one of those you has mentioned that they look young for their age. As long as I can remember, I've been ID'd for everything from booze to scratch cards, I've been asked if my parents are in when someone comes to my house. My parents have always looked young for their ages (a good decade younger infact), so really it's no surprise that the rest of the family do too.

I'm not in the habit of looking in the mirror and thinking "wow girl, you look soooo young, and neither am I in the habit of making things up, why would I?

As much as I don't like the way the OP has come across in this thread, I also well believe that she looks at least a good decade younger. It's quite common for someone in their early 30's to look late teens/early twenties. I don't know why you find that so hard to believe? Jealous by any chance? *most patronising smilie ever btw!*

Ooops, I touched a raw nerve there I think.

Defensive much?

TopQuark

OP, it seems that the world (and the press in particular) feel it necessary and acceptable to judge mothers. Regardless of how old you are, whether you are fat, thin or in between, whether you stay at home or work... you will be judged. Fathers are spared this barrage of critism, which as a 'career woman' type in a heavily male dominated workplace, I find really frustrating. Being 34 and pregnant with my first child, I have often been told 'you're leaving it too late', 'you'll likely have a miscarriage as you're too old' and other such gems. I always managed a more cutting retort that shut them up toute de suite. You need to try and develop a thicker skin. Easier said than done, I know, but it's what you need to do.

Trek_girl

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

It is a compliment. Don't let the views of one person tell you otherwise. Don't let it stop you saying it to people in the future, it'll make someone's day.

Generally commenting on people's percieved ages is verging on rude territory. It is not a compliment to have someone say 'you are too young to be a mum, you should go and finish school'. I do not doubt that you have good intentions, but even saying things like 'you look so much better now that you have changed your hairstyle' can be taken as left handed complements. If you give such a compliment to someone who from being a teenager confused for a child, and a young woman confused for a teen, who has just been asked by the BT man 'is your mum at home' it is going to be irritating more than anything else.

Petra_70

A grown woman - with children - in her own home - being asked 'is your mum home?'

Oh come on!!!

Women in their 30s being mistaken for a child?

Really???????