People make rude comments to me because they think I am a young mother. How do I deal

Scarymary

Fat people can look younger too, I often get mistaken for been 10 years younger or more.

I had kids in my early twenties and get id regularly still at 33.

I've been to a&e with my eldest and he was asked is this your sister or mum.

Op could be worse imagine been an older mum in your 40's looking 10 years old and getting mistaken for Grandma all the time.

System

I had my first child in my teens, my last in my mid 30s. I'd rather have been classed as a young mum than an older Mum as i felt a bit isolated at the school gate.... Probably my own fault, i didnt want to hear the sound of gossip.

pollypenny

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Ok, I'll bite! Yes, I am one of those you has mentioned that they look young for their age. As long as I can remember, I've been ID'd for everything from booze to scratch cards, I've been asked if my parents are in when someone comes to my house. My parents have always looked young for their ages (a good decade younger infact), so really it's no surprise that the rest of the family do too.

I'm not in the habit of looking in the mirror and thinking "wow girl, you look soooo young, and neither am I in the habit of making things up, why would I?

As much as I don't like the way the OP has come across in this thread, I also well believe that she looks at least a good decade younger. It's quite common for someone in their early 30's to look late teens/early twenties. I don't know why you find that so hard to believe? Jealous by any chance? *most patronising smilie ever btw!*

I was one of those in my 30s, looking young.

However, I never saw it as a problem. I was usually amused, as I was when some pupils told me confidently that I was 42: 53 more like! :T

A more recent mistake was a couple of years ago at my mammogram, which I find agonising. The radiographer reassured me that it 'would be better after the menopause '

I snarled at her, in my agony, 'I'm 63!'

Trek_girl

I am not saying everyone is thinking 'she is 15'. I am saying the EXTREMES where strangers have to make snap judgements and err to the side of caution have led to them questioning if I am 16 (buying a knife in a supermarket ) .

After reading the responses I see that it comes down to two new questions. 'How do I develop a thicker skin?' is the first. This obviously involves being more comfortable in my own skin and secondly not paying heed to what strangers think.

The second question is what response to give them? I like the point one poster made that they do not tell them their age. Firstly, a stranger's age is none of their business (unless it is a shop/ bar ID context ). Secondly, why should their bigotry be indulged? Essentially I would be saying 'hang on, I'm not part of that group you are being judgemental about, let me quickly step out of your line of fire and you can carry on.' Someone who has taken their bigotry to the extent that they spew it at complete strangers, without context is a fool, and we all know what they say about debating with fools

pollypenny

You're over-thinking things, OP.

Georgiegirl256

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

I got ID for a scratchcard today, personally at 28 i shall take that as a win. Though it may have been the hello kitty backpack that threw them off (or the blue hair) :rotfl:

When I got ID'd for one, I didn't have any ID on me so they wouldn't let me buy it. The guy behind me then bought the same one I was going to get....I always wonder if that would have been a winner! :rotfl:

System

pollypenny wrote: »

You're over-thinking things, OP.

I agree.:)

Goldiegirl

Petra_70 wrote: »

You know what, you're absolutely right! :T

Funnily enough, when I was 33, and had been married for some years, and had a career, and my own home; I never WAS mistaken for a 15 year old and asked 'where's your mummy sweetie?' when I answered my front door!

Strange really, because it just happens to sooooo many people doesn't it? Being mistaken for a 15 year old when you're in your mid 30s, and asked where mummy is, when you answer the door to your own house! :rotfl:

I am guessing it never happened to me because like the vast majority of people, I looked no more than 5 - 6 years younger than my age in my mid 30s, and I still don't. Anyone who thinks they look a generation younger than they are is dillusional. Most people look their age, and nobody, I mean nobody, looks more than 7-8 years younger than their age.

Some of the things I am reading on this thread are beyond farcical.

I never went around thinking I looked younger than I was..... It was other people assuming I was younger than I was.

As I said previously, even when I was at work, dressed professionally in my suit, people still initially thought I was the work experience girl. Although they got over it, when I approved their mortgage application for them!

I've got no reason to lie about what I said, as I also went on to say that a few years ago at the age of 50 I was mistaken for a 'senior'. Unless you are saying I was having delusions about that as well?;)

Goldiegirl

Scarymary wrote: »

Fat people can look younger too, I often get mistaken for been 10 years younger or more.

I had kids in my early twenties and get id regularly still at 33.

I've been to a&e with my eldest and he was asked is this your sister or mum.

Op could be worse imagine been an older mum in your 40's looking 10 years old and getting mistaken for Grandma all the time.

I woman I've known for many years has always looked at least 20 years older than she was. A lot of it is to the way she dresses, in pleated skirts, twin set and pearls and she has tightly permed granny hair. She looked like this when I first knew her when she was 30, and people regularly thought she was her children's grandmother, even at that age.

I expect Petra 70 thinks that this story is delusional as well, but it is absolutely true.

Catwoman1975

Trek_girl wrote: »

The second question is what response to give them?

I make a joke when someone tells me I look too young to be my daughters mum. I say something like "Ah, thank you, but my birth certificate says otherwise".

I have noticed more comments now, than when I was younger. Fashions have changed and women having babies in their late 30s/40s is the norm, so finding a woman who is in her late 30s/40s with grown up children is less common and that's why people comment.

One of the advantages of getting older is that you care less about what people think. Treat everyone with respect and good humour, even those making comments, and you won't go far wrong.

Be happy about your choices, own them, and think of all the fun you will have in your 40s with no nappies to change or school run!