Who should pay?

mellymoo74

she wont say chelseablue, was asked earlier

Woolwich_Kim

Pollycat wrote: »

So you think/want her to accept some of the respnsibility despite the maority of replies saying the opposite?

Are you going to ask her to contribute something towards the tickets or just quietly seethe over it?

Saying what you would do in a similar situation is irrelevant. Everyone deals with issues differently.

But maybe she didn't want to give up her luxuries in order to save for this concert.
Did she actually say to you that she wanted to go? You don't mention this in any of your posts.

TBH, if one of my friends criticised me for what I spent my money on, I would be bloody furious.

You've already made this woman feel pretty bad about getting her dates mixed up, how much worse do you want her to feel?

Shouldn't she accept some responsibility, even acknowledge that this messy and unfortunate situation is mainly her fault?

Having seen some of your post and replies, I do not honestly believe you will just think 'its your problem even though I forgot - end of'.

She has mentioned years before she would love to go to a concert but firstly she can't afford and secondly her fave band (the only concert she would have wanted to go to) has disbanded and she doesn't like much else enough to want to go. At the time she didn't know they would reform to do a one off tour.

Anyway, she did say she will find someone else to go in her place so I've not yet started the process of selling them. I have not said anything to her to deliberately feel bad but by pointing out what the tickets was for and that I only brought myself a ticket to accompany her (which is true), she just feels bad about it anyway, wouldn't anyone? I know I would.

Pollycat

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

I'm in a bit of a dilemma here and want some advice over something that's happened with me and my best friend. I'll list the events in order.

I am wondering would it be right to ask her to pay back for both tickets and not just her own?

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

I think the best way forward (Independent of re-selling the tickets) is for her to pay me for MY loss which is the ticket that I had purchased for myself to accompany her (even though it's the same event and same price) and for me to accept that I had got her a ticket that is now useless to her and treat it like any other unwanted or useless gift. I will stick to just getting an actual physical gift from now.

You asked for advice in your original post but it seems clear (at least to me) that you have no intention of taking any advice offered.

I think what you really wanted was for all (or at least the majority) of posters to agree that your friend should pay so you would feel justified in your way of thinking.
But it hasn't worked out that way but you are going on regardless.

Georgiegirl256

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

I think the best way forward (Independent of re-selling the tickets) is for her to pay me for MY loss which is the ticket that I had purchased for myself to accompany her (even though it's the same event and same price) and for me to accept that I had got her a ticket that is now useless to her and treat it like any other unwanted or useless gift.

Wow, Wow and triple Wow! :eek: So basically you're asking her to pay her for her own gift?

I've had plenty of unwanted or useless (to me) gifts that I've either taken to the charity shop or regifted, but I've never been asked to pay for my own gift before!

I'm speechless....

[Deleted User]

'cannot afford' does not neccesarily mean 'don't have the money or means to get it'. It may often mean 'Cannot justify that amount of money on that purchase'.

I can't afford a Range Rover evoque. Sure, I could probably save a deposit up, then afford the monthly repayments; but I just couldn't justify the financial costs.

I've been to one concert at the O2. It cost me £70, and I paid for my father in law (Queen with Adam Lambert btw.. and yes, it did indeed rock). I can't justify to myself spending that sort of money unless it's something I really, really, really wanted.

Give you friend a break. You spent quite a lot of money on a present; more than I think is normal without discussing it I think. Sell the tickets. Relax

chelseablue

U2 are doing a few dates at the O2 in October, might be them.
Although I'm not sure if they've ever disbanded?

thriftylass

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

I think the best way forward (Independent of re-selling the tickets) is for her to pay me for MY loss which is the ticket that I had purchased for myself to accompany her (even though it's the same event and same price) and for me to accept that I had got her a ticket that is now useless to her and treat it like any other unwanted or useless gift. I will stick to just getting an actual physical gift from now.

Wow, really? It's not really YOUR loss unless she instructed you to buy tickets in her name with your money, which she didn't. YOU CHOSE to buy these tickets (doesn't matter that one was for you to accompany her, which was actually a really nice thought) to SUPRISE her. YOU spend £200 on a whim. In those regions I would have totally cleared i first unless it was for my husband or parents.

rockiedog

Or Cliff? I tried to get tickets to see him but only standing tix available now.

cyantist

katy721 wrote: »

My parents bought me and hubby a gift voucher for a weekend away for xmas last year. We aren't really in a position to go away for a weekend (baby on the way and cost of putting pets in kennels) and so the voucher is redundant as they only do exchange for other weekends away rather than refunds. My parents are aware we cant use it (and noone else we know can either), but that we appreciate the thought that went in to it. .

Why don't you sell it? I'm sure there's plenty of people who would happily pay for a discounted weekend away voucher. You won't get back what it cost but enough to easily cover a really nice day/night out that you can enjoy without worrying about any of the issues of a weekend away.

Woolwich_Kim

Pollycat wrote: »

You asked for advice in your original post but it seems clear (at least to me) that you have no intention of taking any advice offered.

I think what you really wanted was for all (or at least the majority) of posters to agree that your friend should pay so you would feel justified in your way of thinking.
But it hasn't worked out that way but you are going on regardless.

That isn't true as in my first post I mentioned I felt she should pay both tickets.

But after reading all replies (all, not just ones that are sympathetic to my point of view) I realise and agree she shouldn't pay for her own ticket as that is my gift to her and it'll be like any other useless/unwanted gift. I just think she should pay for mine even though its same thing.

I think this is the best way forward as I think this is the way to salvage our friendship. If she doesn't pay for half then I will resent her and hold a grudge. If she paid me 100% then she would resent me and hold a grudge so 50/50 is probably the fairest way.