Who should pay?

Wellyboots6

There may be room in her budget for her to save to go to a concert. If she wanted to! She obviously places higher priorities on other areas of her spending otherwise she may well have booked concert tickets herself. You did mention she has never been to a concert however, and so she obviously doesn't prioritize concert tickets over sky tv for example.

You cant really use your differing ideas of what is important to save for, to expect repayment for the tickets.

My parents bought me and hubby a gift voucher for a weekend away for xmas last year. We aren't really in a position to go away for a weekend (baby on the way and cost of putting pets in kennels) and so the voucher is redundant as they only do exchange for other weekends away rather than refunds. My parents are aware we cant use it (and noone else we know can either), but that we appreciate the thought that went in to it. They haven't expected us to repay the cost of the voucher, and we are in no financial position to do so as it is not an expense we expected.

I hope you find some way of resolving the situation, it sounds like you do both care about each other, just maybe have differing ideas on finances etc.

Jagraf

If this had been me, I would have laughed and said "you're hopeless, that's why I like you so much".

I would give her the two tickets to do with what she wants, tell her she owes you a drink if she manages to sell them, and forget it.

I wouldn't want her to feel guilty, or hand over any money. If you do that, your relationship will suffer.

You're no worse off.

Woolwich_Kim

Your reasoning for not using the weekend voucher is out of your control and your parents did not book them based on you agreeing to go on a certain date.

I think the best way forward (Independent of re-selling the tickets) is for her to pay me for MY loss which is the ticket that I had purchased for myself to accompany her (even though it's the same event and same price) and for me to accept that I had got her a ticket that is now useless to her and treat it like any other unwanted or useless gift. I will stick to just getting an actual physical gift from now.

jobbingmusician

I think you should have a think about what you are actually annoyed about.

You're not annoyed about missing the concert, because you don't like the band anyway.

You're NOT actually annoyed about losing out financially, because many people on here have pointed out that if you make the effort to sell the tickets, you can recoup probably all the money. There is actually no way your friend is responsible for costing you £200 - you claim to be annoyed about losing money but you don't know how much you have lost until you have sold the tickets.

You are perfectly within your rights to be annoyed that your friend is disorganised (but surely you knew that before?) and that you have the hassle of selling the tickets. But neither of these are major things, and surely not worth losing a friendship over.

What are you ACTUALLY annoyed about? I suspect that either your friend really can't be bothered to maintain a friendship with you, in which case you are annoyed about that, or that you are winding yourself up because your friend is disorganised.

Pollycat

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

However, this isn't an unwanted gift nor is this a situation where unforeseen circumstances or an emergency has taken place.

I acknowledge that this is my choice of a gift to her but I also think she should accept some responsibility for this loss too as she chose the date and forgotten that it clashes with a wedding. Truthfully, if it had been me I would be so sorry and offer half the money as I wouldn't think it's fair for my friend to be burdened with 100% of the loss due to my mistake.

So you think/want her to accept some of the respnsibility despite the maority of replies saying the opposite?

Are you going to ask her to contribute something towards the tickets or just quietly seethe over it?

Saying what you would do in a similar situation is irrelevant. Everyone deals with issues differently.

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

The point of me mentioning her luxuries was to point out there was room to save for things like go to a concert. It is up to everyone what they do with their own money but I don't understand why someone for example would buy a sports car and moan about the cost of petrol/insurance. Some may see this point as irrelevant, but I think naming the band is irrelevant.

But maybe she didn't want to give up her luxuries in order to save for this concert.
Did she actually say to you that she wanted to go? You don't mention this in any of your posts.

TBH, if one of my friends criticised me for what I spent my money on, I would be bloody furious.

You've already made this woman feel pretty bad about getting her dates mixed up, how much worse do you want her to feel?

Pollycat

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

I think the best way forward (Independent of re-selling the tickets) is for her to pay me for MY loss which is the ticket that I had purchased for myself to accompany her (even though it's the same event and same price) and for me to accept that I had got her a ticket that is now useless to her and treat it like any other unwanted or useless gift. I will stick to just getting an actual physical gift from now.

WOW! :eek:

Good luck with that.
And with finding another friend.

getmore4less

The crazy thing is that if she had realy wanted to see this misterious band she would have saved up.

Clearly concerts are not her thing and very low priority for her income.

The fact that you like concerts has clouded your thinking on what would be a good present for someone who clearly does not.

Woolwich_Kim

I am annoyed with her (my friend). For agreeing to a date and not double checking and/or forgetting that it clashes with a wedding that she is attending which in turn has cost me time and money (for my own ticket). This was completely avoidable and no she is not normally disorganised, she's usually more organised than me.

We all forget things and the roles could have easily been reversed but if I was in her shoes I would accept that it was booked based on my word and agreement to a specified date and offer half the money back before being asked to as I think that is the decent and moral thing to do. To a friend I would never take the attitude of 'oh well, my mistake but your loss/problem and tough s***'.

mellymoo74

it isnt her mistake though you didnt tell her what it was for you just asked her to save a date someone is getting married she needs to go to that.
I really dont understand why your taking it so personally

chelseablue

What band is it?