Who should pay?

whitewing

This was a present for her birthday and xmas. She can't go, which is a shame. Sell the tickets, if you want - someone else will probably be very grateful.

Don't 'charge' her but also don't buy her a replacement present, if you don't want to be bothered selling the tickets. You can still celebrate these occasions with her differently.

duchy

Not sure why you are so secretive about who the band is -but my bet is if you do a search on facebook you'll find there is a fan community for the band and a market to recoup your money.

You chose to make part of this event a secret -so you do bear some responsibility too. To ask for your good friend to pay doesn't sound much like friendship. Just sell the tickets and move on. It's only a drama if you choose to make it one.

The band may not be your choice - but people all have different tastes and there will be a home for those tickets somewhere. Who knows if you told us who it is- we might even know someone desperate for them

kerri_gt

Sell the tickets either locally via FB or something similar or via stubhub or the like, at that price I assume it's a well known band and they should sell relatively easily.

As the cats out of the bag how about suggesting to her if you can sell the tickets that you perhaps try and go a different night if you can get new tickets for the same price? Even at late notice via stub hub or similar.

Try advertising the tickets locally or on the band fab page asking for a swap. Obviously stay safe and don't hand tickets over for nothing without receiving replacement tickets at the same time, and ensure they aren't fake.

Sorry it's turned into such a palarva for you but well done on being such a lovely thoughtful friend.

PasturesNew

It's tricky - but "keep that date free for me" doesn't sound very important. A wedding would trump it - and she's already accepted that as she probably thinks your birthday treat would be some day out, with a picnic or a lunch somewhere.

She's got no inkling you've made special arrangements as a surprise. It's not wise to try to surprise people as they will let you down because they can't attach any importance to the note in their diary as you've not told them anything's out of the usual.

So, you need to pay - but I bet you can resell the tickets anyhow.

FBaby

I really feel for you. You wanted to surprise your friend who had never been to a concert, and that was a very thoughtful thing to do. I can see how you wanted to keep it a secret what it was all about, although I have to say, if she is such a fan, I would have thought she could have guessed what it was.

I can totally see how not considering how 'big' what you were doing on that day, she could have double booked, it is easy to do, although wrong.

Ultimately, the fault is her court. You've done everything right by her so the liability should be on her to sort it out. You need to tell her asap that it really was a present for her and that you really are not bothered to go, that the best way to go about it is to sell the tickets (much easier to sell two anyway), but that considering it was her mistake, she should be the one to make the effort to sell them.

If she was a good friend back, she should offer to pay you back the difference if she can't sell them for the full amount (or you never know, maybe she can make a profit and then take you out as an apology).

concernedandbemused

This was a lovely idea for your friend's birthday. However, there was always a possibility that one or both of you might not have been able to make it on the day for any number of reasons.

If I were you I would see it as my plans have gone awry and as it was my decision to spend money which would not be refunded I would not expect my friend to be responsible for sorting it out or to recompense me.

However if I were your friend I would be feeling awful about letting you down, that you had spent so much money and offer to try to help you get your money back because of the friendship not because it was my fault you could not get a refund.

I would tell your friend you will sell the tickets and leave it at that.

jetplane

I can see that you must be disappointed, it would have been a lovely surprise for her and it's lovely that you thought of this. Perhaps you should have been less vague about save the date if you could not afford to gift the money. I bought my brother a balloon ride, which in the end he could not use due to needing an operation. Yes I was peeved that the money was wasted but it was a gift.

This is a gift right? So if you had given her a different Birthday and Christmas present which you then noticed that she never used or did not like would you ask for your money back?

Can you really not sell the tickets and how much would you usually spend on presents for her? You could still give her the tickets for her birthday and Christmas, not that she could use them.

I think this is a different scenario from her agreeing to go to a concert and then letting you down, where you could ask for reimbursement.

bagpussbear

I can understand your frustration over this. You tried to do a nice thing for a good friend. But I don't think she should pay because she had no say about the gift or the price.

I go to a fair amount of gigs and I know some are tricky to sell on as you need to show ID for some of them. I would ring the ticket place and see if there is any way they can alter the tickets so you can sell them, even if you have to pay some sort of admin charge.

Pollycat

A number of posters have suggested selling the tickets. That seems an eminently sensible suggestion.

If this is a one-off gig by a band who split up some time ago, surely there is demand for the tickets?

I think you need to separate recouping your money for the 2 tickets and your feelings of being 'let down' by this friend.

Lunar_Eclipse

You can't ask or expect her to pay for either or both the tickets. This was a gift!

It's unfortunate she can't go and a shame you don't like the band.

Personally I'd sell both the tickets and move on.

Your friend is no doubt disappointed she can't go, but she is going to a wedding.

The concert was a lovely idea and money may be lost. But it is a sunk cost. Anything you get back is a bonus. Please don't cry over spilt milk.