Saying no to people

duchy

I'm so glad I work with grown ups not over grown children with massive insecurities.

In my job if you want a shift swap you ask -either the person says yes or no. Yes doesn't mean you have to have their babies for them and no doesn't mean they hate you and wouldn't cover a shift for you before hell froze over - Yes means yes and No means no . It's a decision they have made -if they can help out fine - if they can't I'll ask someone else but I won't assume they hate me nor will I assume there is more to "No I can't swop" and imagine scenarios involving the whys and wherefores of if the refusual was or imagining it was a slight.

Can you swop a shift with me ?

Answer No
"OK no problem I'll ask someone else

Answer Yes
"Thanks I appreciate it- Let me know if I can help you out another time you need a swop"

How difficult is it ?

FBaby

Not difficult at all when it is a process well-established and everyone knows each other quite well.

It's a different matter if say staff are normally quite flexible and helping each other, then a new staff comes. Ask first time, answer NO, fine. Ask a few weeks later, answer is NO. Oh ok then. Then they ask themselves, they don't tell you why they need it, but you say YES. Another week, later, you ask for the favour back and you get the usual NO.

Wouldn't there be a point by which you would start wondering whether they might have a good reason to say NO everytime or whether they were just taking the P...?

duchy

"When everyone knows each other well"

You don't need to know people well to be respectful of their choices.
In my own situation I work fixed (fairly anti-social) shifts. I work on a remote project -so most of the 200 strong project have never met as we all work from home. We don't know each other "well" in most cases -some people are chatty on our chat system and I know if they have a partner, kids etc -others I honestly know nothing about. All training is remote so we mostly never meet face to face. In seven years with the company I've met three of the current project.

We still manage to arrange shift swops without angst or offence (fairly often as the shift pattern includes weekend and shifts ending late at night so there's often a need to swop) -despite the fact that there's more scope for offence to be taken or misunderstandings with a pm message than a face to face conversation.

Like every workplace you know who is likely to be ameanable to a swop and who usually can't/won't -but that's fine - some people have committments or just like their routine. In reality if someone has covered a shift for me when they ask of course I'm more likely to agree than the person who can never help (my pattern isn't as antisocial as some of the newer people's so I have more scope to be able to swop and my partner also works weekends so swopping a weekday for a weekend shift often isn't a problem for me)-That is human nature and to a degree with shift swops you reap what you sow.