Saying no to people

Alter_ego

How about "Because I'm watching TV "

Guest101

ben_m_g wrote: »

Work wise, I appreciate at least a basic reason why a shift isn't covered.
Frankly I don't care what you are doing, but "no, because I don't want to" just screams non-team player.

I have had guys tell me in the past that they carn't do X,Y or Z because of family issues or that they are having people round or whatever, that's fine, but not wanting to support your boss / team because you can't be bothered is a bad sign.

And in return for this felxibility and support i presume the employee geting time and a half?

Thankfully I have a choice of bosses, I wouldnt choose your business if that was the attitude you had on flexible working.

Perhaps you should have arranged cover as part of an on-call arrangement? Or is poor management a trait that is easily avoided by claiming someone 'isnt a team player'

JasX

I never get this,

However I never give a simple 'no' answer I'll pretty much always tend to back it with something...

Even if it's as simple as I'm shattered after x, y & z this week already and need a quiet night. (or to make it to the gym or....)

Usually tho it'll be another clashing plan, or sharp opinion i'll have on the question which i'll being fairly direct with getting across exactly why i don't want to do whatever it is.

David301

The work reference was used as an example, but to further that line of thought, in her instance she takes most of the over time when it is available. But everyone has a right to decide that if they are not on the rota for whatever day and they don't want to take on the extra hours, they can enjoy that day off without explaining to others why they don't want to do something, other than paint their nails, and generally lounge around in the sunshine.

missbiggles1

"My hair doesn't wash itself, you know!"

amistupid

David301 wrote: »

When somebody asks you to do something, which you do not want to do, so your answer is no, why is the response from the original person "why not?"

The most extreme example of 'no' not being accepted is rape.

zagfles

FBaby wrote: »

Maybe because her boss is trying to gage how flexible she is to allow her to decide how valuable she is as an employee. So no I can't because no one else can look after the kids is likely to be different to because I don't want to. Of course it easy to lie but the question is often instinctive.

This reminds me of asking my son to film his sister and I for a couple of minutes attempting an activity. He blatantly responded no and when asked why became I don't want to. Fine but when he asked me to wait for him later as we were on our way somewhere I told him that I wasn't going to I didn't want to! I think he got the message!

Exactly. It's fair enough to say "no" without giving a reason, in whatever context, be it work or personal. But don't then whinge when others treat you the same way.

At work we're always swapping shifts, we don't involve management, we know what needs covering and if I want a shift off to eg watch the cricket, take my wife away for a few days etc, I'll just ask around. I know that people will only say no if they have a genuine reason eg they've got something planned.

Anyone who said no without giving a reason, or kept coming up with feeble excuses, would soon find it very difficult to swap any of their shifts

duchy

My boss once asked me to cover a shift- I said No I can't. He pushed it so I told him I'd be happy to cover it so long as the company paid my costs on changing my air ticket and rebooking- which would be around £300.
Strangely enough he decided I wasn't needed to cover it after all

I tend to sort my own shifts out - People tend to remember that you've helped them out in the past so will swop if they can when you need it.
If someone is always asking to swop but never offers when others need it I tend not to put myself out for them though.

duchy

David301 wrote: »

The work reference was used as an example, but to further that line of thought, in her instance she takes most of the over time when it is available. But everyone has a right to decide that if they are not on the rota for whatever day and they don't want to take on the extra hours, they can enjoy that day off without explaining to others why they don't want to do something, other than paint their nails, and generally lounge around in the sunshine.

In that instance - "Sorry i already have plans" is enough - whether those plans are away from home or to slump in front of the TV isn't anyone else's business and there is no need to explain further.

If I ask someone if they can swop a shift with me all I require is a simple yes or no- I don't need a convoluted explanation of why they can't. I certainly wouldn't see not giving a reason as cause to refuse them a swop on another occassion. A shift swop when all is said and done is a favour not a right -and no-one is owed an explanation for refusing.

David301

Ok another example of a situation because this is going too much towards work.

I own a shop, there is a toilet on the premises but it involves people or strangers walking into my house unattended if they were permitted to use it, which they aren't.

So when someone asks "can i use your bog" and i say "no sorry" then i have to go through the whole "why not" with them, which basically ends up with me trying to say in the nicest way possible "i don't trust you to be in my house unattended, it is also my home and i don't want you in it"

There are many scenarios with the no and why not,