Did you live with your husband/wife before marriage?

harrys_nan

I left home to live with my 1st husband for about 18 months before we married he was abusive and used to take other women back to our home when I was at work. I didn't live with my 2nd hubby and that marriage failed after 20 years of being together, think he got itchy feet, I now live with my 3rd and final partner and will never ever get married again.
!st relationship was late 60's, 2nd one was mid 70's and this one was 2007 after I had been on my own for about 12 years.

jayII

I'm mid forties and have never lived with a partner, including my husband before we married. I've simply never had any interest in 'just' living together with anyone.

I have lived with flat/housemates, but that is obviously different.

My friends lived with guys but it just wasn't for me.

ellay864

I'm 50, dated my now ex hubby in the 80s, moved in with him in '85. Most of my friends at that time were living with partners before marriage. Married in '89, split up in '99. Met current hubby in 2004 but didn't live together for 5 years, and then married another 2 years later

fabforty

I did and quite unusually for the time (early 60's) my parents did too - they also had one child and another on the way before they tied the knot, which again was very unusual.

GaleSF63

When I went to college in 1969 it was just starting to become sufficiently common not to raise too many eyebrows (it was London; maybe a bit ahead of other places though?).

I lived with my husband in the mid-eighties before we married - it was absolutely normal by then. (That was in Scotland)

By then, neither of my (divorced) parents were in a position to criticise! Though I'm not sure what they'd have said if I'd tried it in 1969.

KateBob

I lived with my OH for about a year before we married, we brought our house together 4 months before the wedding.

My parents married in 1971 and had already brought a house together, they spent nights there but didn't officially move in together until after the wedding.

I can understand your mums point of view as it was less common to live together before marriage when she was young but she must be aware its far more common now.

summerspring

Southernman wrote: »

the reason I ask is because my parents 'courted' in the 1980s and prior to marriage had not stayed over a single night at each other's houses. They married within 15 months of meeting.

My friends who also have parents in their late 50s, none of them lived together before marriage either.

Now as my boyfriend and I are looking to move in together, my mum is hesitant as I'm not engaged to him. I shouldn't just make it easy for him as he could get complacent.

So I'm more curious really. As a 26 year old it's not often that you hear of people my age not living together before marriage.

So my question is, what was your approach and if you could go back would you change anything?

To make a tongue in cheek analogy, she means that he's not going to bother buying a book if he can just borrow one from the library :rotfl:

My parents did not live together before marrying. This was the late 70s. Also they believed in marriage, till death do us part.

These days a marriage certificate is sadly seen by many as just a piece of paper, and the girls in particular just seem to want a nice lavish wedding. There is nothing wrong with being princess for a day, of course but there is a difference between a wedding and a marriage.

seven-day-weekend

Gavin83 wrote: »

I'd go as far as to say I wouldn't marry someone without having lived with them first. I also wouldn't marry someone without sleeping with them first either. On a third note I don't understand these relationships where people are planning their wedding within months of meeting. If these points work for others then great but it certainly isn't for me.

As I said above, we got married four months to the day after we met. We were 21 and 22, and just wanted to be legally bound to each other. We got married by special licence within a week of deciding to. We were both quite naive and immature, but grew wiser and more mature together. We are still happily married after 44 years,almost never argue and can't imagine our lives without the other one in it.

I would not recommend this way for everyone, but for us it was absolutely right and I'm glad we did it that way. Not a moment's regret.

System

My mum didn;t move in with my bio dad till after they'd married. They divorced when i was 2 so yeah..that went well. With my step dad they courted for a few years then i think he moved in and my sister was born not long after, they married when she was a year old. And are still together 24 years later.

I shared with an ex for 2 years, and that ended badly and we split, BUT i'm glad i lived with think as i realized what a horrible person he was and i'd hate to think i could have been married to him before realizing and escaping whilst i could still salvage my life. Due to having to live in a crappy bedsit after and being settled in a houseshare now i'm in no rush to live with anyone again, and wouldn't unless i felt it would be a long term thing, but i would want to love with someone before marrying them, for me it's a test, it either makes you or breaks you and if you can survive it then i think the marriage would work far better for me.

Andy_89

My Fianc! and I have been living together for just over a year, I think its essential as if can cause A LOT of issues if you spend all that money on a wedding only for you to be unable to live together.




We get married in 9 days!!!!!