Did you live with your husband/wife before marriage?

POPPYOSCAR

missbiggles1 wrote: »

For me, that's the difference between living together and being married - one's a commitment, the other isn't.

Not much of one when it is so easy to divorce and when many do.


You do not have to be married to be committed to each other.

GaleSF63

Living together (openly) before marriage isn't just a modern thing. I have a book called "My ancestor was a b-st--d" and it says that in some parts of early modern Britain (round about the 1700s I think),

"including the Isle of Portland, full-scale trial marriages were common; the couple being expected to marry as and when they wished to or if a pregnancy ensued, but also being free to separate and form new relationships without stigma."

(It's an interesting book!)

missbiggles1

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Not much of one when it is so easy to divorce and when many do.


You do not have to be married to be committed to each other.

I was making the point that you don't have to be committed to live together.

meritaten

When you do 'family history' its amazing how many men of very low working class status had 'housekeepers' back in the 20th or even 19th century! so living together is definitely not a new thing!

rachiibell

My parents are both 57 and they got married and then moved in together. My mum always says she would never have married my dad if she'd lived with him first but this year they celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary so make of that what you will :rotfl:

judyjetson

Might as well have done - if I wasn't at his, he was at mine. Mind you, we started going out in the January and were married in October the same year - and we've been married 23 years this year.

Southernman

marisco wrote: »

Is that how you really think your boyfriend could respond to starting to share his life and a home with you? If so do the guy a favour and be totally honest with him about the lack of trust and confidence you have in him. He is about to make a big commitment to you and deserves to know your true feelings.

Just to clarify, this is my mum's opinion not mine! I don't feel this way but my mum has old fashioned view points

BrassicWoman

I think it is very different now there is less stigma attached to "loose women" versus "studly men"

But most importantly women are now financially independent, so not reliant on their physical attributes and appeal to men in order to survive. In a more equal society why would they bother worrying what people thought about their virginity and purity? Which is essentially what the debate was about.

(add long rant about invented societal mores to keep women in their place, etc)

stir_crazy

We lived together a long time before getting married, which I think was better for us in the long run. One of the major contributing factors for us moving in together was that I still lived with my parents and he had a flat of his own. We then bought a house together before getting engaged.

ETA: I wasn't particularly interested in getting married before DH popped the question so we would have been living together regardless.

bugslet

I lived in sin with the late Mr Bugs for 21 years and never get married. It took him 7 years to get me to move in.

I'm not for rushing into things:rotfl: