Did you live with your husband/wife before marriage?

Southernman

the reason I ask is because my parents 'courted' in the 1980s and prior to marriage had not stayed over a single night at each other's houses. They married within 15 months of meeting.

My friends who also have parents in their late 50s, none of them lived together before marriage either.

Now as my boyfriend and I are looking to move in together, my mum is hesitant as I'm not engaged to him. I shouldn't just make it easy for him as he could get complacent.

So I'm more curious really. As a 26 year old it's not often that you hear of people my age not living together before marriage.

So my question is, what was your approach and if you could go back would you change anything?

missbiggles1

I'm 64 and lived with both my husbands before I married them (this was in the 80s). I don't know anybody who didn't.

I don't think I'd do anything differently, the first marriage would still've been a failure and the second one a success even if we hadn't lived together.

ETA

I should add that I've lived with other people without marrying them - now those would've been disastrous!

Goldiegirl

I met my husband in 1979, and married him in 1981.

We both lived with our parents. We did stay over at each other's house, but in separate rooms.

We got engaged, set a date for the wedding, and bought a house together and moved into the house when we got married.

It's just how it was in those days - it wasn't quite so common to live together before you got married

But these days, I think it's unusual if people DON'T live together before they marry, or move in together whether they are engaged or not.

I have no regrets about what I did - but if it was now, no doubt we'd just move in together, before we married. I don't think there's any necessity to be married or engaged before you live together.

You are 26, so you should know your own mind and whether it feels right to move in

I have to say, I find your mum's attitude quite old fashioned - I didn't know people still thought like that!

Spendless

Think that might depend on your local area and circle of people you know. I'm a bit younger than your parents, in my late 40s but in my relatives and friends, it wasn't unusual to marry straight from your parents home up until the early-ish 1990s. The last couples I remember doing this were married 92/93. After that it became more common to live together first and I don't know anyone after 1993 who hasn't lived together first. Me and husband were slightly different in that we both owned a property as we met and would stop at each others place. We only got rid of one house after we married.

Southernman

Don't worry my mum knows I have my own mind and will make my own choices!

For me my parents scenario is downright bizarre but they've been married almost 30 years now!

Faith177

Lived with my husband for nearly 3.5 years before we got married and I lived with 2 boyfriends before that one at 20 for just over a year and the other for nearly 2

My mum and dad were like yours but my mum was fine with me living with someone before marriage in fact when she moved to Scotland we rented the house from her

missbiggles1

Spendless wrote: »

Think that might depend on your local area and circle of people you know. I'm a bit younger than your parents, in my late 40s but in my relatives and friends, it wasn't unusual to marry straight from your parents home up until the early-ish 1990s. The last couples I remember doing this were married 92/93. After that it became more common to live together first and I don't know anyone after 1993 who hasn't lived together first. Me and husband were slightly different in that we both owned a property as we met and would stop at each others place. We only got rid of one house after we married.

And yet I don't know anybody of my age who didn't leave home before they married, even if it was just to go to university.

System

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I'm 64 and lived with both my husbands before I married them (this was in the 80s).

Ah the 80s Threesome heaven :rotfl:

nearlyrich

I moved in with my first husband before we were married but we had the wedding booked. Current hubby moved in with me and my 2 children we lived together for about 7 years before we married. It is the 31st anniversary of my 1st marriage today as it goes we lasted about 2 years. My DD was 28 recently she lives with her Fianc! they get married soon,

Buzzybee90

My parents and their friends didn't either, I do.

Jagraf

Yep I did in the 80s. Didn't help though, we still divorced. And yes dd with my now hubby.