Did you live with your husband/wife before marriage?

rach_k

I didn't live with OH before we got married. We met and married within a year, then I moved in with him. He lived 200 miles away from my home. Looking back it was kind of risky but we've been married 7 years now and are very happy so I'm glad we did it! OH's religious beliefs wouldn't have allowed living together before marriage although I would have been fine with it.

My Grandma always said that if she'd lived with my Grandad before they married, she'd never have married him. Quite disconcerting to hear! She was very in favour of living together first

catkins

No I didn't live with OH before we married (that was in 1980). We knew each other 5 months before we got married.


We had both lived with someone before although neither of us had any intention of marrying that person. We decided we wanted our relationship to be more special which, to us, meant not living together but getting married.


Wouldn't change it if we could go back in time.


I can see the sense in living together first but then, in some ways, the wedding is not so special. A few friends/work colleagues have said they expected to/wanted to feel different after the wedding (they were all living with their boyfriend/girlfriend) and were upset that wasn't the case

InsideInsurance

Its a combination of a generational/ cultural thing.

Mrs effectively moved in after 3 weeks of meeting, officially moved in after 5 months (finally unpacked the suitcase), engaged on our 1st anniversary of meeting and married on our 3rd anniversary of meeting (makes it simple only having 1 date to remember )

My ex and I never got married but spoke online for years and moved in together the day we met in person. Was living with her for 7 years.

Went to a colleagues wedding in Delhi, they both live/ work in the UK, but were under strict instructions not to let slip that they were already living together.

Similarly the Mrs living with me before we got married raised a few eyebrows with some back home who found out.

marleyboy

We are in our 40s, with a 5 Year old and still not married. Be that both our parents married before living together, divorced and re-married. I think any frowns would seem hypocritical if coming from our parents.

nanto3girls

We didn't live together before getting married. Got married and moved in together after courting for 2 years, that was 46 years ago.Do they still call it courting?

thriftylass

His mum wouldn't let us stay in the same room the first three times I stayed over. Once she knew it was serious we were allowed in the same room in their house. After a year I moved into his flat after my rental contract was up. We did everything the wrong way round, lol. Moved in together, stayed there 10 years, had a child, bought a house, got married. Ideally the last three I would have liked to do in reverse order, but that's life. Wouldn't change anything now.

My granny built a house with granpa, moved in and had a child and then sneaked off to get married so none of the neighbours would notice that they hadn't been already. That was in the 1930's, wonder what their parents thought....

fierystormcloud

Yes I did, for about one and a half to two years. Very important I think. I don't think you can know someone until you have lived with them - for at least a year.

PeonySugar

My mum and dad met and married in the 80's. My mums dad and step mum were incredibly strict. They bought a house 2 weeks before they got married, they spent the 2 days a week they were allowed to see each other trying to get the house liveable, got married and then they were able to move in together. They are still together now 31 years later

I am currently planning on getting a house with my boyfriend, but haven't told my parents yet as I'm terrified, I'm mid twenties. I think it's important for me and my wellbeing to know I can live with him and go through the ups and downs of life before committing the rest of my life to him and saying vows that I have no idea if I can keep or not. When I tried to talk to my mum about it theoretically, she said if you love someone enough you can make anything work... I'm too much of a worrier to go blind into something like that!

seven-day-weekend

I met my husband in June 1971 and got married in October 1971. We did not live together first. (We are still happily married ).


I don't know anyone else my age who lived together first (at that time, I do know some who have since remarried and lived together with that partner first).

I even know some young people who have married recently without living together first.

My son and his girlfriend have lived together for about eight years and have no plans to marry at the moment.

We are attending friends' wedding in August, they have been living together for over thirty years, and have children and grandchildren.:rotfl:

Gavin83

I'd go as far as to say I wouldn't marry someone without having lived with them first. I also wouldn't marry someone without sleeping with them first either. On a third note I don't understand these relationships where people are planning their wedding within months of meeting. If these points work for others then great but it certainly isn't for me.