Photos at funerals and Facebook

tara747

I would go f***king MENTAL if I were you. How dare she take photos - and put them on Facebook! Oh my goodness, I wouldn't be responsible for my actions.

My deepest condolences on the loss of your mum, my lovely xxx

Shelldean

I had photos taken at my Nan's funeral. Her elder sister couldn't attend due to distances and.illness. But wanted to see the flowers she'd sent.

I knew I'd be too distraught so arranged for my sis in law, husband's sister, to have my camera. I asked her for photos of the coffin arriving with the flowers. Plus some of the flowers after the service, when they are arranged in a covered walkway. None of the mourners just car with coffin and flowers at the beginning and then the flowers afterwards.

S-i-l was discreet, I don't even recall seeing her taking photos.

After th event, I printed out some for my great aunt and posted them to her, I then placed all the photos on a disc which stays with all my other photos discs.

The only photo ever used publicly is a flower arrangement spelling out Nan, I use it on Nan's birthday along with a nice poem.


I'm glad the photos were taken, as I really don't recall much of the event as I was.truly devastated by the loss of Nan.

So I think sometimes photography at a funeral is acceptable, but to plaster then all over Facebook...no no no NO.

FredG

I get annoyed with people ruining socials event with excess photo taking and Facebooking, if I saw that extended to a funeral I'd kick off majorly.

This constant need to be "connected" is disconnecting people from real experiences and basic manners.

DigForVictory

I'm very sorry for your loss - and want to shove your SIL into a recently dug grave.

People do behave differently online to in person - could you try asking this insensitive soul if she would please remove photos with you from her Fb feed as you do not want your grief to be on public display?

As for closing your mothers Fb account, try here? https://www.facebook.com/help/265593773453448

Mojisola

proffLucy wrote: »

I could "unfriend" her but then that makes it look like I'm the one being petty. She wouldn't care anyway, she has lots of other "friends"

But it would stop you getting upset at the things she posts.

Why would you want to look at her FB page after she has done this?

proffLucy

well ive logged into my mums face book. I guessed her password! There are some nice photos on there from a few years ago of birthdays etc.... I've private messaged them to myself.

I suppose if one good thing has come out of this, I have at least recovered those. x

apparently you can "memorialise" someone's facebook page. But I am not bothered about that, there's not much on there. I will just get it removed. There were a few private messages on there that people have sent in the last few months, not realising that mum couldn't use a computer anymore. I will take note of any important ones and let the friends know. e.g. one of my mums old colleagues.

Thanks for all the support so far it is much appreciated.

DKLS

Sadly I have been up to the local crematorium twice this week, I never even considered that someone would take photographs and then go on to post them online. There was clear signs and we were reminded that all mobiles should be switched off at the crematorium.

I would be beyond livid with that person and would cut them from my life without hesitation, I wouldn't want someone who treats the feelings of others with such disdain in my family.

LisaLou1982

proffLucy wrote: »

I could "unfriend" her but then that makes it look like I'm the one being petty. She wouldn't care anyway, she has lots of other "friends"

My colleague at work said there is a way of not blocking someone but not seeing what they post?

I think I'm on my own here in the family on this particular issue. But I will go to the ashes scattering tonight. Even though I will feel really uncomfortable.

My eldest brother is a busy guy and he doesn't have his own facebook account. he just lets her get on with it and humours/indulges her. He's a bit henpecked.

You can "unfollow" someone on facebook so that their posts wont come up unless you look on their profile x

stir_crazy

proffLucy wrote: »

well ive logged into my mums face book. I guessed her password! There are some nice photos on there from a few years ago of birthdays etc.... I've private messaged them to myself.

I suppose if one good thing has come out of this, I have at least recovered those. x

apparently you can "memorialise" someone's facebook page. But I am not bothered about that, there's not much on there. I will just get it removed. There were a few private messages on there that people have sent in the last few months, not realising that mum couldn't use a computer anymore. I will take note of any important ones and let the friends know. e.g. one of my mums old colleagues.

Thanks for all the support so far it is much appreciated.

You can deactivate your mum's account instantly in the account settings on facebook. I think it gets decativated for 30 days then deleted for good.

Vikipollard

How awful for you I'm in the WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER camp.


Personally I would speak directly to her tonight before the scattering of the ashes and request that if, for some bizarre reason, she just 'has' to photograph the moment, that she does not then ever post the pictures on FB as it is deeply disrespectful.


Really sorry for your loss - it's hard enough coming to terms with it without some jumped up dweeb needing to splatter private grief over social media.