Photos at funerals and Facebook

proffLucy

Well I've just found out that my other brother filmed the whole funeral! I didn't realise he was doing that.....apparently he has sent it to relatives in Australia...but thank god he must have done that privately. I only knowbecause there is another message on facebook from my uncle in Aus thanking my brother for doing it. So its no wonder brother number 2 isn't fussed about the photographs if he thought it was appropriate to film it :eek:

I know my sister in law and my eldest brother also took pictures and film of my mum on the day that she was dying. I thought at the time this was very disrespectful too as mum wasn't even aware what was going on around her. Thank God they haven't put that on facebook.

I know I'm angry and hurt and irrational. And I'm probably directing my anger at my SIL.

onlyroz

I can see how a handful of photos for private use, or to share with a few people unable to attend, might be OK. But to take 100s of pictues willy-nilly and share them with the world is absolutely not on. If you don't make this clear to your SIL then she will never learn to moderate her behaviour in the future.

nightsky224

I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through, its the last thing you need at this sensitive time.

I can't understand how she thought it was ok to take them let alone post them.

Gloomendoom

proffLucy wrote: »

Well I've just found out that my other brother filmed the whole funeral! I didn't realise he was doing that.....apparently he has sent it to relatives in Australia...but thank god he must have done that privately. I only knowbecause there is another message on facebook from my uncle in Aus thanking my brother for doing it. So its no wonder brother number 2 isn't fussed about the photographs if he thought it was appropriate to film it :eek:

Filming the funeral to share privately with distant relatives is not the same as taking hundreds of still photos and posting them on facebook.

*max*

proffLucy wrote: »

Well I've just found out that my other brother filmed the whole funeral! I didn't realise he was doing that.....apparently he has sent it to relatives in Australia...but thank god he must have done that privately. I only knowbecause there is another message on facebook from my uncle in Aus thanking my brother for doing it. So its no wonder brother number 2 isn't fussed about the photographs if he thought it was appropriate to film it :eek:

I know my sister in law and my eldest brother also took pictures and film of my mum on the day that she was dying. I thought at the time this was very disrespectful too as mum wasn't even aware what was going on around her. Thank God they haven't put that on facebook.

I know I'm angry and hurt and irrational. And I'm probably directing my anger at my SIL.

There are no words. Are these people mentally challenged?? I cannot believe ANYONE would think this is appropriate. !!!!!!??? This is beyond awful.

pink_petal

I've honestly never heard of anything so ridiculous. I am a bit obsessed with FB myself and I generally put up photos of everything but even I would NEVER even mention on FB that I'm at a funeral, never mind put up pictures!

Could you have a word with her at the scattering of the ashes and just ask her to please not take any photos and to remove the one of you from FB? I don't think that is an unreasonable request and unless she is completely selfish she will hopefully listen.

So sorry for your loss xx

proffLucy

I could "unfriend" her but then that makes it look like I'm the one being petty. She wouldn't care anyway, she has lots of other "friends"

My colleague at work said there is a way of not blocking someone but not seeing what they post?

I think I'm on my own here in the family on this particular issue. But I will go to the ashes scattering tonight. Even though I will feel really uncomfortable.

My eldest brother is a busy guy and he doesn't have his own facebook account. he just lets her get on with it and humours/indulges her. He's a bit henpecked.

System

Mojisola wrote: »

And for two reasons - one, that she was insensitive enough to take all the photos and two, that she didn't pull them off Facebook as soon as she knew the OP was upset by them.

She's not someone I'd want around me.

Exactly. If she wont take them down I'd ask Facebook to do it for you.

KateBob

I have nothing really to add as I wholeheartedly agree with the previous posters.
I tend to overshare on FB but wouldn't dream of taking photos at a funeral and certainly wouldn't post them on FB.


I just wanted to say how sorry I was for your loss.

Georgiegirl256

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Filming the funeral to share privately with distant relatives is not the same as taking hundreds of still photos and posting them on facebook.

Agreed. I think what the SIL has done is disgusting belong words. Filming it to share with distant relatives who couldn't be there is totally different and understandable. Some crematoriums actually do live link ups now like what they do at Weddings.