Having a baby aged 35 or over

candygirl

One of my friend s had her first baby at 41.she had been trying for ages, n had gone for fertility treatment.when they tested her pee, she found out she was pregnant:eek: it's worked out fab for us, as my DGD was born just after her Son , so we go out with the kids quite a bit

Crabapple

If you are not yet in a position to try then don't. Fertility declines as you age but doesn't all of a sudden drop off a cliff. If you have issues they may well be ones you would have had at any age.

I had my first child at 36 (got pregnant at 35 after about 11 months of trying), followed by an early miscarriage when I was 37, and now have a 1 year old born when I was 38. Both the full-term pregnancies went fine and there were no additional issues due to age. In the first I had extra tests due to my weight, but nothing second time as I was a bit thinner. I don't think the mc was anything to do with age, it's just one of the things that can happen. As awful as it was at the time, if I'd had that baby I wouldn't have the little boy I do have so I have to think things worked out as they should.

onlyroz

My mum had my brother age 32, then had a miscarriage, and then had me at 36. I had my kids at 25 and 29, got pregnant quickly and had mostly trouble-free pregnancies (there were complications due to my anti-d sensitisation but my daughter was born perfectly healthy despite the doctor's concerns that she could be born anaemic).

My brother and sister had IVF treatment, because my brother is infertile. They had one miscarriage and one successful treatment resulting in my niece who was born when SIL was 38. They have one more fertilised egg on ice which they are considering having another go with although they've been told that the chances of success with this are around the 25% mark.

Worry_Wart

I'm in a similar position. 35 with a boyfriend 5 years younger who doesn't feel ready yet for kids. I've only very recently decided I want them, so he has some catching up to do mentally. I've said we're going to start trying next year, and if that doesn't suit him, he has to move on.
In the meantime, I've just come off the pill and I'm trying to monitor my fertility. I'm going to go to a private clinic and have a fertility MOT to check my hormone levels and have an ultrasound to detect fibroids/PCOS etc, although I'm very fit and healthy so hoping all is okay. It would be reassuring to check though.

With regards to checking for downs etc once pregnant, there's a newish technique where a blood sample from the mother is taken around week 10 (with no potential harm to the foetus), and you can detect chromosome problems then (when it's still quite early so an elective abortion isn't too harrowing). It's called cell-free DNA check, and is available at some private clinics.

In the meantime as I've come off the pill, I'm leaving contraception up to my boyfriend, so we may have an accident sooner than planned anyway. That's what I'm hoping for

meer53

I had my second baby at 43. It wasn't planned that way, my first was born when i was 30 ! After having a section with my daughter (2nd baby) they discovered i'd had quite bad endometriosis so that sort of explained the gap !

I had the test for Downs, i chose a Chorionic Villus test rather then Amnio as i wanted to know quicker than 3 weeks. I found out 2 days later that my daughter was okay. They told me my risk was 1 in 17 so i really couldn't ignore that result. I did end up having a further 4 amnio tests but that was to do with problems with my blood, not my baby.

I have a friend who has a little girl with Downs, she was 29 when she was born. No tests, she found out when she was born.

For me, i wouldn't recommend having a baby at 43, or in your late 30's, if i had to choose, i'd complete my family before i was 30, but each to their own.

I love my daughter to bits, she's 14 now, but life would be so much easier for me if i wasn't 58 !

Northern78

We started trying when I was 31 took nearly two years to conceive our DS. Second one (DD) I was 35. Came off the pill in January and got pregnant in February.

Both were big babies and both were c section but neither had age related complications. DS was back to back and had cord round his neck and with DD I developed gestational diabetes but was told this wasn't due to my age.

Rachylou1981

Thank you all for your stories, it's certainly been interesting hearing them all

Rachylou1981

Worry_Wart wrote: »

I'm in a similar position. 35 with a boyfriend 5 years younger who doesn't feel ready yet for kids. I've only very recently decided I want them, so he has some catching up to do mentally. I've said we're going to start trying next year, and if that doesn't suit him, he has to move on.
In the meantime, I've just come off the pill and I'm trying to monitor my fertility. I'm going to go to a private clinic and have a fertility MOT to check my hormone levels and have an ultrasound to detect fibroids/PCOS etc, although I'm very fit and healthy so hoping all is okay. It would be reassuring to check though.

With regards to checking for downs etc once pregnant, there's a newish technique where a blood sample from the mother is taken around week 10 (with no potential harm to the foetus), and you can detect chromosome problems then (when it's still quite early so an elective abortion isn't too harrowing). It's called cell-free DNA check, and is available at some private clinics.

In the meantime as I've come off the pill, I'm leaving contraception up to my boyfriend, so we may have an accident sooner than planned anyway. That's what I'm hoping for

Do you mean that you will leave boyfriend if he doesn't come round to your way of thinking? :eek:

You're brave with the contraception issue, I just couldn't risk our relationship like that when I know my BF is less ready than me. We are very strong but a baby changes the dynamics in a relationship and when you are not ready then I think it's a recipe for disaster. That said, a lot of people get pregnant by accident and deal with it and are fine. After all, we know that each time we sleep together, there's a risk of making a baby

BargainJunky

I had my first son at the age of 35 we had been taking no precautions for just over 12 months when I fell pregnant. We wanted a second child and when my 39th birthday approached still nothing had happened so I resigned myself to my son being an only child. Fast forward 12 months to my 40th birthday and I was 24 weeks pregnant.

Both boys were fine - first was 9lb and second was 9lb 3oz. I enjoyed my first pregnancy but never thought a baby would be at the end of the 2nd one and I did find the 2nd one harder health wise.

In hindsight I would have liked them both earlier but as I didnt meet my husband until I was 32 it was a little difficult!

System

In an ideal world it would be great to have kids before 30, but seeing as i'm single and even if i did meet someone i wouldnt want to rush into it realistically i'm looking at my 30's at the earliest. My biological clock is ticking but there's nothing i can do abou t it