Having a baby aged 35 or over

Rachylou1981

2gorgeousgirls wrote: »

I have to say that while both births were not ideal, I would go through it all again to have my kids.

My only regret is that I didn't meet my husband until I was 30. I would much prefer to have had my children when I was younger.

I don't know if the complications above were age related. But I do remember my notes were labelled "geriatric" - not very nice!

Geriatric? Ouch!

I am in the same position with partner. I didn't meet my partner until I was 31 and he is 5 years younger than me.

dogcat_2

I had a child at 37 (not my first child, large age gap) and had no problems conceiving. I was told I was high risk, and they said the baby could possibly be Downs. I had lots of tests, they still told me, maybe I would have a child with imperfections because of my age.
I went ahead and had my baby, she was perfect...now 17 years old.

I got pregnant a few years later, and went on to have 3 miscarriages, one was twins.

I would say go for it.

Rachylou1981

j.e.j. wrote: »

She was told this by a doctor?? :eek:

:mad:

Sure was. We told her to complain to the Practice Manager. Totally inappropriate

Errata

How long did it take to conceive?

That depends not only on the female but also on the male. If a couple are leaving baby making until both are in their mid thirties it's a good idea to get daddy to be's swimmers tested to discover if they're olympic champs or just having an occasional bit of a paddle in the shallow end.

Rachylou1981

Thanks Codemonkey. I do worry that we may struggle to conceive and that the decision of starting at 36 may not necessarily mean we are lucky enough to conceive and have a child at that age. That's probably my main worry of the whole process, finding we have problems and time is not on our side, especially since we would like to have more than one. It's a bit of a gamble but isn't life all a gamble?

kingfisherblue

I know someone who had a daughter at 43, no problems as far as I am aware.


I conceived my son at 29, and he has Down's Syndrome. Although this is associated with older mothers (over 35), it can and does occur in younger mums as well. My friend was 23 when her first child was born. She has Down's. Someone living fairly locally to me was only 16 when her son was born with Down's. In our DS pre-school group, which we attended many years ago when my son was young, there were six children with DS. Only one mum was over 35 at the time of conception.


I know this isn't specifically what you were asking about, but hopefully it is of some interest.

Rachylou1981

Errata wrote: »

That depends not only on the female but also on the male. If a couple are leaving baby making until both are in their mid thirties it's a good idea to get daddy to be's swimmers tested to discover if they're olympic champs or just having an occasional bit of a paddle in the shallow end.

I will be late 30s but my partner will be early 30s. We probably are going to visit a doctor to discuss everything next year when I will be 35.

Rachylou1981

kingfisherblue wrote: »

I know someone who had a daughter at 43, no problems as far as I am aware.


I conceived my son at 29, and he has Down's Syndrome. Although this is associated with older mothers (over 35), it can and does occur in younger mums as well. My friend was 23 when her first child was born. She has Down's. Someone living fairly locally to me was only 16 when her son was born with Down's. In our DS pre-school group, which we attended many years ago when my son was young, there were six children with DS. Only one mum was over 35 at the time of conception.


I know this isn't specifically what you were asking about, but hopefully it is of some interest.

That's fine Kingfisher, I am aware that DS and other medical conditions are considered a higher possibility for older mums. I also know someone who has a daughter with Downs and she had her at 19. I read the stats go from 1 in 1200 to 1 in 700 at 35+ but not sure how accurate that is.

lostinrates

I was a second baby , conceived when my mother was well over forty, after a long gap. No problem with fertility. DH and his siblings were also conceived when their mother was in forties. No problem with fertility.

However, both DH and I feel that we would have wanted our children earlier as while we do not resent our parents being older its not the way we would have wanted to parent had we been able to have children ( I am infertile so the point is moot).

People stay a lot 'younger' at an older age now so maybe its a bit different, but its not the choice we would make. In our mid thirties now its another bridge cross for us in our acceptance point of childlessness as we are now beyond when we feel we would have wanted to conceive for us. .

Tbs, what we feel is right for us, is not something I think is right or wrong for other people, I don't criticise people for making other choices!

Rachylou1981

lostinrates wrote: »

I was a second baby , conceived when my mother was well over forty, after a long gap. No problem with fertility. DH and his siblings were also conceived when their mother was in forties. No problem with fertility.

However, both DH and I feel that we would have wanted our children earlier as while we do not resent our parents being older its not the way we would have wanted to parent had we been able to have children ( I am infertile so the point is moot).

People stay a lot 'younger' at an older age now so maybe its a bit different, but its not the choice we would make. In our mid thirties now its another bridge cross for us in our acceptance point of childlessness as we are now beyond when we feel we would have wanted to conceive for us. .

Tbs, what we feel is right for us, is not something I think is right or wrong for other people, I don't criticise people for making other choices!

I do agree. I wish I'd have had the choice to be a younger mum. My sister is late 30s and her children are in their teens now so they are becoming less reliant on her and she can now do more in life. However I have had a brilliant life in my 20s and have travelled the world, something she has not been able to do and probably never will. I don't particularly feel old now either but I am aware that I will likely be parenting teens in my 50s :eek: