sexless marriage :(

kezzygirl

op, as I read your posts my first thought was 'aspergers'...and then u said it yourself. Are you managing to hold down your job? do you have any difficulties in any other areas?


It may be worth seeking a referral to aspergers or mh services for assessment, they have skilled clinicians who will be able to provide support/advice for the issues u face. Also, please research antihistamine use and its effects on asthma.


I wish you well, u seem like a nice guy who genuinely doesn't realise he is at fault x

trollopscarletwoman

Missme wrote: »

OP, does your wife simply not enjoy sex or does she not enjoy sex with you? Are you making it worth her while, so to speak? Are you making sure she's satisfied?


If your wife just doesn't enjoy sex, however hard you try to please her, then, sorry to say, if you want to stay with her you're going to be virtually celibate.


Otherwise, I know I detest doing things that bring me no joy. And if there are other frustrating factors, they can all be rolled together into a massive amount of disappointment and resentment.


Try to woo her, make her laugh, make her feel desired and admired. Organise dates (and baby sitting), buy her a bar of her favourite chocolate, give her a quick squeeze and tell her you love her. Make her laugh, make her laugh, make her laugh.


Notice what she does around the house and do your share. Don't ask her where something is, know where you put it!

You've made me laugh with that post.

Many thanks.

tesuhoha

This reminds me of something that stuck in my mind. At the end of the film Captain Corelli's Mandolin the old man was complaining to the doctor that since he took the pea out of his ear he was no longer deaf and he could now hear his wife's nagging. He was very unhappy and begged the doctor to put the pea back into his ear.

The doctor answered - If you love your wife, my advice is, be nice to her. Bring in the wood before she asks you for it. If she is cold then put a shawl round her shoulders and bring her a flower every time you come back from the field.

Kind of sums it up really.

SingleSue

I don't know who Sheldon Cooper is either...off to Wiki to research!

Ah! Got it now, don't watch it so didn't know.

tesuhoha

SingleSue wrote: »

I don't know who Sheldon Cooper is either...off to Wiki to research!

Ah! Got it now, don't watch it so didn't know.

I too had to Google this.

itsanne

I don't think the OP is a troll or wind-up. I also think he has genuine problems, regardless of whether or not he has Aspergers as some have suggested.

I also think there are some very unkind posts when people cannot know he is not genuine. Some of you should really stop and think through what effect what you are saying could have if he is genuine.

geerex

Firstly, I GUARANTEE that if you were a woman, 99% of these comments would be "get rid of that loser".
Look, your wife isn't fulfilling her duties. Either ditch her, or if she's going to end up taking all of your money, get a tight wee thing on the side. Your wife isn't fulfilling her obligations, you have needs.

Guest101

geerex wrote: »

Firstly, I GUARANTEE that if you were a woman, 99% of these comments would be "get rid of that loser".
Look, your wife isn't fulfilling her duties. Either ditch her, or if she's going to end up taking all of your money, get a tight wee thing on the side. Your wife isn't fulfilling her obligations, you have needs.

The first sentence is soooo true on these forums.

dottymrsp

How did things go last night OP? (also, I'm sorry if I come across harsh - genuinely trying to help :-) but I lack tact at times)

j.e.j.

duchy wrote: »

And I think you are talking out of your bottom

It's rare adults choose to self label ASD -yes some parents may fall into the ASD/ADHD/ADD excuse with children but that is *entirely* different.

Living with a (diagnosed) aspie I see first hand how much he wants to fit in but struggles big time to do so and it causes him great unhappiness...... Aspergers and selfishness are two entirely different things, and only a cretin wouldn't be able to understand the difference. People like you with your airy dismissal of mental illness and neurological conditions seriously pee me off. Your ignorance is hardly an attractive quality. I see Silly Nose is agreeing with you - says it all really !!

Whoah! Since when did I dismiss people diagnosed with aspergers??

Unfortunately, though, there are people (usually adults) who like the label Aspie. Just read any of the 'middle class' newspapers, and you'll see for yourself. "I'm an Aspie, you know..." yeah yeah. It's similar to when it became fashionable to have a wheat allergy/ intolerance, - these things appear in the media and before you know it the worried well with far too much time on their hands are self-diagnosing (usually completely wrongly).

THAT is very different to someone with a diagnosed condition.