sexless marriage :(

seven-day-weekend

duchy wrote: »

I do think if you read back to your first post -you'll see you're now seeing the big picture (although I did groan that you needed a day of observing before you realized how much she does but at least day 2 you got on with it )

I do think you've picked up on some key areas - that your wife misses not work itself but the social contact that comes along with it. For a lot of women their work is a part of their identity and leaving work to be a SAHM (no matter how wonderful your child is) is a huge culture shock and there are a lot of people who see them as "only" a Mum too.

You however get the best of both worlds- you get to be a parent but also keep your identity - Maybe not fair but a lot of women do feel like this to a greater or lesser extent about their children's fathers and it can add to the pressure if other things aren't quite as good as they could be (and having a child adds pressure to most relationships anyway).

Have you and your wife talked about if she intends to be a SAHM for the foreseeable future or if she intends to return to work either full or part-time at some point ? Often it's not just about money. I was ready to return to part-time work when my son was ten months old- I wouldn't have wanted to go full-time at that point but three days (one a Saturday so covered by Dad) was ideal and I really did enjoy going back and reclaiming my (work) identity (and having an excuse to decline some of the Mummy coffee mornings with women who I had nothing in common with except our kids were the same age ). It was nice to have work to discuss with my husband again too .

Even if the intention was always she stayed home - it may not hurt to check now and again she still feels the same. Just a thought.

Does she take LO to any activities, Mum and toddler group, baby swim classes, tumbletime etc |? Good for both of them to socialise in the day.

I agree with this. I went to Uni when my son was just about to start school, couldn't wait tbh. I got fed up with just being seen as 'B's mummy', I wanted to be me again.