sexless marriage :(

duchy

Mojisola wrote: »

If the problem was Aspergers, he would always have been like this whereas his wife obviously thinks he was different previously.

Or having a child meant that with the change in the division of labour it heightened issues that were only minor irritations in the big (and still loved up) picture ?

toniq

dontwannabecelibate wrote: »

our child hasn't napped since they were 18 months old so with homeschooling and social activities she doesn't have any time without them to focus on the jobs.

Really you are homeschooling a 3.5 year old?

Also do you know how demanding a child of that age can be? They can be such hardwork and often wont back down from their point till it gets to the tearful stage.

I was awoken by my 3 year old at 2am on Wednesday, She refused to settle till 6am and we were up at 8am.

My fella when he returned from work dealt with the meal and toddler to give me some me time, He also dealt with her waking that night so I could get some sleep.

It's what you do when you live together, you help each other unconditionally.

Oh and no way is the Xboxone on in this house whilst toddler is awake, No chance.

supermassive

Why are fully grown men playing video games anyway? I could understand candycrush or something on your phone that passes the time during a commute or doctor's waiting time, but to invest such a huge sum of money into an electronic box that is 99% of the time detrimental to relationship communication and causes many arguements... it's ridiculous.

Perhaps adults with this penchant for playing video games shouldn't have moved out of mummy's house where they're free of responsibility to waste as much of their time as possible.

j.e.j.

supermassive wrote: »

Why are fully grown men playing video games anyway? I could understand candycrush or something on your phone that passes the time during a commute or doctor's waiting time, but to invest such a huge sum of money into an electronic box that is 99% of the time detrimental to relationship communication and causes many arguements... it's ridiculous.

Perhaps adults with this penchant for playing video games shouldn't have moved out of mummy's house where they're free of responsibility to waste as much of their time as possible.

I don't know if it's the games themselves that are the problem. It's selfish cretins who play on them to the exclusion of everything else, imo.

When we were kids dad used to have an Atari and he and us used to play space invaders and other games on it of an evening. It didn't affect mum and dad's relationship because he wasn't glued to it 24/7 and playing games on it was more of a family thing, not just a solitary activity. We just played it in our leisure time. He wasn't one for reading books, but he did like his 'video games' as they were back then.

Angry_Bear

supermassive wrote: »

Why are fully grown men playing video games anyway? I could understand candycrush or something on your phone that passes the time during a commute or doctor's waiting time, but to invest such a huge sum of money into an electronic box that is 99% of the time detrimental to relationship communication and causes many arguements... it's ridiculous.

Perhaps adults with this penchant for playing video games shouldn't have moved out of mummy's house where they're free of responsibility to waste as much of their time as possible.

Oh, for the love of stereotypes! I'm an adult woman and a gamer and I love my PC and console games - I think wasting time on mind-numbing stuff like Candy crush is insane, but each to their own.
It only becomes an issue if you let any hobby cause problems in another part of your life.

Mojisola

Angry_Bear wrote: »

It only becomes an issue if you let any hobby cause problems in another part of your life.

True - it would be just as bad if he had been reading a book or assembling the Taj Mahal out of matchsticks - it isn't the hobby itself that's the problem.

McCloud1

supermassive wrote: »

Why are fully grown men playing video games anyway? I could understand candycrush or something on your phone that passes the time during a commute or doctor's waiting time, but to invest such a huge sum of money into an electronic box that is 99% of the time detrimental to relationship communication and causes many arguements... it's ridiculous.

Perhaps adults with this penchant for playing video games shouldn't have moved out of mummy's house where they're free of responsibility to waste as much of their time as possible.

How is gaming any more of a waste of time than you commenting on a stranger's forum post at 3:35pm on a week day? Hardly optimal use of your time is it? It's okay to relax you know.

It's not just men who game either. The influx of women into gaming over the last decade has been phenomenal, this silly stereotype of what a gamer is needs to die. The female gamers I've interacted with really don't appreciate it either.

supermassive

McCloud1 wrote: »

How is gaming any more of a waste of time than you commenting on a stranger's forum post at 3:35pm on a week day? Hardly optimal use of your time is it? It's okay to relax you know.

It's not just men who game either. The influx of women into gaming over the last decade has been phenomenal, this silly stereotype of what a gamer is needs to die. The female gamers I've interacted with really don't appreciate it either.

I'm at work, commenting whilst speaking to customers on the phone. Multitasking, it's actually a very effective use of my time as it combines work and leisure.

The confusion I have over gaming culture isn't that it shouldn't happen - I used to play video games as a child, sometimes my dad would help me get to the next level if I had been stuck for a very long time.

The thing is... there's surely a point in your life where you pack away the games, think about life and kind of come to the realisation that (in the case of OP) you have a family to take care of that you're neglecting. Your free time isn't free, it's time you should be dedicating to your child and instead you're on a games console. Why? What enjoyment can you get out of a game that you can't get in real life? And if you can't get it from real life... why? There's surely something missing if you have to sink into virtual reality in order to 'relax'.

If you are still using gaming as an escape as a fully grown adult with much bigger issues at hand (OP) then there's something wired wrong.

Angry_Bear

supermassive wrote: »

The confusion I have over gaming culture isn't that it shouldn't happen -...

What enjoyment can you get out of a game that you can't get in real life?

From your description I can only assume that you have nothing that you do simply for fun. No hobbies, no interests, don't watch movies or read books, no pursuits outside your family.

That's very sad and (in my opinion) suggests that maybe you've got something wired wrong.

Quite simply, gaming is a hobby like any other, some people will get enjoyment out of it and some won't. As long as your life balance is right (work/hobbies/family) then who cares what you do to relax and unwind.

Tygermoth

I am a gamer, so is my OH.

We are a well adjusted fully functioning couple who respect and love each other.

The two are not mutually exclusive.

I am with Angry bear on this one.