sexless marriage :(

millysg1

Tygermoth wrote: »

I am a gamer, so is my OH.

We are a well adjusted fully functioning couple who respect and love each other.

The two are not mutually exclusive.

I am with Angry bear on this one.

I'm with you on this one. Everyone should have a hobby. 24/7 doesn't need to be dedicated to only family. As long as you are a good parent and spends quality time with them. There is nothing wrong with playing some games when the kids are in bed or out doing their own hobbies!

onomatopoeia99

supermassive wrote: »

Why are fully grown men playing video games anyway?

I imagine they have no better reason than the fully grown women that play them. As something to do in free time.

McCloud1

supermassive wrote: »

Why? What enjoyment can you get out of a game that you can't get in real life? And if you can't get it from real life... why? There's surely something missing if you have to sink into virtual reality in order to 'relax'.

You do realise that you are a relatively active member of a virtual community right...?

coolcait

MSE thread development

1) Create a new identity

2) Post about a sex-themed 'dilemma'

3) Carefully seed your posts with a selection of trigger points - e.g. lazy, unsupportive partner; selfish, obsessive gamer; allusions to behaviour which some might categorise as controlling or abusive

4) Don't overdo the trigger points. Alternatively, see how many you can fit in without toppling the thread. Either approach can be successful

5) Build up to a 'big reveal' moment. Timing is key, as the relevance of the 'reveal' to previous, or regular, topics on the board

6) Post the 'reveal'. e.g. "I've been told I might have Aspergers".

7) Allow the 'reveal' to split the discussion into at least two camps

8) Post again, to express your emotions on reactions to your situation. Again, timing, timing, timing.

9) See if the thread follows any of the other triggers you've put into your posts.

10) If it doesn't happen naturally, don't rule out the possibility of using another identity to nudge it in that direction.

Ten easy steps to an active thread which is not necessarily based on any significant level of veracity.

A cornerstone of the MSE canon.

Tropez

supermassive wrote: »

Why are fully grown men playing video games anyway?

Same reason people watch films, listen to music, read books, watch television, play sports etc. - for entertainment.

Yep, playing video games to excess and ignoring other responsibilities is detrimental and stupid, but then so is plonking in front of the TV for hours on end and not lifting a finger, or getting so wrapped up in a book that you ignore your family.

I play video games - probably 2-3 hours a week - a few more if I have some time off work and it doesn't coincide with my wife taking time off. Sometimes we play games together. It's a means of relaxing and having a bit of fun.

jenhug

valk_scot wrote: »

No, sell it, and any PC games and cancel any subscriptions to online gaming sites etc. Then hand the proceeds to her in cash and tell her to go and buy herself something, anything she likes. And don't even open your mouth to comment on what she does with the money unless it's a good comment.


Hand her the Sky and TV remotes and don't touch them again for a month. Make no comments on what she watches or any demands to choose what you want. You've had your turn with the remotes, now it's her's. Actually, scratch the month, it's her turn for the next 14 years, yes?


Secondly, get rid of that stupid wall list. Preferably having done every single chore on it first, then taking the board down the dump.


Go and clean the bathroom. Use elbow grease and a scrubbing brush and any detergent you can tolerate (you must be able to use shampoo or body wash presumably otherwise you'd have mentioned it.)


Do not fart again in her presence. If somehow you can't control your bowel sphincter at least 95% of the time you need to see the GP, you obviously have a medical problem.




There is more but that will do for a start.

Absolutely spot on on Val, as usual!

I think the relationship is far too fragile currently to try and force the pair of you out for a "romantic" meal.

Concentrate on the things she has mentioned in her letters, set daily reminders on your phone.

Good luck, I'm still really hoping you are a troll!

supermassive

I guess I'm in the minority then, with regards to gaming (although it's obviously going to be a minority on an online forum).

As for "I guess you do nothing purely for fun" I pretty much don't. Why waste time when there's only a limited amount of it? I'm only ever on here when I'm doing something else that doesn't require 100% of my attention (work, waiting for cooking to cook, washing to wash/dry etc)..

My "hobbies" are centered around goals.. I go to the gym to maintain a level of fitness and a body image that doesn't make me want to freefall from a tall building, I play various instruments so that I can work easily if I decide to go travelling again, and so that I can pass my skills on... I listen to music so I can learn more about the technicalities of music and try to decode their tricks to catchy hooks and melody, or to trick my brain into thinking I have more energy than I do at the gym...

So no, nothing recreational has to be completely pointless and "just for fun" as it's a waste of time.

Oh crap. :rotfl: I think I might have a problem. Or 2.

catoutthebag

I thought all marriages are sex less

:beer:

GwylimT

supermassive wrote: »

I'm at work, commenting whilst speaking to customers on the phone. Multitasking, it's actually a very effective use of my time as it combines work and leisure.

The confusion I have over gaming culture isn't that it shouldn't happen - I used to play video games as a child, sometimes my dad would help me get to the next level if I had been stuck for a very long time.

The thing is... there's surely a point in your life where you pack away the games, think about life and kind of come to the realisation that (in the case of OP) you have a family to take care of that you're neglecting. Your free time isn't free, it's time you should be dedicating to your child and instead you're on a games console. Why? What enjoyment can you get out of a game that you can't get in real life? And if you can't get it from real life... why? There's surely something missing if you have to sink into virtual reality in order to 'relax'.

If you are still using gaming as an escape as a fully grown adult with much bigger issues at hand (OP) then there's something wired wrong.

Playing a video game is no different to reading a book, using a different reality (a forum), watching films or television, they are all escapes from reality. So if someone playing a video game is neglecting their family so are those doing other activities as apparently parents don't have free time.

Morglin

The thing is with these games is that they seem a bit addictive.

Watching my teenage grandsons, over Christmas, it seems that the games sort of take over a bit - they shot off into seperate rooms to play their new games, straight after opening all their presents, sat transfixed, staring at screens, either shooting people or building football teams, argued bitterly over having to stop for Christmas dinner, and then shot off straight after dinner, to continue their games, which is a bit OTT.

Ok, daughter and SIL were having none of it, and made them stop, but sulking teens does not a jolly dinner make lol

The line between pretend scenarios, brilliant graphics, and real life seemed to get a little blurred..:eek:

Had they have just been reading a book, I am sure it wouldn't have caused stropping about having to stop, as it was apparantly essential not to interrupt their gaming! :whistle:

Social reports do suggest that gaming can cause problems in families, because they are addictive (to some), so perhaps it's an idea to have done self discipline if it is causing problems with a spouse or family life, and just limit it.

Lin