Wife's 30th birthday

heartbreak_star

Let her sulk.

If someone "demanded" a specific present from me, I would go out of my way to NOT buy it. (Disclaimer - there's a difference between asking nicely for an ideal present within affordability and demanding something ludicrous!)

Get her something nice, but affordable, that's not bag-shaped, and if she strops explain why and leave her to it.

(As an aside, £1,700?? My nice little car only cost £500 more than that!! *faints*)

HBS x

SanguineSteve

To avoid Birthday tears, bring it forward by explaining to her well in advance that you are not buying her a £1700 handbag. Don't let it it fester over until the day.

Jagraf

I get my handbags from the charity shop. Sometimes if they are branded they can cost £15 :eek:

You can go on a cruise for that amount if money, or buy a car. Slippery slope x

rpc

So she has issues with living beyond her means (having run up the debt) and wants expensive luxuries while your joint finances are in net debt.

That isn't how the world works and she doesn't seem to have learnt anything. I'd get her a blank SOA to fill in...

if I loved her I would buy it her

She's either a teenager or manipulative/borderline abusive.

margaretclare

Running_On_Empty wrote: »

Do not buy the bag. This is only the next 'thing' in a very long line of 'things' that you must buy her, stretching as far as the eye can see.
Sounds as if she has some sort of mental disorder that involves buying stuff that she thinks will make her feel better about herself.
Run a mile.

Couldn't agree more.

I believe that there is some sort of disorder along the lines you mention. The acquisition of 'things' that she believes she needs to make her feel happy. It's a sense of inadequacy, basically. A bit like comfort-eating.

If she is in debt to the extent that the OP says, her priority should be to get out of debt. That would mean, logically, buying nothing herself that she doesn't strictly need (cf Martin's dictum 'do I want it, do I need it, can I afford it?) And not to ask for expensive presents.

OP, do not do this. Draw a line in the sand and grow a backbone. Say 'no'. Because this will not make her happy. After this there'll be something else and it can't go on.

margaretclare

Jagraf wrote: »

I get my handbags from the charity shop. Sometimes if they are branded they can cost £15 :eek:

You can go on a cruise for that amount if money, or buy a car. Slippery slope x

Oh yes. DH is very good at this, either that or we have a very good local charity shop (Havens Hospices).

He got me a handbag from C Valentino and he didn't even know it was a 'designer' label, made in Italy. He also got an Armani jacket for himself.

cats2012

This is incredible. It's my husbands 30th next month and we have recently cleared all our debts so have a bit of spare cash, but there is absolutely no way I would spend anything like that on his birthday.

In fact, he said he wants a nice watch but when i asked him to compare some he was shocked at my budget around £300 as he had been thinking <£100!

She needs to learn the value of money, I get the impression she definitely hasn't yet.

Faith177

Crikey and I was annoyed at OH for buying me a £750 handbag for our anniversary lol (it went back to the shop btw if anyone is interested)

My 30th is next year and I would never dream of demanding something like that from my husband!

OP would agree with many of the other don't buy it you will be making a rod for your own back and the demands will just get higher

For my OH for his 30th I got him an engraved bottle of Crystal Skull vodka it was about £80 including p&p and engraving. It was the first thing I could put wife on as we got married 2 days before and he loved it and it has pride of place in our front room

mossstitchmama

Am I the only one who read this thread with the song "Everything she wants" by Wham going through my mind? Maybe I am showing my age.

Do not buy her the bag. She is taking the Mickey and will have something else expensive in her sights soon after. I afraid you may be in for a bumpy ride but rather now then when you have a family to pay for. She needs a reality check.

Fluff15

heartbreak_star wrote: »

(As an aside, £1,700?? My nice little car only cost £500 more than that!! *faints*)

HBS x

My car cost less than this handbag! :eek: