Wife's 30th birthday

[Deleted User]

I think i spent about that much on my wife's 30th birthday - but I chose to get her a diamond eternity ring and paid for all the drinks for everyone at a birthday party in a restaurant (And we had no debts other than a mortgage). I also wrote off my wife's credit card debts when getting our house so our CR would be better; but even though we keep our finances separate we consider it a 'family' pot and I would never expect to be paid back. She's not a very irresponsible spender - part of why i married her!

Money would never have been spent on an expensive handbag because my wife isn't bothered about designer stuff (she unfortunately does like diamonds)

You're going to have to a very frank discussion about debt with your wife (i'm sure you've had them before) and how you will not be buying her expensive designer items with no inherent value.

loveabargain13

Why does she need such an expensive handbag? When she's in debt... agree with goggle make an IOU card when she's debt free, you'll buy the bag.... in the sale ☺️

Joanthebone

Take one of the expensive ones out of the spare room, dust it off and wrap it up?

rainbowfairydust

purpleshoes wrote: »

Not a terry's chocolate orange.

Lily-Rose wrote: »

You took the words right out of my mouth!

:rotfl::rotfl:.

danandjens_worldtravels

If I ask about her paying her debts she won't tell me and it results in an argument. She hasn't repaid any of the money you loaned her, she lives for free AND she demands a £1700 handbag!!

In all seriousness go and check exactly what she has paid off because I think you'll discover if you're lucky it's zero and if most probably the debt has actually grown.

Sneak a peak at those bills or sit her down keep going past the tears and arguments (these are distractions to keep you from the truth) until you have answers.

Idiophreak

Personally, I think it's time to ditch the "her debt"..."my income" etc...you're married, !!!!!!...You're a couple.

Know the whole "what's mine is yours" thing...that kinda covers debt, as well as "your" precious savings...

So, it's time for you to *both* take control of your *joint* finances and get this sorted. As a couple, you having savings and her having debts makes little sense...It will be costing you money and keeping you further away from getting a mortgage in your own right.

Time to get a joint account, sort the household finances from there, give yourselves a set amount of pocket money to spend each month then throw whatever's left into her debt until it isn't there any more.

As a couple, you have a debt problem. Time to tackle it as a couple.

As for the handbag? Time to remind her you're her husband, not her baby sitter.

Running_On_Empty

Idiophreak wrote: »

Personally, I think it's time to ditch the "her debt"..."my income" etc...you're married, !!!!!!...You're a couple.

Know the whole "what's mine is yours" thing...that kinda covers debt, as well as "your" precious savings...

So, it's time for you to *both* take control of your *joint* finances and get this sorted. As a couple, you having savings and her having debts makes little sense...It will be costing you money and keeping you further away from getting a mortgage in your own right.

Time to get a joint account, sort the household finances from there, give yourselves a set amount of pocket money to spend each month then throw whatever's left into her debt until it isn't there any more.

As a couple, you have a debt problem. Time to tackle it as a couple.

As for the handbag? Time to remind her you're her husband, not her baby sitter.

Do NOT get a joint account with her, OP, you will live to regret it, that's if you can bear to stay with a self obsessed narcissist for much longer.

SanguineSteve

^She's got a terrible track record with her own money, why should he let her anywhere near his?

By the sounds of it, they'd be homeless by next xmas!

Idiophreak

Running_On_Empty wrote: »

Do NOT get a joint account with her, OP, you will live to regret it, that's if you can bear to stay with a self obsessed narcissist for much longer.

What does it matter?

If he ditches her, he'll have to pay (at least) half of her debt anyway. She'll take half of his savings....

You have to assume, finances aside, that the OP...you know...*likes* his wife and stuff...and would probably want to...you know...have a marriage, that kind of thing...

With that in mind, breaking down walls between their finances is probably more healthy than putting some new ones up....

System

How much? :eek:
Heres me thinking the £56 I paid for my one and only handbag was a lot!

She's spoilt and manipulative. You've landed a right one there.