Wife's 30th birthday

doinkthemonkee

PenguinOfDeath wrote: »

I'm fairly sure there's an obvious present idea here...

chocolate orange? :rotfl::rotfl:

maman

TBeckett100 wrote: »

Hmm.

Tough one.

If I am honest, I can't see this working out. If she emotionally blackmailing you and guilt tripping you into buying expensive items then I'm afraid you have two choices

1) you buy her the bag and it gathers dust. She'll be happy for a few days and then she'll want something else

2) you don't buy it for her and she throws a hissy

I suspect you should go with option 2. If she reacts badly then it may be time for you to consider if this girl is with you out of love or whether she values perception more

Truth is she isn't happy with her lot and wants to have something to show off. There may be trouble ahead

Is she actually reducing her debt or just spending it? May be time for a heart to heart to confront this issue. If she isn't paying down her debt and is watching you pay all the bills then she is taking the proverbial and you need to question whether she is committed to a secure future with you

My vote is definitely with Option 2. Explain to her patiently (as you would with any naughty, spoilt child) that you can't afford it because you spend your money on bills as she can't pull her weight financially because of debts. Tell her when the day comes that her debts are paid and she can share all the bills then things will be much rosier for both of you. The savings are for emergencies and Mulberry handbags (or birthdays) are not an emergency. So if she throws a tantrum, let her, I can't imagine her finding anyone to agree with her.

19lottie82

Just sit her down and tell her outright you can't afford the handbag.
Explain what your savings are for and suggest some situations which might wipe them out.

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying for one second you should entertain buying the bag but one thing that jumps out at me is, you've been married for 3.5 years yet you talk about money you lent her, money she "owes" you....... That seems a bit strange.

Maybe she is embarrassed about her debts. You say YOU pay for everything and she pays HER debts, you need to get to the bottom of this so you can share finances like a married couple should.

dirty_magic

19lottie82 wrote: »

Just sit her down and tell her outright you can't afford the handbag.
Explain what your savings are for and suggest some situations which might wipe them out.

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying for one second you should entertain buying the bag but one thing that jumps out at me is, you've been married for 3.5 years yet you talk about money you lent her, money she "owes" you....... That seems a bit strange.

Maybe she is embarrassed about her debts. You say YOU pay for everything and she pays HER debts, you need to get to the bottom of this so you can share finances like a married couple should.

If the debt is nothing to do with the OP then they are her debts whether they're married or not! If she spent the money she should pay it back, not rely on her husband who happens to be earning less than her to bail her out.

Stand up to her OP, tell her to contribute to the bills in future and she can forget about the bag. What a waste of money! If you don't stand up to her she'll never learn.

That said, I couldn't be with someone that useless with money because we just wouldn't be compatible at all.

tea_lover

I would splash out on divorce papers for her birthday - expensive but well worth it in the long run.

bluebeary

how much ? for a handbag ?


better last forever is all I can say, even if I was with a millionaire I wouldn't want a handbag that expensive


a nice day out, a spa or activity day at most would do me and im utterly spoiled from birth


£1,700 for a handbag that shell only use on special occasions if your lucky because she doesn't want to get dust on it, sod that lol

bluebeary

tea_lover wrote: »

I would splash out on divorce papers for her birthday - expensive but well worth it in the long run.

run being the operative word here

goggle

Mrs: "If you loved me you would buy me the handbag"
Mr: "If you loved me, you'd respect me and the fact that I am doing my best to provide for this family on a very limited income, by getting a handle on those debts and being honest about it. When your debt is clear I'll buy you the handbag!"

VestanPance

I think you need to grow a pair. Time to let princess know that you receive presents, not demand them. A life lesson most learn in their childhood.

I'd recommend buying her a very long romantic walk for one off a very short pier.

Caroline_a

Maybe sell the two she already has? Then you can get her a few chocolate oranges....