Brother in Law is Upset with Us

purpleshoes_2

rainbowfairydust wrote: »

I have to say i would be offended, and very upset if a close relative gave me a re-gifted chocolate orange for a present.

I would have bought/made a nice card for him, and then say to me i am sorry we have no money at all currently, but would love to take you out for a meal/do something at this time when we have more money to spare.

Why couldnt you have made him a cake or something? Again for me this would have lessened the "blow". I know its not about how much you spend but come on - you have made ZERO effort for him.

Probably because that would mean spending money on the ingredients.

:rotfl:

Faith177

OP not being funny but it's not like his birthday was a surprise bill you couldn't prepare for you have had a year since his last one and you must know his age by now and failing that your OH must have know

Even if you had put away 50p a week between you, you would have had £26 to get him something really nice and thoughtful

It's admiral that you have saved hard to buy your home but re-gifting a chocolate orange because money is tight is a joke and no wonder your bil is miffed

My mum turned 50 6 weeks before my wedding and my OH turned 30 2 days after but I made sure I saved a seperate pot of money so they could both have a lovely birthday despite me getting married

On a side note if I received a chocolate orange off of someone OH would get it a fricking loath chocolate orange YUCK!

lostinrates

Andypandyboy wrote: »

This thread reminds me of what my son witnessed over Xmas from a friend. They were playing pool as a group and one of them (all in their late 20's with good jobs) had chewing gum, another lad asked for a piece, and was told "sorry, but I am saving for a house so I am not giving anything away at the moment" and he didn't!

There is careful and there is tight......

That's......awful.

When DH was doing his law exams we had a party and invited a group over asking every one to bring something to contribute to the meat offering ( thinking that most people would bring enough for themselves and someone else at least, for variety....and people did this and then some) we''d light a barbecue....and we did salads, some meats drinks etc. and stuff. one but went on and on and on about the award winning sausages he was bringing. He brought three of them.....and his girlfriend. When were at from others who came to that small party they still mention those sausages! :rotfl: I don't know why he didn't bring half a dozen. Although it would have doubled his cost, the cost to his reputation among his peers, at a key time of life and networking, was immeasurable.

Fwiw, while all students and saving, he and my DH were better financially placed than many but not all the others.

missprice

Like Xmas, a birthday is the same date every year. Even if you have a lot of birthdays to buy for, you can budget for them all over a year and not have to regift one choc orange.

I have no money spare at all, but still managed to get my OH and son something to open on the day. Which is this month (can't January birthdays be banned please )
I haven't spent a fortune but neither have I regifted.

And its not like I am spending nearly the same as OH spent on my birthday but I know damm well he will be overjoyed as I put serious thought into it. Next year is a big 0 birthday for him and I am already trying to win/saving up some to give him a big present.

PenguinOfDeath

:idea:

OP is actually a Terry's employee and started the thread to get thousands talking about and craving chocolate oranges to boost post-Christmas sales.


What do I win?

supermassive

I can barely afford my own life, but still managed to get other people presents for xmas, so I think a chocolate orange regifted is awful.

Your OH has had 30 years to prepare for his brother's 30th Birthday. No excuse at all.

"We saved for a house but in the process were disowned by everyone we know because we have been tightwads that can't put the effort in for other people" is basically what you'll be saying in about a year.

littlegreenparrot

I understand completely why he's miffed.
I got really annoyed with a brother last Christmas when I was given a child's hat. I'm in my 30's and have no children. Nothing says 'last minute dash round supermarket' more clearly. I felt like he had never even met me. The previous year he had made a big box of lovely biscuits for us all to share. That showed a lot more effort and care.

A good gift is not about the expense, its the time/thought/effort that illustrate how someone care's for you. Have a chat with him and ask what he'd like, offer to include him in a family treat day out/cinema trip. Explain just before the day that your a bit skint, but would be delighted to host dinner in the new house when its done. For years I've had a 'voucher' system with a baby sibling, he gets to redeem it against an outing of his choice when something comes up he likes. Spreads the cost, and he loves it. My point is there are a lot more options than a last minute re-gift.

BakerBoy

I bought a chocolate orange in Poundland recently. I love a chocolate orange. Would be well miffed if it was all I'd got from my brother for my 30th though.

In my 20s me and my mates would take turns in hosting NYE, all chipping in toward the cost. When it was my turn, being in the wine trade and a keen cook, I bought a load of Champagne at cost and cooked some really lovely stuff. My girlfriend at the time begged me to invite one of her friends and OH as they had nowhere better to go, I reluctantly agreed. On the night I told everyone that it was £15 each. Friend's OH coughed up for himself but she said she would send me a chq. A week later she did, for £5, as the party 'wasn't worth £15'.

She never got invited back. Buy him something now, be nice, I'm sure he will be in return and it will all be forgotten.

Cloudydaze

I didn't get presents from either of my brothers for my 30th and we're all quite close.

I'm so glad I come from a family where we don't measure our love for each other by the value of the gifts we give.

toniq

Op sorry you had a hard time and people dredged all your posting history up, No need for it, you asked for advice on this issue and didn't need all that.

Maybe get your little one to do a nice pic of uncle and get a cheap frame, that type of thing goes down well and has something nice about it, all personal and unique and something to treasure and can cost pennies to do.