Brother in Law is Upset with Us

Contains_Mild_Peril

Tbh I don't really understand the posts saying that a chocolate orange is worse than nothing at all (even if the recipient likes chocolate oranges). I don't even understand why a poster thinks a Brut aftershave set is a better gift: both are pretty generic but surely chocolate oranges are more popular? And isn't Brut is even more likely to look like a regift if you're known to be skint? All the chocolate oranges I've ever been given have been welcome, and my family would rather receive extremely cheap gifts from one another than feel that any of us were under pressure to spend more than we could afford.
It also wouldn't even occur to me to check the best-before date: chocolate oranges do not survive long enough in my house for short dates to be an issue!
That said, perhaps something a bit more personal would have been nicer, like maybe getting a print of a family photo (or maybe a baby photo and a recent one of him side by side) and putting it in a cheap frame, or even just making a fancy border for it and attaching a calendar tab to the bottom.
Fredula, if it's not clear whether BIL expected his mum to say anything about their conversation to you or your hubby then it's probably best all round to pretend she didn't. ETA: just read this...

Ah, yes, maybe a bit too late. I've messaged him on facebook apologising and explained the reasoning behind it (and admitted it was regifted, but was hubby's idea to regift it)

oops
If you should find yourselves more financially stable next year, maybe you and hubby could get him something a bit special as consolation for giving him such a cheapskate 30th birthday pressie?

Damn, this thread has given me a craving for chocolate orange but I don't have any :-(

Fredula

I polished mine off with a cup of tea, just before starting this thread.

Thanks for all your opinions guys. It's late, bedtime for me! Night

McKneff

I haven't read all but a couple of post s at the beginning.


A chuffin Chocolate Orange ......
I would be telling you where to put it, one segment at a time.. Don't forget to bang it on the table a couple of times, the Chocolate Orange that is......

purpleshoes_2

If the OP can bake cakes, which she clearly can as there's a pic of one on her blog which is linked to her account on here, a home made cake would have been an idea. A nice, thoughtful, low cost, frugal, but not as tight as a duck backside idea.

Maybe next year.

notanewuser

Contains_Mild_Peril wrote: »

Damn, this thread has given me a craving for chocolate orange but I don't have any :-(

There's one from the xmas before last in my fridge. When's your next significant birthday?

Lily-Rose_3

Contains_Mild_Peril wrote: »

Tbh I don't really understand the posts saying that a chocolate orange is worse than nothing at all (even if the recipient likes chocolate oranges). I don't even understand why a poster thinks a Brut aftershave set is a better gift: both are pretty generic but surely chocolate oranges are more popular? And isn't Brut is even more likely to look like a regift if you're known to be skint? All the chocolate oranges I've ever been given have been welcome, and my family would rather receive extremely cheap gifts from one another than feel that any of us were under pressure to spend more than we could afford.
It also wouldn't even occur to me to check the best-before date: chocolate oranges do not survive long enough in my house for short dates to be an issue!
That said, perhaps something a bit more personal would have been nicer, like maybe getting a print of a family photo (or maybe a baby photo and a recent one of him side by side) and putting it in a cheap frame, or even just making a fancy border for it and attaching a calendar tab to the bottom.
Fredula, if it's not clear whether BIL expected his mum to say anything about their conversation to you or your hubby then it's probably best all round to pretend she didn't. ETA: just read this... oops
If you should find yourselves more financially stable next year, maybe you and hubby could get him something a bit special as consolation for giving him such a cheapskate 30th birthday pressie?

Damn, this thread has given me a craving for chocolate orange but I don't have any :-(

This ^^^

I think it was a little bit tight fisted, but often people will give a low priced gift when they are short of money. So I thought the BIL's whinges were unnecessary.

And quite honestly, I have had times when someone has given me a gift that was clearly less than a fiver, maybe only three quid, and I am usually grateful. I don't get gifts off many people, so I am usually glad to get anything.

Maybe some people are harder to please than others, and expect more from people. Some need more expensive material goods to please them, and others are happy with anything the person giving can afford, and gracious in their acceptance, and don't go off on one like a child if their gift was not fancy and expensive.

I think if someone I knew was very vocal about how they thought their friend or relative had not spent enough on them, my opinion of that person would drop, and I would think a lot less of them!

Contains_Mild_Peril

notanewuser wrote: »

There's one from the xmas before last in my fridge. When's your next significant birthday?

All my birthdays are significant
I'm already 40

System

A second hand terrys chocolate orange is a bit stingy...

..but if someone got me one and it was a popping candy one all would be forgiven.

Actually i can't really be harsh to the OP as tonight i regifted some Lindt chocolate to my best friends. I hate the stuff and my mum bought me 2 boxes for xmas, luckily my friends love the stuff :whistle:

purpleshoes_2

Lily-Rose wrote: »

This ^^^

I think it was a little bit tight fisted, but often people will give a low priced gift when they are short of money. So I thought the BIL's whinges were unnecessary.

And quite honestly, I have had times when someone has given me a gift that was clearly less than a fiver, maybe only three quid, and I am usually grateful. I don't get gifts off many people, so I am usually glad to get anything.

Maybe some people are harder to please than others, and expect more from people. Some need more expensive material goods to please them, and others are happy with anything the person giving can afford, and gracious in their acceptance, and don't go off on one like a child if their gift was not fancy and expensive.

I think if someone I knew was very vocal about how they thought their friend or relative had not spent enough on them, my opinion of that person would drop, and I would think a lot less of them!

We don't know if he went off on one to be fair. He could have mentioned it and said he wasn't happy that he got a short dated choc orange.

Also, about affordability, as has already been said, the OP and her husband were saving 900 pounds per month not that long before the birthday. Plenty of time to put £5 or £10 away.

He may have made a fuss about it. But this just screams tight fisted. Not thrifty, not frugal, not skint but thoughtful. It screams tight and couldn't care less.

If the OP and her husband don't like parting with cash, even £2-3 for a gift thats not a choc orange, it really isn't a good sign.

There have been times where Ive had very little to spend on friend's presents. Ive always made effort with the present no matter how little I had to spend.

Giving a choc orange on someone's 30th birthday is thoughtless and ridiculous, but worse when you couldn't even bother to buy it.

I could understand it if her and her husband were on their uppers, but they clearly aren't.

Callie22

notanewuser wrote: »

There's one from the xmas before last in my fridge. When's your next significant birthday?

I've got half a dozen of the damn things sitting in my kitchen. There's only one kind of chocolate that I cannot eat because it brings me out in a rash and makes my lips swell, and it's chocolate oranges. So what did a visiting relative give me for Christmas? Five of them. And what was our Christmas 'gift' from work? Another sodding chocolate orange. I ended up spending most of Christmas making polite excuses as to why I wasn't eating them, as my mum said it would upset the relative if I explained that I was allergic. I'll have to keep taking them back into work to get rid of them ...