Debt busting into 2015, but not beyond!

PiggyBankShaker

It's hump day and I have officially got 'the hump'. I'm fed up, miserable, frustrated and angry at the world. The worst thing is I know I *shouldn't* feel like this, there are lots and lots of positives; financial and home things are getting better all the time; ATS and I are working together more productively; the kids are healthy and happy.

BUT... work is really bringing me down. I fed up 'wasting' 2hr40mins of each day commuting to sit at a desk for 7/8 hours. I don't feel I've got any time to properly look after myself; I don't have enough time to give to the kids. I feel trapped and resentful. I feel like my vitality is slipping away. I know I could give up work, but we don't have the stability. It was only a few months back that ATS employer made a whole bunch of people redundant. If there's another contraction, it could be him and he wouldn't be able to get a job that pays as well as this one does.

I feel a bit like there must be a secret, a way to find balance and harmony between all the competing demands and 'wants' but that I just don't know what it is. I worry that one day either me or ATS or one of the kids will get seriously ill or die and then I'll hate myself for having wasted so much time. I know I'm not expressing this very well.

PiggyBankShaker

To do list

[STRIKE]Reclaim chirocpractor costs[/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]Veg shopping in Tesco[/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]Get ClubCard points added[/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]Set up internet banking[/STRIKE]
Post Pension forms off

PiggyBankShaker

Feeling a bit better and more positive today, not much, but a bit - which is enough. So I'm in work, a few hours to get through and then 3 days off. No great plans for the weekend, except some drinks with colleagues tomorrow night.

The first batch of 4 eBay items I listed the other day have a lot of interest; 3 have sold, 1 has lots of watchers but no bids yet. The other 2 I added have no watchers yet, I'll probably end up relisting them at a cheaper price. If they don't sell a second time they can go to a charity shop.

The new budget is going REALLY well. I know it is only 5 days in but it is really helping me change how I think about money, which is really important I think.

Dobbibill

Aw PBS - didn't see your update yesterday but I'm glad you are feeling a little more positive today.

5 days into the new budget means you have been sticking to it for almost a week. Before you know it, it will be 2 weeks, then a month, then just the norm and you will forget you ever did anything different.

Keep up the good work

DB

PiggyBankShaker

Money = GOOD

We overpaid the mortgage by over £5000 and also put another £5000 into savings. We paid off the loan for our kitchen, which was £4000. 'Other' debts are running at about £3000 and didn't decreases due to making minimum payments if 0%. We made our savings work as hard as they could by getting about £30 a month via a Santander 123 account. Altogether we made an extra £1700 through selling stuff, interest mystery shopping and apps.

Work = GOOD
I'm putting this as 'good' for the simple fact that I managed to stay in my job for a whole year even though I came within a day of handing in my notice on two occasions. I have to regularly remind myself that I have a decent job that pays reasonably well and that has sufficient flexibility to accommodate my occasional ill health.

Home = FAIR
We didn't do any home improvements projects in 2015. We oscillated between keeping on top of the chaos and failing to keep on top of the chaos.

Health = FAIR
I had a period of time off work due to anxiety and feel like the rest of the year was quite up and down. I had counselling in the beginning of the year and experienced a 'breakthrough' of sorts, but I feel there is still a lot of progress to be made in this area.

Family = FAIR / GOOD
The kids continue to be a source of great inspiration and joy to me. They never fail to amaze me with their clever and funny ways. School is going well for them both and they continue to be healthy and happy.
DH and I have had our ups and downs. But we are both trying to work on some of the issues that we have identified as causing conflict in our relationship. I am both scared and optimistic that this are will improve.
My Dad was diagnosed with cancer, but he is having treatment and seems well in himself. My mother had pneumonia and was in and out of hospital for a while and it was a very worrying time, but she recovered and is now back to her normal self.

Other = FAIR
I January I set the wheels in motion to go to France to work for seven months starting in September. It was something I had wanted to do for a while and I swung between looking forward to it and being scared by all the things that could go wrong. In the end the rational side of me won, and on the whole I don't regret the decision not to go especially when we found out about my Dad's diagnosis. I channelled the energy into some other projects, like writing a novel and planning house refurbishment for 2016. Only time will tell if I am brave enough to make the most of the next opportunity that comes along.
We had two amazing holidays. A long camping trip in the summer and a short trip to Hamburg at Christmas. They were both excellent and we have happy memories of those.


So I'd give 2015 a score of 6.5 out of 10.

NoOneAround

Hi PBS,
I love your summary and review of the past year. I'm sorry to hear about your dad and I hope the treatment continues to go well, and glad that you mum has recovered. Sounds like you have some good projects going despite your own health issues and a lovely family.

I hope that 2016 is a great year for you, on all fronts

NOA
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