Christmas festivities...

victory

Bonkers:eek: can no one get together closer to cut one trip/visit out say like two sets of them to be down the pub at the same time or sets of them to go to the same house so inside the house is more than just one visit/trip's worth?

I mean, how you even agreed to do all that :rotfl::D

Pollycat

I think you're planning far too much.

supermassive wrote: »

Is there a way to please everyone (they're demanding this schedule, and as we don't have kids - too many men in the relationship - we are obliged to stick to it)...

Maybe you should practice saying 'no'.

Why do you have to go back to your Mum's just because your partner's family go to the pub?
Why can't you stay in the house until they come home?

Why do you have to visit your Dad's family if you've seen them the day before?
Why do you think you need to see everybody on Christmas Day?

You're not actually obliged to do anything.
Why do you allow people to demand that you have to do this?

It might be a bit late to rearrange for this year, but I would be setting people's expectations about just how much running around I'm willing to do next year.

lostinrates

supermassive wrote: »

I'll be proposing at the strike of midnight as eve becomes 25th, I think

Propose before Christmas. People will be more forgiving of you 'wanting time to your selves' for some reason even though you've been living together.

Also, should anything ever go wrong, Christmas isn't always a bit spoilt by the memory AND if it all goes right you have another day to celebrate in the year.....and taking a day out in the mad run up to hyped fury where it seems many fall out, to celebrate your love for each other , would seem good future planning for a relationship.

supermassive

Pollycat wrote: »

I think you're planning far too much.


Maybe you should practice saying 'no'.

Why do you have to go back to your Mum's just because your partner's family go to the pub?
Why can't you stay in the house until they come home?

Why do you have to visit your Dad's family if you've seen them the day before?
Why do you think you need to see everybody on Christmas Day?

You're not actually obliged to do anything.
Why do you allow people to demand that you have to do this?

It might be a bit late to rearrange for this year, but I would be setting people's expectations about just how much running around I'm willing to do next year.

MIL is pretty much MIL from hell She's nice enough if she's getting her own way, but she's overbaring and pretty much a control freak. She still drives OH to and from hospital for scans etc and demands his medical post is delivered to her house so she can check to see if he's dying :rotfl: Bless her, she's had a historectomy in the last few years so I think she's clinging on for dear life to anything she's given birth to.

She won't let her 22 year old daughter move out because it's "too soon" despite the fact that the daughter is a fully independent working woman that pays her own way :rotfl:

And as for the others - I need to be there at my mum's because my younger brother has me and.. well... that's it. He's my favourite, really.

As for the rest... I have to be at my dad's because that's generally where the atmosphere is nice, the people are nice, everyone's relatively normal and there's a great likelyhood that he'll "accidentally" drink one glass too many and we'll get to watch him do the "mr soft" walk all day. :rotfl:

I might just send OH to do my Xmas greetings and stay home with the dog, who, to be honest, I love more than any of that lot!

Pollycat

I don't actually think you're looking for advice.

supermassive wrote: »

MIL is pretty much MIL from hell She's nice enough if she's getting her own way, but she's overbaring and pretty much a control freak. She still drives OH to and from hospital for scans etc and demands his medical post is delivered to her house so she can check to see if he's dying :rotfl: Bless her, she's had a historectomy in the last few years so I think she's clinging on for dear life to anything she's given birth to.

She won't let her 22 year old daughter move out because it's "too soon" despite the fact that the daughter is a fully independent working woman that pays her own way :rotfl:

Doesn't anyone in your partner's family have a backbone?
Won't let her daughter move out?
C'mon.
She either can't be that independent or doesn't actually want to move out.

supermassive wrote: »

And as for the others - I need to be there at my mum's because my younger brother has me and.. well... that's it. He's my favourite, really.

I understand about your brother.

I just don't see why you have to leave your MIL's house because they are going to the pub.
Is it because she doesn't trust you in the house? :rotfl:
Or do you really have to see your brother twice on Christmas Day?

supermassive wrote: »

As for the rest... I have to be at my dad's because that's generally where the atmosphere is nice, the people are nice, everyone's relatively normal and there's a great likelyhood that he'll "accidentally" drink one glass too many and we'll get to watch him do the "mr soft" walk all day. :rotfl:

You don't have to be at your Dad's.
You want to be there.

supermassive wrote: »

I might just send OH to do my Xmas greetings and stay home with the dog, who, to be honest, I love more than any of that lot!

I'd plump for this option.

BarryBlue

I do feel sorry for people who have, over the years, allowed themselves to be drawn into all sorts of so-called traditions which seem to involve the ritual visiting and receiving visitors over Christmas when they would far rather be left alone. I can see why they may feel it is difficult to get off this treadmill of drudgery.

Over 20 years ago we concluded that we were sick of it all and decided to bite the bullet. We found a package at a hotel where it was really laid back with no forced celebrating. There was a dinner on Christmas Eve, a relaxed breakfast on Christmas Day, a table for 2 for lunch whenever we wanted to eat, and a late night buffet. Departure was after a hearty breakfast on Boxing Day. No Santa, carol services or other forced celebrations. I recall going for a swim on Christmas morning! There were lots of people there from businesses that had been working solid until Xmas Eve, so just wanted to kick back and relax.

We booked this and then told our families. They weren't too pleased at the thought of not being waited on but they survived. The important thing was that we broke the mould once and for all. It sent the message that we would do Christmas as we thought fit. We have hardly bothered with Christmas since. It was money well spent too, as it has saved us a fortune in the ensuing years.

2gorgeousgirls

I'm tired just reading your post. Yes, Christmas is about seeing your family but ultimately it should be a day where your can relax and enjoy a few whiskeys if that is your wish.

You will have cooked for 12 people of Christmas Eve which is very stressful and then you're going to spend Christmas Day running around like a headless turkey.

When are you going to be able to relax and enjoy the day?

If it was me I would be cutting out dad on Christmas Day and make do with one trip to in-laws.

Maybe for future years you should alternate between your family and OH.

We did that when we got married but then when our first daughter came along we agreed that we would be spending Christmas Day at home. Now we have my mum come to stay for 3 nights every year (she lives on her own) and my in-laws come every 4th year for dinner. Perfect! I haven't seen my own sister or brother on Christmas Day for 14 years and we are all fine with that - they live 70 miles away and we all have children so no-one is travelling that distance on Christmas for a visit.

As for being there to see the nephews/nieces open their presents, they don't care who is there to see them, they just want the pressies. Give the presents for dad's side to him on Christmas Even to distribute for you on Christmas Day.

Mrs_Soup

I really don't uinderstand why you are going to each place twice in one day. Go to your mums in the morning and stay there until it is time for lunch at the mother inlaws. your OH can either stay with you or go off on his own to his mums a bit earlier for the breakfast and pub bit. After lunch go to your Dads. Two visits to each parent when you are spendintg the day with them before or after is a bit mental.

maman

If you started the thread just for a rant, then that's fine and understandable.


You don't sound as if you want any advice. It's something you (and your OH) are allowing to happen, the solution is in your hands as others have said.

trolleyrun

I'd remove a spark plug on my car if I didn't have the backbone to use the word "no". That way I could spend the day at home, in peace, eating and drinking whatever I felt like. This year I'm considering Sausages & mash with copious amounts of £2.99/bottle white wine