Christmas festivities...

securityguy

BarryBlue wrote: »

I do feel sorry for people who have, over the years, allowed themselves to be drawn into all sorts of so-called traditions .

To paraphrase Herman Goering, himself misquoting Hanns Johst, "When I hear the phrase 'Christmas Tradition', I reach for my revolver".

securityguy

supermassive wrote: »

No. It's (as I've said numerous times) a schedule that other people are creating and wanting us to work around. Because they have children and we don't. And because of MIL being overbaring and needing to stick to weird traditions.

Just tell them to !!!! off.

It'll cause trouble once, but it's worth it.

I'm fifty next month. I've not, as as adult, had Christmas anywhere other than in the place of my choosing, usually either my own house or somewhere random on holiday. If my parents or my in-laws don't like that, that's just tough. My children prefer Christmas in their own house, and as far as I'm concerned that's the end of the conversation. Relatives are welcome to join us, and if they don't, that's their choice. We put our foot down as soon as we were living together, and haven't deviated from that over the last thirty years.

Pollycat

Brighton_belle wrote: »

I think the OP is male.

That might explain why the plans are so complicated then.

supermassive

Pollycat wrote: »

That might explain why the plans are so complicated then.

I actually think you may have a point.

I'm not reluctant to try and change the plans at all, perhaps I can't see the wood for the trees and all that malarkey... it's just that the personalities involved (MIL) are not ones that take kindly to being questioned.

I've suggested that I cook (urgh again, 2 days in a row) xmas dinner for my younger brother and my mum. This will take a big chunk of crazy out of the equation as it'll then remove the back-and-forth to MIL and Mum. It hasn't gone down too well with MIL at all.

When I say "hasn't gone down too well" I mean she's thrown her toys out of the pram. Many lectures about 'breaking tradition' and 'not spending xmas with her oldest son' and blah blah blah all kinds of "don't you know you don't matter?" style phrases. Even down to "I'll come and pick him up and drive him to my house". :rotfl:

I feel that she thinks she can push me around because I'm male and she's a very pushy, controlling woman. Her poor husband gets no end of stick from her about various rubbish. I don't think she understands quite that just because I'm with her son, and have been for years, that doesn't make me her son - nor does it mean she can control me.

FYI medical post gets sent to her because OH is a pushover to her. He's learned after years of being ground down by her personality that it's easier to just give up when she's being demanding. aka he's testicularly inept.

So yes. I've put a pig amongst the roosters, or whatever that saying is... but I'm not looking forward to the repercussions that come on Xmas day in the form of snide comments at my expense for stealing her son away on xmas day. :rotfl:

PS: I tried to be subtle, in order to not be condescending, but it didn't work for some lol . We're both male.

margaretclare

Thanks for the explanation. It's all a bit clearer now.

Somebody sooner or later is going to have to develop that thing that goes down the middle of your back, what's it called - oh yes, a backbone - and stand up to madam. She absolutely sounds like a termagant from hell.

How this has all developed to this point is this virago has ruled the roost for years on end, and Christmas is only relevant in that it highlights what is the basic problem.

I agree with securityguy.

You have my deepest sympathy.

CH27

supermassive wrote: »

I actually think you may have a point.

I'm not reluctant to try and change the plans at all, perhaps I can't see the wood for the trees and all that malarkey... it's just that the personalities involved (MIL) are not ones that take kindly to being questioned.

I've suggested that I cook (urgh again, 2 days in a row) xmas dinner for my younger brother and my mum. This will take a big chunk of crazy out of the equation as it'll then remove the back-and-forth to MIL and Mum. It hasn't gone down too well with MIL at all.

When I say "hasn't gone down too well" I mean she's thrown her toys out of the pram. Many lectures about 'breaking tradition' and 'not spending xmas with her oldest son' and blah blah blah all kinds of "don't you know you don't matter?" style phrases. Even down to "I'll come and pick him up and drive him to my house". :rotfl:

I feel that she thinks she can push me around because I'm male and she's a very pushy, controlling woman. Her poor husband gets no end of stick from her about various rubbish. I don't think she understands quite that just because I'm with her son, and have been for years, that doesn't make me her son - nor does it mean she can control me.

FYI medical post gets sent to her because OH is a pushover to her. He's learned after years of being ground down by her personality that it's easier to just give up when she's being demanding. aka he's testicularly inept.

So yes. I've put a pig amongst the roosters, or whatever that saying is... but I'm not looking forward to the repercussions that come on Xmas day in the form of snide comments at my expense for stealing her son away on xmas day. :rotfl:

PS: I tried to be subtle, in order to not be condescending, but it didn't work for some lol . We're both male.

I wouldn't be happy if my OH allowed his mother to contstanly disrespect me & my family.

supermassive

CH27 wrote: »

I wouldn't be happy if my OH allowed his mother to contstanly disrespect me & my family.

"allow" is a bit strong. She's beyond the realms of anyone's control.

CH27

supermassive wrote: »

"allow" is a bit strong. She's beyond the realms of anyone's control.

They all allow her to behave that way.

1886

OP.... I'm tired from having just read what you're going to be doing!

One year we saw my parents and my wife's parents on the same day and it was not a good idea. Lots of rushing around and having to leave before we wanted to. Now we see different ppl on different days and alternate it for the next year if need be. I don't like unnecessary stress

supermassive

CH27 wrote: »

They all allow her to behave that way.

I'd hazard a guess that you're not familiar with this particular personality type. They don't listen when told. Ever. She's "always right".

A prime example is when she tried to secretly get a key cut to our home, so she could "check on us". :rotfl: I mean, really... come on now. She was told in no uncertain terms that if that happened, I wanted a key to her house so I could 'check' that her surround sound was still working at 3am every single morning.

It's not that she's been allowed, or not told, but that resistance is futile. She's Darth MIL.