Christmas festivities...

supermassive

Pollycat wrote: »

Of course you're not obliged to cave in.

If, however, you want to take the easy path then do exactly what your MIL demands.

It is actually very simple in real life, you just don't have the bottle (and the support from your partner) to do it.

...Because you know the ins and outs of it in actual life? No.

Consequences of actions are of paramount importance, I'm afraid. We can't all go doing whatever's logical like everything's black and white. Certain things (like annoying the devil in law) are things that have to be weighed up in terms of is it worth the backlash and series of events that will follow.

CH27

supermassive wrote: »

...Because you know the ins and outs of it in actual life? No.

Consequences of actions are of paramount importance, I'm afraid. We can't all go doing whatever's logical like everything's black and white. Certain things (like annoying the devil in law) are things that have to be weighed up in terms of is it worth the backlash and series of events that will follow.

But if you don't make a stand your lives will be dictated by her.

supermassive

securityguy wrote: »

Oops no you weren't, because the other senses are metaphoric, not
literal. But anyway.



No, you aren't.

But you're clearly happy doing so, so enjoy.

literally
ˈlɪt(ə)rəli/Submit
adverb
in a literal manner or sense; exactly.
"the driver took it literally when asked to go straight over the roundabout"
informal
used for emphasis while not being literally true.
"I have received literally thousands of letters"

For more information, consult your local school or library.

Oops, you haven't been helpful in any post. Or even polite.

supermassive

CH27 wrote: »

But if you don't make a stand your lives will be dictated by her.

Thus the problem. With people like this, you have to handle it with a certain amount of tact and 'kid gloves' so to speak. Brick walling her will only result in kneejerk reactions etc.

Pollycat

supermassive wrote: »

...Because you know the ins and outs of it in actual life? No.

Consequences of actions are of paramount importance, I'm afraid. We can't all go doing whatever's logical like everything's black and white. Certain things (like annoying the devil in law) are things that have to be weighed up in terms of is it worth the backlash and series of events that will follow.

I know the ins and outs well enough to know that I wouldn't be running myself ragged all over town on Christmas Day to please someone like your MIL.

TBH, I can't honestly see what you expected to get out of this thread.

Lots of posters have given you advice but it's clear you have no intention of taking it.

supermassive

Pollycat wrote: »

I know the ins and outs well enough to know that I wouldn't be running myself ragged all over town on Christmas Day to please someone like your MIL.

TBH, I can't honestly see what you expected to get out of this thread.

Lots of posters have given you advice but it's clear you have no intention of taking it.

Well then if you're not going to be more helpful than that, you have no need to post

purpleshoes_2

Perhaps if your OH is happy to let you ship him about, much of the problem lies with him. But it looks like you know what you are getting yourself into when it comes to his family.

margaretclare

supermassive wrote: »

Thus the problem. With people like this, you have to handle it with a certain amount of tact and 'kid gloves' so to speak. Brick walling her will only result in kneejerk reactions etc.

So, what can she really do to you?

Also, about your OH's medical details being sent to her. This is a breach of patient confidentiality.

Pollycat

supermassive wrote: »

Well then if you're not going to be more helpful than that, you have no need to post

People - including me- HAVE been helpful.
You just don't like the truth.:p

Bye Bye.

duchy

supermassive wrote: »

I'd hazard a guess that you're not familiar with this particular personality type. They don't listen when told. Ever. She's "always right".

A prime example is when she tried to secretly get a key cut to our home, so she could "check on us". :rotfl: I mean, really... come on now. She was told in no uncertain terms that if that happened, I wanted a key to her house so I could 'check' that her surround sound was still working at 3am every single morning.

It's not that she's been allowed, or not told, but that resistance is futile. She's Darth MIL.

Oh I had an aunt like that.
Strangely the family members she respected were the ones who said No to her not the ones who cowered.

Most of the family were scared of her (and her evil tongue). I remember the shock on her face when at sixteen I turned around to her and said if she was going to make rude remarks about my mother to me I'd be leaving and not visiting her again. I didn't shout-I just stated it firmly and factually. She never-ever- did it again in my hearing ! I was fond of her despite her nasty side as she could be wonderful -and used to visit her often as an adult- but if she started going off on one I'd simply say I had to leave- and left. Only had to do it once or twice- Once she realized I wouldn't make a drama out of her doings but simply removed myself without getting into conflict she gave up doing it.

I stayed with her after the sister she lived with died suddenly - The sister had always complained she opened her mail ....she denied it. I had been there four days when a bank statement my Dad had daftly readdressed to me there arrived. I got home from work to find it opened (we didn't share a surname) -I left that night instead of staying the arranged couple of weeks. No drama -just went. She didn't like it -but she respected me for it and I got less grief than anyone else in the family.

If you let her control you -then she will. If you say No sometimes - you might get a sulk for a bit -but ultimately you'll get her respect.